欧美人文风情第281篇:为什么每个人的童年中都有一只大玩偶?

 Sometimes you can catch important things about human nature in apparent incidentals. 有时，你能透过显见的小事情发觉关于人类天性的重要线索。

It's well observed that between the ages of around one and 12, 据观察，在一到十二岁间，

many children manifest a deep attachment¹ to a stuffed, soft object, normally shaped into a bear, a rabbit, or—less often—a penguin². 许多孩子对填充、柔软的物品会展现密切的依附感，这些物品通常被做成小熊、兔子或是比较少见的企鹅的样子。

The depth of the relationship can be extraordinary. 这段关系的深度可以很惊人。

The child sleeps with it, talks to it, cries in front of it, and tells it things it would never tell anyone else. 小孩和他的绒毛玩具一起睡觉、和它说话、在它面前哭泣，还告诉它绝不可能告诉他人的事情。

What's truly remarkable³ is that the animal looks after its owner, addressing him in a tone of unusual maturity⁴ and kindness. 真正令人惊叹的是，动物玩偶会照顾它的主人，用独特的成熟和善良语调与他对话。

It might, in a crisis, urge the child not to worry so much and to look forward to better times in the future. 它可能在危机发生时激励小孩，告诉他别担心太多，并期待未来更好的时光。

But naturally, the animal's character is entirely⁵ made up. 但当然，动物玩偶的角色完全是被创造出来的。

The animal is simply something invented, or brought to life, by one part of the child in order to look after the other. 那动物仅仅是由孩子心里的一部分所创造或赋予生命的东西，以能照顾另一部分的自己。

The English psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott was the first person to write seriously, and with sensitivity, about the business of teddy bears. 英国心理分析师 Donald Winnicott 是第一位认真又感性地研究泰迪熊行业的人。

In a paper from the early 1960s, Winnicott described a boy of six, 在 1960 年代早期的一篇论文中，Winnicott 描述了一个六岁男孩，

whose parents had been deeply abusive to him, becoming very connected to a small animal his grandmother had given him. 他的父母严重虐待他，男孩和他祖母送的小动物玩偶产生强烈的连结。

Every night, he would have a dialogue with the animal, would hug him close to his chest and shed a few tears into his stained and graying soft fur. 每天晚上他都会和玩偶对话，将他紧紧抱在胸前，且掉几滴泪在他那带有脏污又逐渐变灰的绒毛上。

It was his most precious possession, for which he would've given up everything else. 那只玩偶是男孩最珍贵的资产，男孩会为了它放弃一切。

As the boy summarized the situation to Winnicott, "No one else can understand me like Bunny can," 当男孩向 Winnicott 简述这个情况：「没有人能比兔兔更了解我」，

what fascinated Winnicott here was that it was, of course, the boy who had invented the rabbit, 在这让 Winnicott 感到有趣的事是，当然，男孩创造了兔子，

given him his identity, his voice, and his way of addressing him. 赋予他个性、声音，以及和自己说话的方式。

The boy was speaking to himself via the bunny in a voice filled with an otherwise all-too-rarely-present compassion⁶ and sympathy. 男孩是在透过这只小兔子和自己对话，以一种充满生活中少见的怜悯和同情的声音跟自己对话。

Although it sounds a little odd, speaking to ourselves is common practice throughout our lives. 虽然这听起来有些奇怪，但和自己对话是我们人生中常见的行为。

Often, when we do so, the tone is harsh and punitive⁷. 常常当我们和自己对话时，我们的语调会严厉又苛刻。

We upbraid⁸ ourselves for being losers, time-wasters, or perverts⁹. 我们责备自己一事无成、浪费时间或行为反常。

But, as Winnicott knew, mental well-being¹⁰ depends on having to hand a repertoire¹¹ of more gentle, forgiving, and hopeful inner voices. 但据 Winnicott 所知，心理健康取决于必须以一种更温柔、宽容且怀抱希望的心底声音表达。

