欧美人文风情第239篇:就连混球也能拯救生命

 This is a story about Coleman Sweeney. Coleman, in short, was an asshole. 这是个关于 Coleman Sweeney 的故事。Coleman，简单地说，是个混球。

Everyone in his small town knew it. It wasn't that he tried particularly hard to be unpleasant. 他镇上的每个人都知道。不是说他特别努力要惹人厌。

It just seemed to come naturally to him. 他似乎生来就是那德性。

Coleman felt like the whole world owed him something, which caused him to regularly ignore the rules of a decent, acceptable society. Coleman 觉得好像全世界都欠他，那使得他常常不管礼教社会的规范。

Wow. Really? 哇。有没有搞错？

And he hated anything that got in his way. Go! You got it. You got it. Go! Go, go! You can do it! 他讨厌任何挡他路的事物。走!你可以的。你可以的。走!走、走啊!你做得到的!

And small animals. Even to children, he was an asshole. Trick or treat! 他还讨厌小动物。连对小孩子，他都是混账。不给糖就捣蛋!

He was, as they say, born to it. But then, the strangest thing happened...something entirely¹ unexpected-Coleman Sweeney died. 他是，如人们所说，天生混账。但后来，一件最古怪的事发生了...一件完全出乎意料的事－－Coleman Sweeney 死了。

A brain aneurysm-well, subarachnoid hemorrhage to be more specific. 一颗脑动脉瘤－－嗯，更精准地说是蜘蛛膜下腔出血。

And it came as he argued over whether extra fries should be included in a 1.99 early bird breakfast, 那发生在他争辩 1.99 美元的早鸟优惠早餐是否该附薯条时，

which was a typical Coleman Sweeney play. 非常典型的 Colman Sweeney 把戏。

It was then that Sarah found something completely unexpected-Coleman Sweeney had registered to be an organ donor². 就是那时，Sarah 发现一件完全想象不到的事－－Coleman Sweeny 有申请登记成为器官捐赠者。

Nobody knew what caused Coleman to do it, but there it was...generous and majestic³. 没有人知道是什么原因让他那样做，不过事实就摆在那...慷慨又伟大。

And that was the day that Coleman went from asshole to hero. 而那就是 Coleman 从混球成为英雄的那天。

You see, his liver went to Stan, a father of two. 你瞧，他的肝给了 Stan，一名有两个孩子的父亲。

His heart went to Miranda Morgan, who went on to teach for 25 more years. 他的心脏给了 Miranda Morgan，她继续教了 25 年的书。

And his tendons went to Staff Sergeant⁴ Donohue, 而他的肌腱给了 Donohue 上士，

who was able to walk again and would never need to be pushed across the street by his physical therapist. 他又能再次行走，再也不用让物理治疗师推他过街了。

And in a moment of small world irony⁵, 讽刺的是世界就是这么小，

his corneas went to his 82-year-old next-door neighbor so that she could finally see the crap that her dog made in the side yard and pick it up. 他的眼角膜给了 82 岁的隔壁邻居，这样一来她终于看得见自己的小狗在侧院拉的屎，并把它捡起来。

Yes, in life, Coleman was a bona fide asshole, 365 days a year, 24-7. 没错，活着时，Coleman 是个不折不扣的混球，一年三百六十五天，全年无休。

But in death...well, let's just raise our middle fingers and shout, 不过死后...嗯，就让我们竖起中指大喊：

"Up yours, Coleman Sweeney! You're not an asshole...anymore." 「去你的，Coleman Sweeney!你不是混球...再也不是了。」

 

1 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

2 donor   

n.捐献者；赠送人；(组织、器官等的)供体

参考例句：

• In these cases,the recipient usually takes care of the donor afterwards.在这类情况下，接受捐献者以后通常会照顾捐赠者。
• The Doctor transplanted the donor's heart to Mike's chest cavity.医生将捐赠者的心脏移植进麦克的胸腔。

3 majestic   

adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的

参考例句：

• In the distance rose the majestic Alps.远处耸立着雄伟的阿尔卑斯山。
• He looks majestic in uniform.他穿上军装显得很威风。

4 sergeant   

n.警官，中士

参考例句：

• His elder brother is a sergeant.他哥哥是个警官。
• How many stripes are there on the sleeve of a sergeant?陆军中士的袖子上有多少条纹？

5 irony   

n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄

参考例句：

• She said to him with slight irony.她略带嘲讽地对他说。
• In her voice we could sense a certain tinge of irony.从她的声音里我们可以感到某种讥讽的意味。