美国国家公共电台 NPR StoryCorps: Processing A Mother's Suicide, 11 Years Later

 

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

RACHEL MARTIN, HOST:

It's Friday, which means¹ it's time for StoryCorps. Today we have a hard conversation. It's about suicide². Sylvia Grosvold was 5 1/2 years old when her mother died. Ten years later, she came to StoryCorps with her dad, Josh Weiner, to talk about that day.

SYLVIA GROSVOLD: I pretty clearly remember going to school. And mom would always walk me inside to the classroom. And this day, she walked me onto the playground, and then she said I could go in by myself if I wanted. And I felt so grown up. And I didn't give her a hug that day, and I didn't say goodbye. And I got into the classroom, and I immediately started crying. And I ran back out, but by that time, she was gone. I just felt so guilty³ that I hadn't given her one last hug.

JOSH WEINER: I remember getting the call from the office that she had not picked you up. In those first year or two after your mom died, I just remember feeling helpless⁴ - you know, like there's nothing I can do to fix this. Do you remember when I apologized to you for throwing away...

SYLVIA: For throwing away the note.

WEINER: Yeah.

SYLVIA: Yeah because I learned⁵ that some people write suicide notes. And I was like, where's mom's? I really wanted to read that for a long time.

WEINER: I know. And I felt really bad. But I think I was just so angry when I read that.

SYLVIA: I mean, I totally understand why you did it.

WEINER: Do you remember how when you were little, you would look up at the moon?

SYLVIA: Yeah.

WEINER: And you would say, oh, mom's up there on the moon.

SYLVIA: I had this whole story about how she lived in a city on the moon. We had that bathroom window that opened up and didn't have a screen. And you could see the moon perfectly⁶ from there, and so I'd look out the window and talk to her.

WEINER: So what would you want your mom to know about you now?

SYLVIA: I'd want her to know my personality⁷. And I would want her to know how tall I am. I'm almost taller than you, and I don't know where I get being tall from. It's not like our family is giant.

WEINER: I think she would be very proud of you. Is there anything that you've learned about yourself?

SYLVIA: I've learned a lot about death and dealing⁸ with it because I struggled with that for so long. I couldn't go to sleep. I didn't want you to leave because I was worried something would happen. But one time, I was at camp, and we were supposed to say our biggest fear. And I was, like, death. Hold up. Wait, that's not my biggest fear anymore.

WEINER: Yeah.

SYLVIA: So I guess I'm stronger than I think I am.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHRIS ZABRISKIE'S "THAT KID IN FOURTH GRADE WHO REALLY LIKED THE DENVER BRONCOS")

SYLVIA: That was Josh Wiener with his daughter, Sylvia Grosvold. Their story is part of StoryCorps's Road to Resilience Project. It uses storytelling to help kids cope⁹ with the death of a parent or loved one. If you or someone you know is in crisis¹⁰, you can call the Suicide Prevention¹¹ Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

1 means   

n.方法，手段，折中点，物质财富

参考例句：

• That man used artful means to find out secrets.那人使用狡猾的手段获取机密。
• We must get it done by some means or other.我们总得想办法把它干完。

2 suicide   

n.自杀，自毁，自杀性行为

参考例句：

• The number of suicide has increased.自杀案件的数量增加了。
• The death was adjudged a suicide by sleeping pills.该死亡事件被判定为服用安眠药自杀。

3 guilty   

adj.犯罪的；有罪的；内疚的

参考例句：

• There wasn't enough evidence to prove him guilty.没有充分的证据证明他有罪。
• Really honest people are ofter made to feel guilty.真正老实的人常被弄得感到犯了罪似的。

4 helpless   

adj.无助的，无依无靠的；不能自力的

参考例句：

• The other team was helpless and we had a real field day.对方队很弱，我们轻易取胜。
• They felt helpless to do anything about it.他们对这事感到无能为力。

5 learned   

adj.有学问的，博学的；learn的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• He went into a rage when he learned about it.他听到这事后勃然大怒。
• In this little village,he passed for a learned man.在这个小村子里，他被视为有学问的人。

6 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

7 personality   

n.个性，人格，名人

参考例句：

• Einstein was a great personality.爱因斯坦是个伟大的人物。
• She has a powerful personality.她有坚强的个性。

8 dealing   

n.经商方法，待人态度

参考例句：

• This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
• His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。

9 cope   

v.(with)竞争，对抗；对付，妥善处理

参考例句：

• He had a lot of work,but he was able to cope.他的活虽多，但还能应付得来。
• They have to cope with a mountain of problems.他们得应付成堆的问题。

10 crisis   

n.危机，危急关头，决定性时刻，关键阶段

参考例句：

• He had proved that he could be relied on in a crisis.他已表明，在紧要关头他是可以信赖的。
• The topic today centers about the crisis in the Middle East.今天课题的中心是中东危机。

11 prevention   

n.阻止，妨碍，预防

参考例句：

• They have begun to do the prevention of crime.他们已经开始防止犯罪行为。
• Prevention of forest fires is up to you.森林防火是你们的责任。