生活大爆炸 第九季:第24集 佩妮与莱纳德的二婚(上)

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Oh, Sheldon invoked¹ Rosa Parks to make somebody who cut the line feel bad, but only the white people felt bad. 谢尔顿搬出罗莎·帕克斯来让某个插队的人感到愧疚，结果只让在场白人感到愧疚

Ugh, I should've never bought him that coloring book that explains Black History Month. 我就不该给他买那本解释黑人历史月的着色本

How'd it go with my mother? 你跟我妈处得怎么样

Uh, you know, it started a little rocky, but I think we got to a good place. Well done. 一开始有些不顺，但我们现在已经处得挺好，真棒

Yeah, and when I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug. 我送她到酒店的时候，她还给了我一个拥抱

Did she think you were choking or...I'm sorry, that's great. Thank you for spending time with her. 她以为你噎到要施行海姆立克法吗，我抬杠呢，很棒啊，谢谢你花时间陪她

No problem. Um, so listen, I don't know if you have any plans next weekend, but I kind of promised your mom we'd have another wedding ceremony so she could attend this time. 小事一桩，对了，我不知道你接下来这周末有何安排，但我答应了你母亲我们会再办个婚礼，好让她这次能出席

Wait, we're gonna get married again? 等等，我们要再结一次婚吗

Yeah, kind of, but now we can invite our friends and family. 算吧，但这次我们就能邀请亲朋好友来啦

Seems like a lot of trouble for a hug. 这一个拥抱代价有点大吧

Come on, it'll be fun, and, you know, your mom was genuinely hurt we didn't invite her to the first one. 别这样，会很有意思，而且你妈妈也真的很伤心，我们第一次婚礼没邀请她去

Look, in our defense², it was kind of a spur of the moment thing, and also, we don't like her. 我得为我们辩解下，我们当时是一时兴起才去结婚的，而且我们不喜欢她啊

Leonard, come on, she's your mom. If we can do something to make her happy, why wouldn't we? 莱纳德，她可是你妈妈，如果我们能做件事讨她开心，那为什么不做

I just said why we don't like her. 我才说过理由啊，我们不喜欢她

Hey, look, then forget about her, let's do it for us. We could keep it small and informal. This time we can invite our families. 那好，那别想着是为了她，就当是为了我们自己，办一个简单又不会太隆重的就行，这次我们能邀请自己的家人

Is your brother out of prison? 你哥哥出狱了吗

Thanks to overcrowding, yeah. I'd love it if my dad could come. 对啊，监狱人满为患，提早获释，我爸要是来就好了

Oh, you have to invite him. I haven't seen him since the divorce. 我们可以邀请他啊,他们离婚后我就没见过他了

Oh, he's like a different man. He stopped twitching³, and I think he grew an inch and a half. 他整个人都不一样了，人不抽抽了，他好像还长高了4公分呢

Well, then it's settled. 那就这么定啦

God. So funny. I never thought my second marriage would be to you! 天啊，真有意思，从来没想到我的二婚对象会是你

Okay, so it's not a legal ceremony, it's just a chance for us to redo our vows⁴ so everyone can be part of it. 不是什么有法律效力的婚礼，只是一个我们重说婚誓，好让大家能在一旁观礼的机会

So there's no maid of honor? No. 所以不会有伴娘，不会

But if I were to, say, wear a purple satin dress with a sweetheart neckline and stand near you, you wouldn't be able to stop me, right? 但如果我那天要穿鸡心领的紫色绸缎小礼服，而且站在你旁边，你也没办法阻止我，对吧

I don't see how I could. 你要这样，我也没招啊

Then I graciously accept. 那我就却之不恭了

Who's going to officiate? 婚礼由谁来主持呢

I was kind of hoping you would. 我还希望由你主持呢

Wait, now I'm just some lousy maid of honor? 等等，所以我只是没啥鸟用的伴娘吗

Hey, good news, I just got off the phone with my mother. She is coming to the wedding. 好消息，我刚跟我妈说完电话，她会出席这场婚礼

Okay, wait, you're inviting⁵ people to our wedding? 好，等等，你在邀请人来参加我们的婚礼吗

Yes, I'm inviting people to our wedding. 对啊，我在邀请人来参加"我们"的婚礼

Yeah, I've already asked Stephen Hawking⁶ and Robert Downey Jr. And now, don't get your hopes up, 'cause he's pretty busy, but Erno Rubik. 我已经邀请了史蒂芬·霍金教授与小罗伯特·唐尼，还有一个人，你们期望别太高，他很忙，是厄尔诺·鲁比克

