生活大爆炸 第九季:第20集 谁没有黑历史啊(上)

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Whatcha doing? I was enjoying some virtual reality, until you ruined it with your actual face. 你在干嘛，我刚沉浸在虚拟现实的乐趣中，而你这张现实的大脸把我拉了出来

What am I smelling? 这是什么味儿

Oh, it's car air freshener. I was simulating the smell of the forest. 这是汽车香片，我在模拟森林的味道

That's not what the forest smells like. 真正的森林可不是这个味儿

Well, how would I know? 我咋知道

Why are you pretending to be outdoors? You hate it. 你干嘛意淫自己在户外，你又不喜欢

Amy showed me a compelling study that demonstrated the cognitive¹ benefit of spending time in the wilderness². 艾米给我看了一个有说服力的研究，研究证实花点时间待在野外对认知能力有好处

Buddy³, I am ready to drive you into the wilderness any time you want and leave you there. 伙计，只要你想，我随时都可以开车载你去野外，然后把你扔那儿

Well, make your jokes, but some of the participants who spent four days in the woods away from all technology reported a 50% gain in reasoning skills upon their return. 随便你笑，但部分参与者远离所有科技，在树林待了四天后，记录指出，回来后逻辑思维能力提高了50%

Okay, if that's true, why aren't there more genius squirrels? 好吧，如果那是真的，为什么没有出现更多的天才松鼠

You may need this more than I do. 你可能比我更需要这个

Here's your tea. 你的茶泡好了

Do not sneak⁴ up on a guy when he's sitting on a log. 不要悄悄走近一个坐在圆木上的男人

You know, if you really want to be in nature, why don't we rent a cabin? 如果你真的那么想亲近大自然，我们何不去租一个小木屋

Look, I'm sorry, when did you even get here? I... 抱歉，你啥时候来的，我都没...

You know, there's a cabin in Big Bear that a doctor I work with keeps offering me. 有个跟我有业务往来的医生一直邀我去大熊湖那的一个小木屋

Because he's hitting on you? She. 因为那男的想勾搭你吗，女的

Oh, good. But I could get her. 那就好，但我男女通杀

We could all go for the weekend. It'll be fun. 我们周末可以一起去，一定会很好玩

Yeah... Excuse me. Here, look up "Fun", get back to me. 好吧，借过，查"好玩"这个词，再跟我谈

You and I could still go and have a nice weekend. Sure. 咱俩可以去好好过个周末啊，好啊

Come on, Sheldon, let's go with them. 去嘛，谢尔顿，我们也去

I hardly think so. You be sure and say hello to all the mosquitoes, bees, bears, snakes, possums, poison oak, oh, and last, but not least, teenagers with guitars. 我不要，你们一定要跟以下生物问好，蚊子，蜜蜂，熊，蛇，负鼠，毒葛，最后，也是最重要的是玩吉他的少男少女们

I'll see if it's available. 我问问能不能出借

You know, if that study's real, Leonard might come back smarter than you. 如果那个研究是真的，莱纳德回来后可能就会比你聪明哦

Are you trying to manipulate me? Yes. Well done, it worked, we're going.Yay!  你这是在逼我就范吗，是的，干得好，很成功，我们去,好棒

Come on, Raj, give me a bag. 别这样，拉杰，让我帮你拿个袋吧

No, no, you're pregnant. The only thing you carry is our hope for a better tomorrow. 不行，你有孕在身，你的力气要用来"帮"人类孕育美好明天的希望

Hey, where you been? 你去哪儿了

Uh, Raj took me to the baby doctor and then we swung by the grocery store. 拉杰载我去看产科医生，然后我们顺便去了一趟杂货店

Did you get graham crackers⁵? I mean, are... what... is the baby okay? 你有买全麦饼干吗，我是说，宝宝还好吗

Yes and yes. I didn't know you needed help running errands today. 买了，很好，我不知道你今天办事需要帮忙

I didn't, but Raj volunteered. Really? 不用啊，但拉杰主动来帮忙，是吗

Yeah, ever since you told him I was pregnant, he's really been making a fuss over me. 是啊，自从你告诉他我怀孕后，他对我真是呵护备至

Oh. Well, I guess that's kind of sweet. 这样也挺好的

Bernie, I just forwarded you a list of the top five lactation consultants⁶ in Los Angeles. 妮妮，我刚给你转发了一张洛杉矶前五位哺乳专家的名单

I know my favorite, but I'd love to hear what you think. 虽然我有最爱的人选，但我还是想听听你的意见

And it just got weird⁷. 突然开始变味了

Hey. Amy's downstairs. Okay, one sec. 艾米在楼下了，好的，马上走

Uh, whatwhat you got goin' on here? 你头上戴的是什么

I bought a baseball cap. 我买了一顶棒球帽

I can see that. What team did you get? Uh, Hufflepuff, from Harry⁸ Potter. 我看出来了，帽子是哪个球队呀，《哈利波特》的赫奇帕奇学院

Well, we'll be in the woods. 去森林戴啥帽子呀

I'm ready to go. Anything you'd like to say to him? 我可以走了，你有什么话想要对他说吗

Nice hat, Sheldon. Thanks. 谢尔顿，帽子不错，谢谢

Why are you so mean to me? 你干嘛就欺负我

What the hell are you watching? 你到底在看什么啊

Raj found all these childbirth videos online. This one is of a woman giving birth in a river. 拉杰在网上找了这些生孩子的视频，这是一个女人在河里生孩子

Okay, that is the least Jewish thing I've ever seen in my life. 好吧，那是我这辈子见过最不犹太风的事情了

You feel like Raj is getting a little carried away with all the baby stuff? 你不觉得拉杰对宝宝的事有点过于上心吗

