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(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
It’s been a while since we’ve heard from our space-travelling canine1 character, Astropup. He returns in this two part adventure in which we discover what happened to his comrade, the Parrot Major when he was put on trial for disobeying orders.
And some news. Natasha is holding a Storynory workshop in the English city of Warwick on Saturday 11 September. For more details email [email protected] or download the flyer. Natasha’s Workshop Flyer
We would like to thank our sponsor, the Center for Guided Montessori Studies.
Story by Bertie. Duration 15.25.
Read by Richard.
There have been many times in my space career when I’ve been only too glad to be classified as a dumb animal. Well now, having made that opening statement, I can see that some of the brighter sparks among you are wanting to know how it is that I, a dog who can not speak your language, landed this jammy job as a narrator of stories. All I will say for now are two words: “Alien Technology”…. there, that’s got you panting to know more, but you’ll have to wait to hear the details, because today, I’m here to talk not about myself, but about a bird. His brain’s the size of a medium sized nut, but don’t let that fool you, because he’s a super-smart fellow.
I think you are already pretty familiar with him: He’s a Parrot and he’s a Major in the Space Force, and boy, can he talk, -and talk and talk and talk, far better than he can squawk even. If you’ve been cramped3 up in a space capsule with a long-winged bird as long as I have, then I think you will understand the meaning of the phrase, “silence is golden.”
Now, let’s imagine for a moment that he couldn’t talk, or that all he could say was: “Who’s a pretty Polly” or some other such nonsense that amuses the human folk. If that had been the case, then I don’t suppose that they would have Court Marshalled him. For if you heard our last adventure, you’ll know that as soon as we got back to Earth, the Space Force put the Parrot on charges of Disobeying Orders and Deliberately4 Jeopardising a Critical Mission.
Let me take you back to our last adventure in the out-reaches of cold, dark, space. As soon as we had escaped from that twittering and tweeting abomination, the Ship of Birds, we high-tailed it across the galaxy5, back to the gorgeous blue planet that we call home. Our capsule splashed down in the ocean, and after a long, long wait, the humans came to fish us out. They hauled us up on board a navel ship, and it was straight into quarantine for the bird and the dog. The scientists were curious to know if we had picked up any novel or interesting infections , like space-pox, or martian flu, or alien super-fleas. I didn’t mind the inconvenience too much because I got a bag of squirrel flavoured dog biscuits as a reward. The poor Parrot though, nearly went out of his mind until they gave him an internet connection and a book of cryptic6 crossword7 puzzles.
You’d think that after months of space-travel and quarantine, it would be hard to throw anymore punishment at a Parrot. But I almost felt guilty when at last I was set free, and able to enjoy my canine rights, and chase cats and rats around the park, and lick the face of my owner, Jenny. You see, as soon as the doctors had finished with us, the Military Police took the poor old Parrot away in a cage like a common criminal. His beak8 was even pictured in the newspapers. They had a headline that dubbed9 him:
“The Parrot Who Betrayed the World”
I know this, because Jenny’s Dad read it out to the family at the Sunday breakfast table. He patted my head and said:
“They won’t be sending our Bonzo out on any more missions with that treacherous10 bird.”
Looking back, I understand now what the humans were driving at. They were hinting that the Parrot was more than a hothead who wouldn’t listen to instructions. They suspected him of colluding with alien birds, and conspiring11 with them to take over the world. But as they didn’t have any hard evidence, they were aiming to nail him on lesser12 charges.
I felt bad enough for the poor Major, but then a letter came with even worse news. I never trust postmen myself, and I don’t know why humans open those letters – they only ever seem to make Jenny’s Dad furious. He shouts things like, “What? That idiot plumber13 was only here half an hour and he wants me to pay him the price of a decent holiday!”
