第四册第12篇：笔杆，我的老伙伴

12. My Old Penholder 笔杆，我的老伙伴

For more than a week my pen has lain untouched. I have written nothing for seven whole days, not even a letter. Except during one or two bouts¹ of illness, such a thing never happened in my life before. In my life; the life, that is, which had to be supported by anxious toil²; the life which was not lived for living's sake, as all life should be, but under the goad³ of fear . The earning of money should be a means to an end; for more than thirty years─I began to support myself at sixteen─I had to regard it as the end itself.
我的笔已经个把星期躺在那里没人碰它。整整七天我什么也没有写，连一封信也没有写。有生以来夕除了一两次生病期间，从来不曾有过这样的事。我这一生是全靠兢兢业业艰苦劳动来维持生活的一生，这一生不是为了生活而生活，象所有生活应该有的情况那样，而是在恐俱的孤便下挣扎苟活的一生。 挣钱本不是生活的目的，而不过是达到目的的手段。我从十六岁起独自谋生，三十多年以来我却不得不把挣钱当作目的。

I could imagine that my old penholder feels reproachfully towards me. Has it not served me well ? Why do 1, in my happiness, let it lie there neglected, gathering⁴ dust? The same penholder that has lain against my forefinger⁵ day after day, for─how many years ? Twenty, at least; I remember buying it at a shop in Tottenham Court Road. By the same token I bought that day a paperweight, which cost me a whole shilling─an extravagance which made me tremble. The penholder shone with its new varnish⁶, now it is plain brown wood from end to end. On my forefinger it has made a callosity.
我可以想象，我的老伙伴笔杆在责备我。它不是很好地为我服务过了吗?为什么我在幸福之中把它弃置不度，让它躺在那里沾灰呢?正是这支笔杆日复一日地依着我的食指，已经有多少年了?至少二十年,我记得是在托特纳姆广场路一家铺子里买的。既买了笔，那天我就再买了一只镇纸，这使我花费了整整一个先令一一这种浪费当时叫我发抖。刚买时，笔杆是油光铮亮的，现在从头到尾都只剩棕色的木质本色了。这笔杆曾叫我的食指磨出老茧。

Old companion, yet old enemy ! How many a time have I taken it up, loathing⁷ the necessity, heavy in head and heart? my hand shaking, my eyes sick-dazzled. How I dreaded⁸ the white page I had to foul⁹ with ink ! Above all, on days scub as this, when the blue eyes of Spring, laughed from between rosy¹⁰ clouds, when the sunlight shimmered¹¹ upon my table and made me long, long all but to madness, for the scent¹² of the flowering earth, for the green of hillside larches¹³, for the singing of the skylark above the downs. There was a time─it seems further away than childhood─when I hook up my pen with eagerness; if my hand trembled it was with hope. But a hope that fooled me, for never a page of my writing deserved to live. I can say that now without bitterness. It was youthful error, and only the force of circumstance prolonged it. The world has done me no injustice¹⁴; thank Heaven I have grown wise enough not to rail at it for this; And why should any man who writes, even if he write things immortal¹⁵, nurse anger at the world's neglect ? Who asked him to publish ? Who promised him a hearing ? Who has broken faith with him? If my shoemaker turn me out an excellent pair of boots, and I, in some mood of cantankerous¹⁶ unreason, throw them back upon his hands, the man has just cause of complaint. But your poem, your novel, who bargained with you for it ? If it is honest journeywork, yet lacks purchasers, at most you may call yourself a hapless tradesman. If it come from on high, with what decency¹⁷ do you fret¹⁸ and fumebe cause it is not paid for in heavy cash ? For the work of man's mind there is one test, and one alone, the judgment¹⁹ of generations yet unborn .If you have written a great book , the world to come will know of it. But you don't care for posthumous²⁰ glory. You want to enjoy fame in a comfortable armchair. Ah, that is quite another thing . Have the courage of your desire . Admit yourself a merchant, and protest to gods and men that the merchamdise you offer is of better quality than much which sells for a high price. You may be right, and indeed it is hard upon you that Fashion does not turn to your stall.
我的老伙伴，可又是我的老对头!有多少次我拿起这笔杆，头脑昏沉沉，心单沉甸甸、手发抖，眼发花，感到厌恶而不得不写。看到不得不用墨水来涂污的白纸，我真害怕。尤其是碰上这样的日子—当春天的蓝湛湛的眼睛从玫瑰色的云缝里欢笑，当阳光在我的书桌上闪烁，使我几乎发狂地想念那百花盛开的大地的芳馨，想念那山坡上落叶松的一片青翠，思念那丘睦上空.云雀的歌声时，我更是害怕了。想舀年一仿佛比童年还早些—每当提笔，我总是充满热望。那时如果我的手发抖，那是为希望而发抖。可晕希望作弄了我，因为我的文章’投有一页值得生存。现在我能说着话而不感到心酸了。那是我年轻时犯下的错误，由于环境所迫，才延误至今。这世界并没 有对我不公平。感谢上苍，我现已知事明理，不会为此错误怨天尤人了。一个人写了点东西，哪怕是写出了不朽的作品，何必因未受世人的重视而怀很在心呢?谁要他出版的?谁向他 保证过必有人析他?又是谁朱信子恤的?如呆我的桂匠给我胜了一双浮亮靴子，正祖上我心情不好，.蛮不讲理，把靴子扔回他手里，那鞋匠就有正当理由来抱怨。可是你的诗，你的小说，谁跟你谈好这笔生意了?如果那是一件货真价实的商品，可是没有买主，你至多只能说你自己是个不走运的店主。如果那是凭空来的，。你有什么脸面由于它没有人高价买它而烦恼和光火呢?对于人的心灵的产品，只有—也只能有一种检验，那就是未来的一代一代人的裁判。如果你果真写出了一部伟大的作品。未来的世界会知道它的。，偏偏你不爱身后的光荣，你要舒 舒服服坐在安乐椅里享受盛名，恩，这就完全是另一回事了。 那么你就勇敢地提出你的要求吧，你得承认你是个商人，并对神和人声明，说你提供的货色比许多卖高价的质量更高。说不定你是对的，而倘若时髦人物还是不肯光顾你的货摊，哪就真是使你极其难受了。
 

