生活大爆炸 第九季:第19集 谢尔顿处理旧物(下)

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You were right. Oh, I keep telling you good things happen to bad people. 你说得对，我一直跟你说，坏人有好报

Uh, we're gonna get started in a couple minutes. Enjoy. 电影即将开始，祝观影愉快

Who are you texting? Raj. He really wants to see this movie. 你给谁发短信呢，拉杰，他特别想看这部电影

Oh, he'll never make it in time. I know. I want to make him feel bad. 他肯定赶不上了，我知道，所以我才故意折磨他一下

"Ha, ha. Leonard and I are about to see Suicide Squad. Spoiler alert: when I see you I'm gonna spoil it." "哈哈，我和莱纳德要看《X特遣队》了，剧透警告，下次见面就是我剧透之时"

You're a good friend. 你真是个好朋友

Okay. Would you ladies please leave the room for a moment? 好了，两位女士可以暂时离开一下房间吗

Why? I need to rub my genitals on their prototype. 为什么 ，我要用生殖器把他们的原型机全都蹭一遍

What's going on? 出什么事了

Leonard and Howard don't have a flat. They went to the movies. Look. 莱纳德和霍华德不是车爆胎，他俩一起去看电影了，你们看

Son of a bitch.  Unfreakin' believable. 小兔崽子，真他妈不敢相信

You know what? I'm gonna let them know that I'm here with you and that they're busted². 我要让他们知道，我和你俩在一起，让他们像被抓奸在床

No. You know what? Don't. Don't. Let's let them think they're getting away with it. 不，别这么做，就让他们以为自己成功骗过了我们

Yeah, let's see how deep a hole they can dig for themselves. 对，看看他们自掘坟墓能掘多深

Interesting. I mean, it's not testicles on a cryostat, but I like it. 有意思，虽然比不上在低温恒温器蹭蛋蛋，但我喜欢

Why do you have a storage unit? 你怎么会有一个储藏仓库

Just wait. How long have you had it? Just wait. 不急，你已经租了多久了，不急

Do you want me to hold that computer? 需要我帮你拿电脑吗

Just wai... You know what? Actually, yes, thank you. Welcome to my Fortress³ of Shame. 不急...好呀，谢谢你，欢迎来到我的耻辱之堡

I'm sorry. Whatwhat am I looking at? 对不起，这都是些什么啊

It's basically everything I've ever owned. 这是我曾经拥有的每一件东西

Um, every book, every Tshirt, every piece of broken electronics. Just... all of it. All of it? 每一本书，每一件T恤，每一样坏掉的电子产品，所有的一切都在这里，所有的一切吗

I have a Ziploc bag filled with all my old Ziploc bags. 我还有一个塑料封口袋，用来装我所有用过的塑料封口袋

Okay. I would like to tell you that there is nothing here to be ashamed of. 好吧，我要告诉你，这里的一切没什么好羞愧的

So I'm gonna need a minute. All right, how are we gonna play this when they return? 我需要一分钟来好好消化一下，等他们回来我们该作何反应呢

I know. You guys should totally be making out with me. 我知道，你们俩应该跟我疯狂亲热

Sweetie, I know you think jokes like that are funny, but do you really think you could handle making out with both of us? 亲爱的，我知道你觉得这种玩笑很好笑，但你觉得自己真的有能力能驾驭得住我俩吗

No, ma'am. Okay. Okay, how about this? They don't know you're here with us, so you hide in the closet. 不，女王，好了好了，这个如何，他们不知道你和我们在一起，所以你就藏在这个柜子里

When they show up, we'll hear whatever their dumb story is about where they were, we'll pretend to believe them, 等他们回来，我们先听听他们编造出来的鬼故事，假装相信他们

and just when they think they got away with it, you jump out. 等他们以为自己成功骗过去的时候你就跳出来

Yeah, that's pretty good. I love it! 这个主意不错，我太喜欢了

I'll be all like, "Busted!" And they'll be like, "What?!" And then we'll all be like, "Oh, yeah!" 我会大叫，"抓到啦"，他们会说，"什么鬼"，我们就一起说，"就是酱"

Yeah, II get it. I wouldn't make out with me, either. 好好，我明白了，连我自己都不愿和我这种人亲热

In here is every clock radio I've ever owned. Calculators, VHS tapes. Sporting equipment. 这里有我拥有过的每一个收音机闹钟，计算器，录像带，运动器材

YYou have sporting equipment? 你还有运动器材啊

Well, oh, it's just a... it's a... A golf ball that my brother threw at my head. You can still feel the dent⁴. It's right next to the hockey puck dent. 那只是一个...高尔夫球，我哥哥拿来砸我的头的，砸下的坑现在还在呢，就在冰球留下的坑旁边

Okay, why do you have a bin⁵ of pinecones? 你怎么还有一整盒的松果啊

I used to collect them as a child. The spiral of scales open in the Fibonacci sequence. 这是我小时候收集的，松果的鳞片螺旋的比例按斐波那契列数排列

A fact that, when you tell your brother, gets a golf ball thrown at your head. So, why do you feel you need to save these things? 可当你把这事告诉你哥哥时，他会拿高尔夫球砸你脑袋，那你为什么觉得有必要留下这些东西呢

I'd like to say it's nostalgia⁶, but every time I think of throwing anything away, my ears start to ring, and I get butterflies in my stomach. 说好听点，这叫怀旧，可实际是，每次我想扔掉某物时，我就会开始耳鸣，内心忐忑得像有蝴蝶在我胃里乱飞

And then it feels like the butterflies get eaten by rats, and then, thethe rats get eaten by... 飞着飞着，老鼠来了，蝴蝶被吃掉了，接下来，老鼠又被吃掉了...

