生活大爆炸 第五季:第12集 伯妮抱怨生娃毁妈(下)

 And now, all the rings are magically linked together. 现在  所有环都 神奇地连起来了

My fiance's wearing a magic ring, too.It made all my money disappear. 我未婚妻也戴着一个神奇的环 把我的钱都变没了

Oh, ah, right. 哦  对

And now, the great Howdini's next miraculous¹ illusion. 现在请看  奇妙霍迪尼的 下一个神奇幻术 (昵称来自大魔术师胡迪尼)

When are we gonna have cake? 我们什么时候能吃蛋糕

After you've been thoroughly² amazed. 等你们完全被惊叹之后

But we want cake now. 我们现在就想吃

Well, you're not getting cake right now, capisce? 现在不给你们吃  懂了没

Okay. Okay. 好了好了

Now, my lovely assistant is going to bring me an ordinary pitcher³ of milk. 现在  我可爱的助手将递给我 一大罐普通的牛奶

I know how you do that trick. 我知道这个魔术是怎么变的

Do you know how to pipe down? 那你知道怎么把嘴闭上吗

Okay, we're going to roll up this newspaper. 好了  现在我要把 这张报纸卷起来

It's a fake pitcher. 那个牛奶罐是假的

You got wax in your ears?The man said it's an ordinary pitcher. 你耳朵被耳屎堵上了是吗 这男人都说了这是个普通的罐子

Howdini. 霍迪尼

Okay, we're going to stick this in here.And then I'm going to pour in the milk.I hope this works,because I didn't bring a change of pants. 好的  现在我要把报纸塞进这里然后把牛奶倒进去 但愿这个魔术会成功 我可没带多余的裤子来换

Look, I Googled it.It's a fake pitcher. 你看  我谷歌过了 那就是个假罐子

That's it.No cake for you.Anyone else want to join the No Cake Club? 够了你今天没蛋糕吃了 还有谁也不想吃蛋糕的

She's just kidding, boys and girls.Everyone gets cake. 她只是开玩笑而已的  孩子们 每个人都有蛋糕吃

Not him. 他不许

Just give me the pitcher. 把罐子给我

Behold⁴! 看好啦

Wrong pitcher. 带错罐子了

I told you I'm not good with kids. 我就说我跟小孩处不好嘛

Yes, you did. 的确

Oh, I think my crotch is starting to curdle⁵. 我的裤裆好像开始结乳块了

The thing is, my mother worked fulltime.I had to take care of my brothers and sisters. 是这样的  小时候我妈工作忙 弟弟妹妹们都是由我照顾

Yeah, so? 所以呢

Ugh, it was horrible!With their snotty noses and their poopy diapers and their little shrieky voices, always complaining. 那简直糟透了 又得给他们擦鼻涕  又得换尿布整天听着他们扯着嗓子抱怨

I don't want to get dressed.Joey keeps spitting in my mouth.This isn't the way Mom makes waffles.Well, okay, put your hand in here.Let's see how you like this waffle! 我不想穿衣服 乔伊老是往我嘴里吐口水 妈妈不是这样做华夫饼的 好吧  那你就把手放进烤饼机里 看你喜不喜欢这焦手饼

All right, settle down.Red light.Red light, red light!Okay, we're fine. 好了  冷静点红灯 红灯  红灯 没事儿  没撞

I'm sorry.I know it makes me sound like a bad person,but I just don't like children. 对不起 我知道这话会让我听起来像是个恶人 但我真的不喜欢小孩

Yeah, no, we all got that. 不  这点我们都心知肚明

But don't you think it'll be different when the child is ours? 但是你不觉得如果是亲生的孩子 情况就会不一样了吗

Right, when it's our kid that's ruined my body and kept me up all night and I've got no career and no future and nothing to be happy about for the next 20 years,sure, that'll be completely different. 是啊  等咱们的孩子毁了我的体型 吵着我睡不了觉  害得我没工作没前途 而且在未来的二十年里毫无幸福可言 情况当然是不一样了