1 bouts   

n.拳击（或摔跤）比赛( bout的名词复数 )；一段（工作）；（尤指坏事的）一通；（疾病的）发作

参考例句：

• For much of his life he suffered from recurrent bouts of depression. 他的大半辈子反复发作抑郁症。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• It was one of fistiana's most famous championship bouts. 这是拳击界最有名的冠军赛之一。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

2 toil   

vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事

参考例句：

• The wealth comes from the toil of the masses.财富来自大众的辛勤劳动。
• Every single grain is the result of toil.每一粒粮食都来之不易。

3 goad   

n.刺棒，刺痛物；激励；vt.激励，刺激

参考例句：

• The opposition is trying to goad the government into calling an election.在野反对党正努力激起政府提出选举。
• The writer said he needed some goad because he was indolent.这个作家说他需要刺激，因为他很懒惰。

4 gathering   

n.集会，聚会，聚集

参考例句：

• He called on Mr. White to speak at the gathering.他请怀特先生在集会上讲话。
• He is on the wing gathering material for his novels.他正忙于为他的小说收集资料。

5 forefinger   

n.食指

参考例句：

• He pinched the leaf between his thumb and forefinger.他将叶子捏在拇指和食指之间。
• He held it between the tips of his thumb and forefinger.他用他大拇指和食指尖拿着它。

6 varnish   

n.清漆；v.上清漆；粉饰

参考例句：

• He tried to varnish over the facts,but it was useless.他想粉饰事实，但那是徒劳的。
• He applied varnish to the table.他给那张桌子涂上清漆。

7 loathing   

n.厌恶，憎恨v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的现在分词)；极不喜欢

参考例句：

• She looked at her attacker with fear and loathing . 她盯着襲擊她的歹徒，既害怕又憎恨。
• They looked upon the creature with a loathing undisguised. 他们流露出明显的厌恶看那动物。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

8 dreaded   

adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The dreaded moment had finally arrived. 可怕的时刻终于来到了。
• He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital. 他害怕非得在医院过圣诞节不可。 来自《用法词典》

9 foul   

adj.污秽的；邪恶的；v.弄脏；妨害；犯规；n.犯规

参考例句：

• Take off those foul clothes and let me wash them.脱下那些脏衣服让我洗一洗。
• What a foul day it is!多么恶劣的天气！

10 rosy   

adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的

参考例句：

• She got a new job and her life looks rosy.她找到一份新工作，生活看上去很美好。
• She always takes a rosy view of life.她总是对生活持乐观态度。

11 shimmered   

v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The sea shimmered in the sunlight. 阳光下海水闪烁着微光。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• A heat haze shimmered above the fields. 田野上方微微闪烁着一层热气。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 scent   

n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉

参考例句：

• The air was filled with the scent of lilac.空气中弥漫着丁香花的芬芳。
• The flowers give off a heady scent at night.这些花晚上散发出醉人的芳香。

13 larches   

n.落叶松（木材）( larch的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Most larches have brittle branches and produce relatively few flowers on lower branches. 大多数落叶松具有脆弱的枝条，并且下部枝条开花较少。 来自辞典例句
• How many golden larches are there in the arboretum? 植物园里有几棵金钱松？ 来自互联网

14 injustice   

n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利

参考例句：

• They complained of injustice in the way they had been treated.他们抱怨受到不公平的对待。
• All his life he has been struggling against injustice.他一生都在与不公正现象作斗争。

15 immortal   

adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的

参考例句：

• The wild cocoa tree is effectively immortal.野生可可树实际上是不会死的。
• The heroes of the people are immortal!人民英雄永垂不朽！

16 cantankerous   

adj.爱争吵的，脾气不好的

参考例句：

• He met a crabbed,cantankerous director.他碰上了一位坏脾气、爱争吵的主管。
• The cantankerous bus driver rouse on the children for singing.那个坏脾气的公共汽车司机因为孩子们唱歌而骂他们。

17 decency   

n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重

参考例句：

• His sense of decency and fair play made him refuse the offer.他的正直感和公平竞争意识使他拒绝了这一提议。
• Your behaviour is an affront to public decency.你的行为有伤风化。

18 fret   

v.(使)烦恼；(使)焦急；(使)腐蚀，(使)磨损

参考例句：

• Don't fret.We'll get there on time.别着急，我们能准时到那里。
• She'll fret herself to death one of these days.她总有一天会愁死的.

19 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

20 posthumous   

adj.遗腹的；父亡后出生的；死后的，身后的

参考例句：

• He received a posthumous award for bravery.他表现勇敢，死后受到了嘉奖。
• The legendary actor received a posthumous achievement award.这位传奇男星在过世后获得终身成就奖的肯定。