VOA慢速英语-- 美国人谈论唐纳德·特朗普是不是太多了?

Do Americans Talk Too Much About Donald Trump¹?

In the months before the 2016 presidential election in the United States, American psychologist Laurie Helgoe grew increasingly concerned. She worried a little about the campaigns. She worried more about the public’s reaction to them.

Americans’ comments on social media seemed to be filled with either extreme praise or extreme criticism, Helgoe told VOA in a telephone interview. Many of the comments focused especially on the personality of then-candidate Donald Trump. Helgoe observed that few people could let go of their strong feelings.

Helgoe was so worried that she wrote a book to help people deal with what she calls a “dangerous” situation in the U.S. today. The book is titled “Fragile Bully²: Understanding Our Destructive Affair with Narcissism⁴ in the Age of Trump.” Helgoe is a professor at the Ross University School of Medicine in the Bahamas.

Are Americans more narcissistic⁶ than people from other countries?

A simple definition of the word “narcissism” is “self-interest” – doing and saying what is good for you.

Some self-interest is important, Helgoe notes. But someone who carries the idea too far may not be able to understand other people’s ideas or feelings. And someone who is very extreme may insist on keeping the attention on himself or herself at all times, then become hurt when criticized.

Helgoe notes that narcissism as a true mental disorder⁷ is rare. Instead, she says, levels of narcissism differ among people.

Levels may also differ from culture to culture. For example, she reports that in one study, American researchers joined with scientists from China, Turkey, Spain and the United Kingdom. They found that people in those countries believed Americans as a group were more narcissistic than people from their own countries.

Helgoe says the finding could suggest that parts of American culture urge people to be narcissistic. For example, the U.S. is a center for movies and television, so people who can pull attention to themselves are often seen as successful. And in general, Americans also believe standing³ out as an individual is good.

In brief, “narcissism sells, and it creates a following,” says Helgoe. Even if people dislike what he or she says, someone who can hold others’ attention has power.

How to deal with a narcissistic person

But narcissism can also be damaging, Helgoe warns, especially if it is extreme. She points to the origins of the word “narcissism.”

It comes from an ancient Greek story. In the story, a beautiful young man named Narcissus refuses the attention of a female spirit called Echo. Instead, Narcissus falls in love with an image of himself he sees in some water.

The two become trapped. Echo cannot speak her own words – instead, she can only repeat what Narcissus says. And Narcissus cannot move, even to eat or drink, because he does not want to stop looking at himself. In time, they both die.

This kind of damaging interaction can describe being in a relationship with an extreme narcissist⁵, says Helgoe.

“It can feel like a dance… It sometimes feels like no matter how you respond, you are trapped,” she says.

She says people who are around extreme narcissists often feel deep anger, or rage, because they are dismissed. But when they fight the narcissist, the person claims she or he is the real victim.

Even those who accept an extreme narcissist are in a difficult position. They may enjoy the feelings of energy and power he or she brings. But they always risk being sent away.

In time, both those who resist and those who support an extreme narcissist may “become small,” Helgoe says. They may become extremely negative; they may feel helpless and pull away in sadness; or they may connect so strongly with the narcissist that they lose the ability to think for themselves. In all cases, they come to copy the narcissist, like Echo in the Greek story.

Public beware

Helgoe says she sees some of these problems in the U.S. today. Even though the title of her book includes the word “Trump,” she does not make any judgments⁸ about the U.S. president. Instead, she notes that ties are increasing among social media, politics and entertainment. As a result, people who can make others follow them, push for causes and create strong feelings are gaining power in American society. Their power can be a problem if they care more about their self-interest or self-image than about the needs of the community.

Helgoe warns that, in these situations, the public must be careful. She says people in a relationship with a narcissist can come to enjoy the strong feelings he or she creates. The feelings can act like a drug. Protecting your group can be fun. Deep anger can also be fun, Helgoe notes – and seeing someone with whom you are angry be punished can be really fun.

But the strong feelings hurt us, Helgoe says. They hurt our relationships with other people, and they hurt our own mental health. They also demand we spend a lot of time thinking about what Helgoe calls poisonous ideas.

She advises people who are around narcissists to soften⁹ their feelings a little bit. Do not give attention so easily to someone who wants only to “stir you up,” to affect you intensely.

“The world is a more benign¹⁰ place than what it looks like in a narcissistic narrative¹¹,” Helgoe says. In other words, the world is gentler and safer than narcissists want you to believe. Do not fall for their stories.

I’m Kelly Jean Kelly.

Words in This Story

stand out - v. to be easily seen or noticed

entertainment - n. amusement or pleasure that comes from watching a performer, playing a game, etc.

benign - adj. gentle and kind

narrative - n. a story that is told or written

1 trump   

n.王牌，法宝；v.打出王牌，吹喇叭

参考例句：

• He was never able to trump up the courage to have a showdown.他始终鼓不起勇气摊牌。
• The coach saved his star player for a trump card.教练保留他的明星选手，作为他的王牌。

2 bully   

n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮

参考例句：

• A bully is always a coward.暴汉常是懦夫。
• The boy gave the bully a pelt on the back with a pebble.那男孩用石子掷击小流氓的背脊。

3 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

4 narcissism   

n.自我陶醉，自恋

参考例句：

• Those who suffer from narcissism become self-absorbed.自恋的人会变得自私。
• The collective narcissism of the Kerouac circle is ultimately boring.凯鲁亚克和他周围人物的集体自我陶醉欲最终使人厌烦不已。

5 narcissist   

n.自我陶醉者

参考例句：

• Don't get caught in the trap of always trying to please a narcissist. 不要让自己一直陷入讨好自恋者的困境中。 来自互联网

6 narcissistic   

adj.自我陶醉的，自恋的，自我崇拜的

参考例句：

• In the modern vocabulary, it was narcissistic. 用时髦话说，这是一种自我陶醉狂。 来自辞典例句
• This is our Nielaoshi, a dwarf has also grown narcissistic teachers. 这就是我们的倪老师，一个长得又矮又自恋的老师。 来自互联网

7 disorder   

n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调

参考例句：

• When returning back,he discovered the room to be in disorder.回家后，他发现屋子里乱七八糟。
• It contained a vast number of letters in great disorder.里面七零八落地装着许多信件。

8 judgments   

判断( judgment的名词复数 )； 鉴定； 评价； 审判

参考例句：

• A peculiar austerity marked his judgments of modern life. 他对现代生活的批评带着一种特殊的苛刻。
• He is swift with his judgments. 他判断迅速。

9 soften   

v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和

参考例句：

• Plastics will soften when exposed to heat.塑料适当加热就可以软化。
• This special cream will help to soften up our skin.这种特殊的护肤霜有助于使皮肤变得柔软。

10 benign   

adj.善良的，慈祥的；良性的，无危险的

参考例句：

• The benign weather brought North America a bumper crop.温和的气候给北美带来大丰收。
• Martha is a benign old lady.玛莎是个仁慈的老妇人。

11 narrative   

n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的

参考例句：

• He was a writer of great narrative power.他是一位颇有记述能力的作家。
• Neither author was very strong on narrative.两个作者都不是很善于讲故事。