Well, yeah. 是啊

I don't think there's anything in this jewelry⁶ store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier we were just looking at at Sears. 这间珠宝店里的任何一件珠宝 都不可能比刚才 看的那台增湿器更让艾米满心欢喜了

Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff. 天啊  我算是知道我说傻话时 你的感受了

Ooh, a pocket watch. 怀表

Okay, I don't think Amy wants a pocket watch. 好吧  我不认为艾米会喜欢怀表

No, but maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch. 也许不会  但也许她会喜欢戴怀表的男人

Still saying stupid stuff. 还在说傻话

Does she like bracelets⁷? 她喜欢手镯吗

Well, she's very fond of her silver one that says "Allergic⁸ to penicillin⁹." 她很喜欢她那个刻着 青霉素过敏的银手镯

Maybe they have a dressier version of that? 没准他们这有差不多但是更讲究点的

Well, how are we doing this afternoon?Are we looking for anything special? Perhaps a ring for the lady? 下午好呀 你们有什么特别的需要吗 没准给这位美女买个戒指

Trust me, we are not a couple. 拜托  我们才不是情侣

Excuse me. I don't see why you get to snort derisively¹⁰ and point that out.You'd be lucky to land a fella like me. 不好意思 该嗤之以鼻的是我吧  哪轮得到你 你要是泡到我这样的男人  得谢天谢地了

Fine, go ahead. 好吧  你说

Trust me, we are not a couple. 拜托  我们才不是情侣

My apologies. How can I help you today? 抱歉  有什么可以帮到二位的吗

He's in trouble with his girlfriend and needs to buy her a present. 他跟他女朋友吵架了 所以想给她买个礼物

Great, trouble with girlfriends is what's putting my daughter through USC. 好的  就是靠着男人买道歉礼物 我才供得起我女儿读大学的

Ooh, are these real diamonds? 这是真的钻石吗

Yes. Channel set baguettes, 20 points total weight. 是的  槽镶长钻  总重二十分(一克拉等于一百分)

Remarkable¹¹.Diamonds, crystallized carbon. Every day, people go to the grocery store and come home with sacks full of carbon in the form of charcoal¹² briquettes that they toss in their barbeques and set on fire. 真神奇 钻石  不过就是结晶状的碳而已 人们每天去杂货店 买回家的也是碳 只不过是被人丢进烤炉 当火源的炭块

But just because you've got some carbon with the atoms stacked neatly,you expect me to plunk down thousands of dollars. 可你这只不过有几块 分子排列整齐的碳 你就指望我扔下几千美金来买

Actually, that's only 750.Everything's on sale. 实际上售价只有七百五十美金而已 所有商品都打折

Really. Talk to me about that pocket watch. 真的吗  给我介绍一下那块怀表吧

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it.I always thought I'd be a dad someday. 我还在琢磨那件事呢 我一直觉得我某天会当上爸爸的

Oh, me, too.You're so caring.I've often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood. 我也这么觉得 你好有爱 我脑海常浮现你把男孩抚育成男人的画面

There you go, Howard.Sounds like Raj'll have your babies; problem solved. 太好了  霍华德 看来拉杰会替你生孩子的  问题解决了

Hey, just because a man shows caring for another man doesn't mean he's displaying the love that dare not speak its name. 一个男人对另一个男人表示关心 并不意味着是在向他表达 那种禁忌之爱

Did she definitely say she didn't want kids? 她明确说了不想要孩子吗

Yeah, she doesn't like them. 是啊  她十分不喜欢孩子

And from what I saw, the feeling was mutual¹³. 据我看来  孩子们也不喜欢她

What are you gonna do? 你打算怎么办

I don't know.I can't see a life where I don't have kids. 我不知道 我无法想象没有孩子的人生

I mean, people have kids.I mean, even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong Jr. 谁都有孩子啊 就连大金刚都有个娃  小大金刚