And true to form, this letter was a right stinker. Apparently14 the prosecution15 department had cast me as the star witness at the trial of the Parrot. It was a tricky16 situation: I’d either have to fib on oath, or spill out the the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and land my feathered friend right in the doggy-doo. I didn’t fancy either way. But fortunately, my lawyer got me off the hook. He showed the Judge my “Dumb Animal” certificate, and it was agreed that I was too stupid to give evidence at the trial. Well I didn’t care what they said about me, so long as I didn’t have to be cross-examined in court.
And so I’m glad to say that I watched the Parrot’s Court Marshal from the public bench along side Jenny. I wanted to be there, to give my friend moral support. He can be quite an annoying bird, as nobody knows better than myself, but there comes a time when fur and feather should stick together.
Because it was a Court Martial17 the legal bigwigs wore military uniforms. The Parrot proudly sported his medals and his insignia, which showed that he was a Major, on his wings. He tried to sit up as straight and as solider-like as possible. There was a grim seriousness that hung over the whole proceedings18. It was as tense as a vet’s waiting room.
Even without my help, the prosecution lawyer thought he had the Parrot as good as sent down. He had all the transcripts19 of the radio conversations with Mission Control, in which you could hear him telling our human superiors where they could get off, so to speak.
When the prosecution finished the opening remarks and sat down, the Major’s feathers were looking even more yellow than usual, and his little beady eyes were red with fury. At this rate, he would be getting a ten year stretch in the bird coop.
But that was before we heard what the defence had to say. As soon as the lady-lawyer who was on the Parrot’s side stood up, I began to feel hope in my heart. She gave the impression of being immensely clever – like the dog trainer I went to when I was a pup. She asked the defendant20 to take the perch21 on the witness stand. She looked at him over her spectacles and said:
“Now Major, will you kindly22 tell the court when you first realized that you had the power of human speech?”
“It was in my first year at university,” said the Parrot. “I used to fly into the lecture hall and I would listen to the philosophy lecturer. Later on, when I was back in my tree, I would repeat all that I had heard back to myself.”
“Well, I didn’t. I was sort of an unofficial student.”
“So do you have any formal education?”
“Not exactly.”
“Thank you. That will be all.”
The Parrot looked puzzled as he fluttered back to his place on the bench. You could see he was thinking the same as me: “Is that it?”
But his lawyer was a smart lady, and she had a top-notch expert witness up her sleeve. She called a zoology24 professor who had written some learned papers on avian communication and thought. This professor was famous for having taught a parakeet to say things like: “Pass me a nut please” and “Tidy up this cage, it’s a disgrace. ” For a while, the parakeet had his own TV show on Tuesday afternoons on Channel 97, but that celebrity25 bird-brain couldn’t actually hold his own in a dinner-party conversation, let alone fly a spaceship like the Major.
The defence asked the witness if a parrot could be held responsible for his actions: The zoology professor laughed and wanted to know if it was a serious question.
“Deadly serious,” said the lady lawyer sternly, “The reputation and freedom of a distinguished26 officer in the Space Force is at stake,” and the judge leaned over and reminded the professor that he was on oath.
“Well no,” said the professor, “By nature parrots are the most irresponsible birds you could imagine, and no matter how chatty they are, only a fool would put them in charge of anything.”
“And because a Parrot can speak, does that mean that he can understand?”
“Of course not,” said the professor looking quite puzzled that anyone could ask such a dim question.
At that, the Parrot screeched27 “Rubbish! I can understand everything” and the judge banged his hammer on the desk and gave him a stern talking to, saying that he would have him taken down to the bird cages if he went on that way.
“This is an insult. I want to plead guilty!” the Major squawked. I barked to tell him to pipe down, and all at once the court was filled with the sound of chatter28 and gossip.
“Silence! Silence in court!” called the Judge, as he hammered away with his gavel.
The defence lawyer stood up and spoke29 over the uproar30: “My Lord. The Parrot can’t change his plea because he lacks the power of reasonable thought, and as we have heard, he isn’t responsible for what he says or does. The case for the defence is that a bird cannot be put on trial because he isn’t a rational, intelligent or responsible being.”
“That’s it. You’re fired!” called out the Parrot.