Who's Erno Rubik? Seriously? He invented the Rubik's Cube. 他是谁啊，不是吧，鲁比克的方块（魔方）就是他发明的

Okay, fine, but why would you invite him to our wedding? 好吧，行，但你为什么要邀请他来我们的婚礼

Because, despite his fame and fortune, he strikes me as a lonely man. 因为尽管他名利尽收，但我感觉到他是很寂寞的人

Well, it's very sweet of you to go to all this trouble for Leonard's mother. 你真的很贴心，为了莱纳德的妈妈这么费心费力

Yeah, I'm also doing it for Leonard. I think this could really help their relationship. 我也是为了莱纳德，我觉得这应该能改善他们的关系

How dare you invite your father without consulting me! 请你老子不用先问过老娘的吗

Sorry, but I don't think I need your permission to have my father at my wedding. 对不起，但是我不觉得邀请我爸来参加我的婚礼，需要经过你的同意

You do understand our marriage ended because he had an affair. 你知道我跟他婚姻破碎是因为他外遇了吧

I know, and there's no excuse for that. 我知道，这事万般不应该

He claimed I was cold, emasculating, and hadn't shown him any physical affection for years. 他说我冷血，伤他男性自尊，多年来对他未曾表达过任何肉体上的亲近

I was wrong, there's three excuses for that. 我错了，万般不应该中有三个应该

Oh, my God. It's working. You sure? 天啊，成功了，你确定吗

Look. The system is maintaining its own stability, the quantum vortex apparatus⁷ is now controlling the orientation⁸. You're right. 你看，系统能维持自己的稳定性，量子涡旋装置现在在自控方向，真的呢

You realize what this means? I do. 你知道这意味着什么吗，我知道

It's proof of concept. We've got a workable guidance system. Congratulations. Thanks! 这就是概念的验证，我们做出了切实可行的导向系统，恭喜你，谢谢你

Hey, I just got an email from the U.S. Air Force. Open it. 我收到了美国空军发来的电邮，打开看看

"We request a meeting at your earliest convenience regarding your quantum guidance system,provisional patent 62/295118." 我们希望能尽早跟您见面谈谈你的量子导向系统，临时专利编号是62/295118"

That's weird⁹. Is there a window around here we don't know about? 奇了怪了，这里面有我们不知道的暗窗吗

I'm sure it's just a coincidence. 我觉得应该只是巧合吧

Yeah, of course. What else could it be? 当然啦，不然还能是为什么

Boy, do I love America. 妈呀，我真是爱死美国啦

Thank you for picking me up. Oh, you're welcome. 谢谢你来接我，不客气

I was speaking to your young lady. My pleasure, Mrs. Cooper. 我是在对你的伴说，这是我的荣幸，库珀女士

Oh, please call me Mary. Okay, Mary. 叫我玛丽就好了，好吧，玛丽

You know, that doesn't work for me, let's stay with Mrs. Cooper. 这我听了不太舒服，还是就叫库珀女士吧

Sheldon, don't be silly. Wait, what? 谢尔顿，别犯傻，怎么了

That's what I called you till I got to know you better. 我跟你不熟之前，也是这么叫你的啊

It was so nice of Leonard and Penny to invite me. 莱纳德跟佩妮还邀请我，真是太好了

Well, actually, I...It sure was. 其实呢，是我...绝对是啊

I've always had a special place in my heart for Leonard. Taking care of my baby all these years. 莱纳德在我心里也很特别，他这些年来一直照顾着我的宝贝

Excuse me, I take care of him. 不好意思，是我照顾他好吗

Sure you do. So who else is coming to this shindig? 你说是就是啦，还有谁要来参加这典礼啊

Oh, well, the usual gang. Penny's family is coming tomorrow. 就我们那群人，佩妮的家人明天来

Yeah, and Leonard's mother's already here. 莱纳德的母亲已经到了

Oh, Beverly. How nice. 贝弗莉啊，真"好"

You've met her, right? Yes, I have. 你们见过，对吧，是的，见过

Mother, she's an atheist¹⁰, not a vampire¹¹. 妈，她是无神论者，又不是吸血鬼

Either way, let's stop and get some garlic. 无论哪种身份，麻烦停下车我要买大蒜驱邪

So, Mary, how have you been? 玛丽，你最近过得如何

Well, thank you so much for asking. I've been well, and you? Very good.  Good. 多谢关心，我过得很好，你呢，非常好，那就好

