O you shaggy-headed banyan tree standing on the bank of the pond, have you forgotten the little child, like the birds that have nested in your branches and left you? Do you not remember how he sat at the window and wondered at the tangle of your root...
Mr Smith's New Noseby Chris RoseWell, Mr. Smith, if you prefer a different type of nose, we have a large selection available. I think this nose is a bit too small. Small noses are very fashionable this year, Mr. Smith, very fashionable. Do you think...
I Wandered Lonely as a Cloudby William WordsworthI wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the bre...
Beginner's Luckby Chris RoseJames Milners hands were shaking as he sat down at his desk. The man sitting at the computer terminal next to him laughed. First time on one of these machines, is it? No! lied James, as convincingly as he could. I could us...
Eye halve a spelling checkerIt came with my pea sea.In this poem some words have been substituted by homophones - words with the same sound but different spelling. It proves that computer spelling checkers are not infallible! Eye Halve a Spelling Che...
The interesting most boring man in the world By Chris Rose People often said that Thierry Boyle was the most boring man in the world. Thierry didnt know why people thought he was so boring. Thierry thought he was quite interesting. After all, he coll...
The broken mirror, the black cat, and lots of good luckby Chris RoseNikos was an ordinary man. Nothing particularly good ever happened to him, nothing particularly bad ever happened to him. He went through life accepting the mixture of good things an...
English LessonBy Robert SeatterRoberto is playful and wants to talk about sex in cars and gear sticks. We lose ourselves in body parts: engine, carburettor, vroom, vroom. Carla likes cooking, the gnocchi her grandmother taught her how to make - a who...
Elephants, Bananas and Aunty Ethelby Chris RoseSo, I was walking along the street, on my way to work, as usual, but for some reason I was in a hurry. I wasnt really sure why I was in a hurry. And then I realised that I was holding a banana in my hand...
Albertos New Neighboursby Chris RoseAlberto took one look at his new neighbours and knew that his life was going to get more difficult. He watched them arrive in their big, noisy car and watched them get out. There they were, two of them, as big and...