When the noisy prisoner had been dragged down to the cells, and all was quiet in the court room once again, the Judge said. “Well that’s better. It’s time to call this farce31 to an end. Case dismissed.”
There were gasps32 of astonishment33 around the room and I woofed with delight. The guards were sent down to the cages to release the prisoner. But do you think the Parrot was pleased with his freedom? Not a bit of it. I’ve never known such an ungrateful bird. Outside the court, he perched himself on a statue of justice with her weighing scales, while his lawyer read out a statement to the scribbling34 reporters, fast snapping photographers, and smart-suited television crews:
“This is a case that should never have come before the Court Martial. My client has served in the Space Force with great distinction for a number of years, and he is deeply hurt that his employers could have treated him so shoddily. He will be seeking damages from those in the media who have dragged his good name through the dirt. In the meantime, he wishes it to be known that he has resigned from the Space Force with immediate35 effect.“
I could see that my friend, the ex-Major, was hopping36 up and down with fury, while bird-pooping on the head of Lady Justice. He was a proud Parrot, and I think he would actually have preferred to be found guilty, than to be let off on the grounds that he was not a rational, intelligent or responsible being. That was the last I saw or heard of him for quite some time. I learnt on the grapevine that he had retired37 to a bird sanctuary38 in England.
But way out in space, a chain of events had begun, that would lead inextricably to the Parrot’s restoration as an inter-galactic hero. The first signs that the very existence of humanity and all intelligent life on Earth was under threat were…. well, that’ll have to wait for another story, because I’ve only been paid to rattle39 on for twelve minutes or so. If they give me another bag of dog biscuits, I’ll tell you what happened next in a story called “Astropup and the Invasion of the Bird-Brains.”
Text Copyright Hugh Fraser 2010
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1
canine
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| adj.犬的，犬科的 | |
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proofread
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| vt.校正，校对 | |
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cramped
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| a.狭窄的 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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galaxy
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| n.星系；银河系；一群(杰出或著名的人物) | |
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cryptic
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| adj.秘密的，神秘的，含义模糊的 | |
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crossword
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| n.纵横字谜，纵横填字游戏 | |
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beak
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| n.鸟嘴，茶壶嘴，钩形鼻 | |
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dubbed
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| v.给…起绰号( dub的过去式和过去分词 )；把…称为；配音；复制 | |
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treacherous
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| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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conspiring
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| 密谋( conspire的现在分词 )； 搞阴谋； （事件等）巧合； 共同导致 | |
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lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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plumber
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| n.(装修水管的)管子工 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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prosecution
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| n.起诉，告发，检举，执行，经营 | |
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tricky
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| adj.狡猾的，奸诈的；(工作等)棘手的，微妙的 | |
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martial
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| adj.战争的，军事的，尚武的，威武的 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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transcripts
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| n.抄本（ transcript的名词复数 ）；转写本；文字本；副本 | |
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defendant
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| n.被告；adj.处于被告地位的 | |
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perch
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| n.栖木，高位，杆；v.栖息，就位，位于 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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enroll
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| v.招收；登记；入学；参军；成为会员（英)enrol | |
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zoology
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| n.动物学，生态 | |
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celebrity
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| n.名人，名流；著名，名声，名望 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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screeched
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| v.发出尖叫声( screech的过去式和过去分词 )；发出粗而刺耳的声音；高叫 | |
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chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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uproar
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| n.骚动，喧嚣，鼎沸 | |
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farce
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| n.闹剧，笑剧，滑稽戏；胡闹 | |
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gasps
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| v.喘气( gasp的第三人称单数 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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scribbling
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| n.乱涂[写]胡[乱]写的文章[作品]v.潦草的书写( scribble的现在分词 )；乱画；草草地写；匆匆记下 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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hopping
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| n. 跳跃 动词hop的现在分词形式 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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sanctuary
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| n.圣所，圣堂，寺庙；禁猎区，保护区 | |
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39
rattle
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| v.飞奔，碰响；激怒；n.碰撞声；拨浪鼓 | |
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