To keep going, there are moments when one side of the mind needs to say to the other that the criticism is enough: 为了继续下去，有时候心里某一面必须告诉另一面批评已经够了：

that it understands, that this could happen to anyone, that one couldn't have known. 它能理解，任何人都可能碰到这种事，人人都没办法事先知道。

It's this kind of indispensable benevolent¹² voice that the child first starts to rehearse and exercise—with the help of a stuffed animal. 就是这种不可或缺的和蔼声音，那是孩子最先开始练习和实现的－－透过填充动物玩偶的协助。

In adolescence¹³, animals tend to get put away. 青春期时，这些动物玩偶往往被丢到一边。

They become embarrassing, evoking¹⁴ a vulnerability we're keen to escape from. 它们变得令人难为情，唤起一种我们亟欲逃避的脆弱感。

But, to follow Winnicott, if our development has gone well, 但依照 Winnicott 的建议，若我们发展良好，

what was trialled in the presence of a stuffed animal should continue all of our lives 拥有填充玩偶时的试验应该要跟着我们一辈子－－因为，

—because, by definition, we will frequently be let down by the people around us, who won't be able to understand us, 就本质来说，我们会常常对生活周遭的人感到失望，他们无法理解我们、

won't listen to our griefs, and won't be kind to us in the manner we crave¹⁵ and require. 不愿聆听我们的悲伤，而且不会以我们渴望且需要的方式善良地对待我们。

Every healthy adult should therefore possess a capacity for self-nurture, 因此每个健康的成人都应该有自我照顾的能力，

that is, for retreating to a safe, secluded¹⁶ space and speaking in a tone that's gentle, encouraging, and infinitely¹⁷ forgiving. 也就是退回一个安全、僻静的空间，并以一种温柔、鼓励和极其宽容的语调说话。

That we don't formally label the understanding self "white rabbit" or "yellow bear" shouldn't obscure the debt 虽然我们不会将宽容体贴的自己正式标签为「小白兔」或是「黄色小熊」，

that the nurturing¹⁸ adult self owes to its earlier embodiment in a furry¹⁹ toy. 但这并不应否定长大后能自我照顾的自己是早期绒毛玩偶化身的功劳。

A good adult life requires us to see the links between our strengths and our regressive, childlike states. 为有美好的成人生活，我们需要看见自己的力量和倒退、稚气状态之间的连结。

Being properly mature demands a gracious accommodation with what could seem embarrassing or humiliatingly²⁰ vulnerable. 真正的成熟需要和看似难为情或羞辱般地脆弱的事物达成一种仁慈的和解。

We should honor stuffed animals for what they really are: 我们应该向动物填充玩偶的真正样貌致敬：

tools to help us on our first steps in the vital business of knowing how to look after ourselves. 在了解如何照顾自己这项重要工作起步时帮助我们的一样工具。

 

1 attachment   

n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附

参考例句：

• She has a great attachment to her sister.她十分依恋她的姐姐。
• She's on attachment to the Ministry of Defense.她现在隶属于国防部。

2 penguin   

n.企鹅

参考例句：

• The penguin is a flightless bird.企鹅是一种不会飞的鸟。
• He walked with an awkward gait like a penguin.他走路的步子难看得就像企鹅。

3 remarkable   

adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的

参考例句：

• She has made remarkable headway in her writing skills.她在写作技巧方面有了长足进步。
• These cars are remarkable for the quietness of their engines.这些汽车因发动机没有噪音而不同凡响。

4 maturity   

n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期

参考例句：

• These plants ought to reach maturity after five years.这些植物五年后就该长成了。
• This is the period at which the body attains maturity.这是身体发育成熟的时期。

5 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

6 compassion   

n.同情，怜悯

参考例句：

• He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
• Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。