I don't think so. He just wants to be part of the experience. 不觉得啊，他只是想要参与进来而已

All right, if you say so. What's in the box? 好吧，你说是就是吧，盒子里是什么

Oh, it's an ultrasonic⁹ microphone so we can hear the baby's heartbeat. 是一个超声波麦克风，用它可以听到宝宝的心跳

That's cool. Can we try it? 挺酷啊，我们能试试吗

Actually, Raj ordered it. He made me promise to wait till he was here. So he can be... 那个其实是拉杰订的，他让我保证会等到他来了再用，这样他才能...

part of the experience? Yeah.I'm surprised he let us conceive without him. 参与进来吗，是啊,真惊讶他居然让我们单独"受孕"

It's a sore spot don't bring it up. 这是他痛处，别在他面前提

It's so cute and rustic¹⁰ up here. I know. 好有爱，好有乡村气息，对啊

Did you see they still have a video rental¹¹ place? it's like Colonial Williamsburg. 你有看到他们还有录影带出租店吗，好像弗州的威廉斯堡历史保护区

Well...cell service is down to one bar, so if anyone needs medical attention or to tell a stranger their political views are stupid, now's the time. 手机信号只剩下一格了，如果有人需要找医生或者告诉陌生人，他的政治观点很智障，赶紧趁现在

Have you ever been off the grid¹² before? 你有彻底断过网吗

Once. The battery ran out on my phone. I had to wait for my iPad to turn on. I was afraid he was gonna eat me. 有过一次，是在我的手机没电，得等我的iPad开机的那段时间，那次我以为他要把我生吞活剥了

Raj just pulled up. 拉杰到了

I'm gonna say something to him. 我得跟他说说这事

Leave it alone. He means well. 别说了，他一番好意

So you don't think he needs to rein¹³ it in a little? No, not really. 所以你不觉得他需要稍微有点分寸吗，不用，没觉得

And you're not concerned he's acting¹⁴ like somehow this is his kid, too? 你不担心他表现得有点像你肚子里的也是他孩子吗

He's just trying to be supportive. 他只是给予我关爱和支持

Just supportive. Not overthetop in any way? No. 单纯关爱和支持，完全没越界也不过火吗，是的

Hello! You saw him carrying that. 大家安安啊，你早就看见他拿着这个了

Astronauts saw him carrying that. 宇航员都看见了

This place is great! So nice of that doctor to just let you use it. 这地方好棒，那个医生真好，就白白借你用了

Well, she is taking me to an Indigo¹⁵ Girls concert, so hold that thought. 她要带我去看拉拉女团的演唱会，话先别说太早

Okay. Should we check each other for ticks? 好，我们要互相检查有没有虱子了吗

Sheldon, all we did was walk in from the car. 谢尔顿，就下车走进屋这段路而已

Oh. Well, suit yourself. Who wants to check me? 随你便，谁想检查我身上

On the other hand, safety first. 不过，不怕一万只怕万一嘛 And there goes our hike.

Wow, it's really coming down. This sucks. 大雨大雨一直下，真是衰透了，踏青是没戏了

Oh, not our hike! Now we have to stay safe and warm. 太"失望"了，现在我们只能保持安全与暖和了

You know, we could still go. A little rain isn't gonna kill us. 我们还是能去啊，一点小雨也不会死人

Have you been outside in the rain with Sheldon? 你跟谢尔顿在雨中出去过吗

No. You'll wish it would kill you. 没，你会祈求雨能弄死你

So what do we do now? They have some board games. 我们现在干嘛，这里有些桌游啊

Eh, most of the Jenga pieces are missing and the Scrabble only has seven tiles, 大多数的叠叠乐积木都不见了，而拼字游戏只剩七个字母砖

so unless you want to build an unimpressive structure with the word "SHNERPF" next to it, move on. 除非你想叠一个看起来很垃圾的塔，外加"SHNERPF"字样在一旁，否则拉倒吧

Hey, let's light a fire. Ooh, that sounds cozy¹⁶. 我们来生火吧，感觉好舒服

I don't think I've lit a real fire before. 我好像没有生过真的火

Ah, it's basic thermodynamics. I'm sure we can figure that out. 只是很基础的热力学，我们俩肯定能搞定

I could stack the logs conically to facilitate airflow. That would maximize oxygen for optimal¹⁷ combustion¹⁸. 我可以把木头按圆锥状叠来促进空气流动，这的确能为燃烧提供最足的氧气

Right. So all we need is to...Got it. A scientist made that. 对，所以我们只需要...搞定，生火装置是科学家发明的

Look, Raj, you're my best friend in the world and I really appreciate your enthusiasm about the baby. Please, my pleasure. 拉杰，你是我全世界最好的朋友，我也很感谢你对这孩子这么上心，别客气，我的荣幸

And, of course, Howie and I both want you to be a part of all this. But we have to set some boundaries. I don't understand. 我跟华仔也很愿意让你全程参与进来，但我们得设一些界线，我不懂了

The three of us aren't having this baby. Just the two of us. 这孩子不是我们三个人的，是我们两个人的

Okay. Yeah, I get it. I'll back off. 好，我懂了，我不乱插手了

Thanks for understanding. 谢谢你能理解

Of course. I'll give you guys some space. Let me just get this out of your way. 那当然，我给你们留点空间吧，帮你们把这玩意弄走，别碍事了

You need some help? No, I got it. Raj... Raj, wait. 你需要帮忙吗，不用，我能行，拉杰，拉杰，等等

Please, Bernadette. Let me leave with my dignity. 别说了，伯纳黛特，让我带着最后一点尊严离去吧

 

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