I don't know what we were worried about; they're getting along great. 我不知道我们有什么好担心的，她们俩相处得十分融洽

Sheldon tells me your husband's coming. My exhusband. 谢尔顿告诉我，你的丈夫也会来，是我的前夫

Oh, I'm so sorry. Don't be. All right. 真遗憾，不必，那行

Whew, chilly¹². I think I can see my breath. 气氛降至冰点，冷得都能看见我呼出来的气了

We can hear you. Sorry. Sorry. 我们听得见哦，抱歉，抱歉

I can't believe I was so naive¹³. The military is just gonna take over the whole project. And you know what happens if we object? 我真是好傻好天真，军方肯定会拿走整个项目，如果我们拒绝，后果不用想都知道

We disappear. Like off the map. Like every American Idol¹⁴ winner since season four. 我们会"被消失"，彻底人间蒸发，就像《美国偶像》第四季之后的每一位冠军（都不红）

Come on, Howard, you're overreacting. Am I? Am I? 拜托，霍华德，你反应过度了，是吗，是这样吗

Wha what do you want to bet some black ops guy is reprinting my high school year book and I'm no longer in it? 要不要打个赌，某个秘密行动组的家伙正在重印我的高中毕业纪念册，而新版本已经没我了

That chess club picture is now just David Zimmerman and Elaine Cho. 那张象棋俱乐部合照现在就剩大卫·齐默尔曼和伊莱恩·周了

Okay, look, I'm on the Air Force Web site, and the department that emailed you is in charge of acquisitions. 听着，我打开了空军的官网发邮件给你的那个部门，是专门负责收购的

So maybe they just want to give you a lot of money for your invention. 或许他们只是想花大钱买你的发明

Oh, please, that's not how it works. You saw E.T., Avatar, Jurassic World. The military just shows up and takes over. 拜托，事情肯定不是这样子，你也看过《E.T.》《阿凡达》《侏罗纪世界》吧，军方就是跑来接管一切的恶霸

You do realize those weren't documentaries, right? 你应该知道那些都不是纪录片吧

I'm sorry, you find this funny? 不好意思，你觉得很好笑吗

No, I was just thinking about Jurassic World. Boy, that was terrible. 不啊，我只是在回味《侏罗纪世界》，那真是部烂片

Oh, we have to use the stairs. When are they gonna fix your elevator? 我们得走楼梯，电梯什么时候能修好

Uh...I don't... any day now. Well, the stairs are fine. Besides, your mother is up there. 我不知道，随时吧，走楼梯也行,再说了，你妈就在楼上

Maybe I'll have a heart attack and not have to see her. 或许我走着走着心脏病发就不用见她了

Hey, I, I know things are a little rough with you and Mom, but I'm really glad you're here. 我知道你和老妈的关系有点僵,但我真的很高兴你能来

Me, too. I should have never had that angioplasty because I feel fine. 我也是,我真不应该做血管修复术，因为完全没有要病发的样子

Penny's really looking forward to seeing you. 佩妮很期待能见到你

Ah, she's a sweetie. You got a good one there, Leonard. Thanks, Dad. 她是个可人儿，你娶了一个好老婆，莱纳德，多谢，爸爸

How the hell did you do that? Isn't this nice? 你是怎么娶到好老婆的啊，真是和乐融融啊

Hey, we're here. Alfred! Thank you for coming! 我们到了，阿尔弗雷德，感谢你能来

Well, happy to be here. And congratulations. Thank you. 很高兴能来，恭喜你们，谢谢

Dad, you remember Sheldon. Dr. Hofstadter. Dr. Cooper. This is Sheldon's mother, Mary. 爸爸，这是谢尔顿，霍夫斯塔德博士，库珀博士，这是谢尔顿的母亲，玛丽

How do you do? Nice to meet you. 你好，很高兴见到你

And his girlfriend, Amy. A pleasure. Hi. 这是他的女朋友，艾米，你好，你好

And, of course, Mom. Hello, my hateful shrew. Hello to you, you wrinkled old bastard¹⁵. 当然，还有我妈，你好，可憎的悍妇，你也好，皱巴巴的老王八蛋

All right, now I'm starting to sense a little tension. 好吧，现在我能感觉到气氛有点紧张了

 

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