7 punitive   

adj.惩罚的，刑罚的

参考例句：

• They took punitive measures against the whole gang.他们对整帮人采取惩罚性措施。
• The punitive tariff was imposed to discourage tire imports from China.该惩罚性关税的征收是用以限制中国轮胎进口的措施。

8 upbraid   

v.斥责，责骂，责备

参考例句：

• The old man upbraided him with ingratitude.那位老人斥责他忘恩负义。
• His wife set about upbraiding him for neglecting the children.他妻子开始指责他不照顾孩子。

9 perverts   

n.性变态者( pervert的名词复数 )v.滥用( pervert的第三人称单数 )；腐蚀；败坏；使堕落

参考例句：

• A clever criminal perverts his talents. 一个聪明的犯罪者误用了他的才智。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Not all fondlers are sexual perverts. 并非所有的骚扰者都是性变态。 来自互联网

10 well-being   

n.安康，安乐，幸福

参考例句：

• He always has the well-being of the masses at heart.他总是把群众的疾苦挂在心上。
• My concern for their well-being was misunderstood as interference.我关心他们的幸福，却被误解为多管闲事。

11 repertoire   

n.(准备好演出的)节目，保留剧目；(计算机的)指令表，指令系统， <美>(某个人的)全部技能；清单，指令表

参考例句：

• There is an extensive repertoire of music written for the flute.有很多供长笛演奏的曲目。
• He has added considerably to his piano repertoire.他的钢琴演奏曲目大大增加了。

12 benevolent   

adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的

参考例句：

• His benevolent nature prevented him from refusing any beggar who accosted him.他乐善好施的本性使他不会拒绝走上前向他行乞的任何一个乞丐。
• He was a benevolent old man and he wouldn't hurt a fly.他是一个仁慈的老人，连只苍蝇都不愿伤害。

13 adolescence   

n.青春期，青少年

参考例句：

• Adolescence is the process of going from childhood to maturity.青春期是从少年到成年的过渡期。
• The film is about the trials and tribulations of adolescence.这部电影讲述了青春期的麻烦和苦恼。

14 evoking   

产生，引起，唤起( evoke的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Some occur in organisms without evoking symptoms. 一些存在于生物体中，但不发生症状。
• Nowadays, the protection of traditional knowledge is evoking heat discussion worldwide. 目前，全球都掀起了保护传统知识的热潮。

15 crave   

vt.渴望得到，迫切需要，恳求，请求

参考例句：

• Many young children crave attention.许多小孩子渴望得到关心。
• You may be craving for some fresh air.你可能很想呼吸呼吸新鲜空气。

16 secluded   

adj.与世隔绝的；隐退的；偏僻的v.使隔开，使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• Some people like to strip themselves naked while they have a swim in a secluded place. 一些人当他们在隐蔽的地方游泳时，喜欢把衣服脱光。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• This charming cottage dates back to the 15th century and is as pretty as a picture, with its thatched roof and secluded garden. 这所美丽的村舍是15世纪时的建筑，有茅草房顶和宁静的花园，漂亮极了，简直和画上一样。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 infinitely   

adv.无限地，无穷地

参考例句：

• There is an infinitely bright future ahead of us.我们有无限光明的前途。
• The universe is infinitely large.宇宙是无限大的。

18 nurturing   

养育( nurture的现在分词 )； 培育； 滋长； 助长

参考例句：

• These delicate plants need careful nurturing. 这些幼嫩的植物需要精心培育。
• The modern conservatory is not an environment for nurturing plants. 这个现代化温室的环境不适合培育植物。

19 furry   

adj.毛皮的；似毛皮的；毛皮制的

参考例句：

• This furry material will make a warm coat for the winter.这件毛皮料在冬天会是一件保暖的大衣。
• Mugsy is a big furry brown dog,who wiggles when she is happy.马格斯是一只棕色大长毛狗，当她高兴得时候她会摇尾巴。

20 humiliatingly   

参考例句：

• The painting was reproduced humiliatingly small. 那幅画被临摹得很小，而且是小的可怜。