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(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Losers
失败者
Muriel James & Dorothy Jongeward(缪里尔·詹姆斯 多萝西·钟沃德)
Although people are born to win, they are also born helpless and totally dependent on their
environment. Winners successfully make the transition from total helplessness to independence,
and then to interdependence . Losers do not. Somewhere along the line they begin to avoid
becoming self-responsible.
Few people are total winners or losers. Most of them are winners in some areas of their lives
and losers in others. Their winning or losing is influenced by what happens to them in childhood.
A lack of response to dependency needs, poor nutrition, brutality1 , unhappy relationships,
disease, continuing disappointments, inadequate2 physical care, and traumatic events are among
the many experiences that contribute to making people losers. Such experiences interrupt, deter3 注
, or prevent the normal progress toward autonomy. To cope with negative experiences a child
learns to manipulate himself and others. These manipulative techniques are hard to give up
later in life and often become set patterns. A winner works to shed them. A loser hangs on to
them.
A loser represses his capacity to express spontaneously and appropriately his full range of
possible behavior. He may be unaware4 of other options for his life if the path he chooses goes
nowhere. He is afraid to try new things. He maintains his own status quo . He is a repeater. He
repeats not only his own mistakes, but also those of his family and culture.
A loser has difficulty giving and receiving affection. He does not enter into intimate, honest,
direct relationships with others. Instead, he tries to manipulate them into living up to his
expectations and channels his energies into living up to their expectations.
虽然人生来是要做成功者,但他们出生时也是不能自理的,完全依赖环境。成功者成
功地实现从完全依赖到自立不依赖到互相依赖的过渡。而失败者则没有。在人生的某个时
候,他们开始避免自我负责。
很少有人是完全的成功者或完全的失败者。大部分人都是在人生的某些方面是赢家,
而在另一些方面是输家。他们或赢或输受到的是童年时期亲身经历的影响。
依赖的需要得不到满足,营养不良,暴力,关系不和,疾病,频频失望,对身体爱护
不够,造成精神创伤的事件,这些经历都会使人们成为失败者。诸如此类的经历妨碍、迟
滞或阻止人们向自主自立的正常发育。为了应对负面的经历,孩子学会了操纵自己和他
人。这些操纵技能在后来的生活中很难放弃,常常成为定式。成功者尽力摆脱这些定式,
而失败者则紧紧抓住不放。
失败者抑制自己的能力,不去自发地、恰当地展现自己的全部才华。如果他选择的路
走不通,他也不知道生活还有别的选择。他害怕新事物,不思改变现状。他是个重复者,
不仅重复自己的错误,还重复他的家族和教养的错误。
失败者难以施爱于人,也不会领受他人的爱。他从不与他人建立亲密、诚实、直接的
关系。相反,他试图操纵他们,使之满足自己的期望,也把自己的精力花在满足他们的期
望上。
1 brutality | |
n.野蛮的行为,残忍,野蛮 | |
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2 inadequate | |
adj.(for,to)不充足的,不适当的 | |
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3 deter | |
vt.阻止,使不敢,吓住 | |
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4 unaware | |
a.不知道的,未意识到的 | |
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