Okay. I get it. I get it. It ends with dinosaurs⁷. 行了，我懂了，懂了，最后来收尾的是恐龙

I'm sorry if you think less of me. I don't. 如果让你觉得瞧不起我，我很遗憾，我没有

Really? 'Cause every time I come in here, I think less of me. Why? 真的吗，因为我每次来这里都会瞧不起自己，为什么

Because I'm a fraud. No. I purport⁸ to be a man of the mind. 因为我是个骗子，我嘴上说自己意志强大

I've been such aa vocal⁹ champion of the singularity, but how can I leave my body behind and become one with the Internet when I've never even thrown a toothbrush away? 还总念叨着会有科技大突破，可一个要舍弃自己的身体成为网络一部分的我本人怎么能连一根牙刷都舍不得扔

It's okay, Sheldon. You know, I... I've saved a lot of weird¹⁰ things, too. Like what? 没关系，谢尔顿，我也有很多奇怪的东西不舍得扔掉，比如什么

Did you know I have a microscope slide with a little bit of tissue from the first brain I ever dissected¹¹? 你知道我有一片显微镜玻片，上面有一点点小组织来自我第一个解剖的大脑

I have an old teddy bear I secretly wiped my nose on for years. It's not a contest. 我有一个旧泰迪熊，我偷偷用它擦了好多年鼻子，这不是比赛

Okay, here they come. Go hide. 好，他们回来了，藏起来

Oh, man, when I come out of the closet, I'm gonna nail those guys! 天了噜，等我出了柜要把他们都干倒

Yeah, I heard it. Shut up. Hey, what's this? 好，我听出哪里有歧义了，闭嘴，这是怎么回事

Listen, we did a stupid thing. We went to a movie and lied about it, but we feel bad and want to make it up to you. 听我说，我们干了件蠢事，我们跑去看了场电影，还撒了谎，但我们知道错了，想补偿你们

So, these are for you, and if you're not too mad, we'd love to take you guys to dinner. 这花送给你们，你们要是不那么生气，就赏个脸跟我们共进晚餐吧

Yeah. Anywhere you want. 对，去哪儿吃都行

Well, thank you for being honest. 谢谢你们的坦诚

Yeah. You know, I want to be upset, but we did kind of have fun working on the prototype. 对，我本来想发火的，但我们做原型的确做得挺开心的

Don't forgive them! Stay mad at them! 别原谅他们，保持你们的怒气

What is he doing in there? Busting¹² you! 他在里面干嘛呢，抓到你们咯

It's okay. They apologized. Yeah, it's fine. 没关系，他们道歉了，对，没事了

Well this is kind of anticlimactic¹³. 这结局略显平淡啊

You know what wasn't anticlimactic? The end of the movie. Get this. 你知道什么结局不平淡吗，那电影的结局，听好了

No spoilers! No spoilers! 不要剧透，不要剧透

And he's back in the closet. Ready for dinner? 他又"进柜"了，去吃晚餐吧

Yeah. Should we invite Raj? Yes. 好呀，我们要不要叫上拉杰啊，要

So, no one else knows about this? Only you. 这事没有人知道吗，只有你

Thank you for trusting me. 谢谢你信任我

What good is having a girlfriend if you can't unload your psychological sewage on her? 有女朋友的好处就是可以把自己的心理垃圾扔给她啊

That's me, your emotional outhouse. 没错，我就是你的情绪茅坑

You know, if you ever decide you want to do something about this, I'mI'm here for you. 知道吗，如果某天你决定要处理这些东西，我会陪着你

Thank you. I wouldn't even know how to begin. Baby steps, I guess. 谢谢你，我都不知道从哪下手好，一点点来吧

I suppose I could try getting rid of the golf ball. Oh. Okay. 我可以先试着把这高尔夫球扔掉，好呀

I will always have the dent to remember it by. 反正我脑袋上自带纪念"坑"了

You did it. Do you feel okay? 你做到了，感觉还好吗

Actually, yes. I do. Well, I'm proud of you. 其实还可以，真的，我为你感到骄傲

Oh. Thanks. I'm glad I told you about the storage unit. Well, I feel closer to you now. 谢谢，我很高兴把储藏仓库的事告诉了你，我现在感觉跟你更亲近了

Oh, I feel closer to you, too. 我也感觉跟你更亲近了

You know, it's still a couple of hours until my bedtime. 话说，距离我上床睡觉的时间，还有几个小时呢

What did you have in mind? 你有什么想法吗

You look amazing. I mean, this resolution is remarkable¹⁴. 你的容颜太惊人了，这个分辨率，我跟你讲，绝了

I really had to go home for this? 有必要为了这事赶我回家吗

Yes, but it's like you're right here in the room. And yet, I'm not. 有啊，感觉就像你就在我房里一样，可是我并不在

But I feel like I could reach out and touch you. 感觉我一伸手就能碰到你

And yet, you can't. I know! 可是你并不能，就是说啊

 

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