So he could teach someone how to kidnap princesses and throw barrels at Italian plumbers¹⁴. 有个孩子能让他教导如何绑架公主(皆为经典任天堂游戏角色) 和怎么朝那意大利籍水管工丢木桶 (皆为大金刚经典游戏内容 绑架公主与朝水管工马里奥丢木桶)

You know, there's no guarantee even if you have kids that you're going to like them. 但即使你有了孩子  也无法保证 你就一定会喜欢他们啊

Wow, that's rough. Where'd you get that? 太可怕了  你从哪得来这感触的

It's right off the dust jacket of my mom's last book. 我妈最新着作封面上就写了这句话

Maybe me and Bernadette aren't right for each other. 或许我和伯纳黛特不合适

Look, Howard, I'd say there's a lot of fish in the sea,but I watched you dangle¹⁵ your hook in the water for years. Do not throw her back. 霍华德  虽说海大何患无鱼 可我看着你晃着鱼钩钓了这么多年 千万别放鱼归海啊

I don't want to, but this is kind of a deal breaker. 我也不想啊  可这事太破坏感情

What's your mom going to say if you call off the wedding? 要是你妈知道你想取消婚礼会如何

Oh, it'll kill her.On the other hand, if I don't give her grandchildren, that'll kill her, too.So, either way, on the Mom front, I'm golden. 她会气死的 但反过来说  她要知道以后没孙子抱 也会气死的 不管怎么说  我妈会被气死这事我很有信心

What time did you tell Amy to be here? 你跟艾米说让她几点来

8:00 八点

Sheldon, that pocket watch is ridiculous. 谢尔顿  你那挂表太可笑了

Nonsense.I look like a train conductor. 胡说 我戴着就像列车长

Under what pretext¹⁶ did you lure¹⁷ her here? 你用什么借口引诱她过来的

I said, "Hey, want to come over and hang out?" 我说  想过来坐坐聊聊吗

Good, good, if you had said something clever,she might've gotten suspicious. 很好  你要说了什么有深度的理由 她可能就起疑心了的

What's he doing here? 他在这干嘛

Okay, he wants to talk to you. 他想跟你谈谈

Well, I don't want to talk to him. 可我不想跟他谈

And I'm pretty disappointed in you, too. 现在我对你也很失望了

Although we both know that won't last. 虽然我也气不了你多久

Sheldon, you're up. 谢尔顿  该你了

Thank you. 谢谢

Amy, I'd like to apologize. 艾米  我想跟你道歉

Your accomplishment¹⁸ was impressive. 你的成就非常惊人

And I'm proud of you. 我以你为荣

We both know that's your koala face. 

I told you. 你用考拉脸想糊弄谁啊  你看吧

Okay, look, he bought you this. 他给你买了礼物

Jewelry?Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow,selfcentered person I have ever met.Do you really think another transparently¹⁹ manipul... 送我珠宝 真的假的 谢尔顿  你是我见过最肤浅 最自我中心的人 你真的以为你想操纵...

Oh, it's a tiara! A tiara! I have a tiara! 是个皇冠 皇冠  我有了个皇冠

Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me. undefined

You look beautiful. 给我戴上  快给我戴上  给我戴上 给我戴上戴上戴上 戴着真漂亮

Of course I do, I'm a princess, and this is my tiara! 当然漂亮  我是公主  这是我的皇冠

You were right, the tiara was too much. 你说得对  送皇冠太过了

Howard! Bernadette's... 霍华德  伯纳黛特到...

Oh, she slipped right by me. 她从我身边溜过去了

Here's your vest back. 我来还你的背心

You should keep it.You could wear it again sometime. 你留着吧 以后说不定还有机会穿呢

Where? 去哪穿啊

I don't know, hunting? 不知道  去打猎的时候吧

Don't forget to talk to her about this mishegas where I don't get grandkids! 别忘了跟她谈谈那件疯狂的事 就是我抱不上孙儿的事

Don't worry, Ma.I will, as soon as I can figure out a way to bring up such a sensitive issue! 别担心  老妈 我会的  只要我想出怎么 跟她提出这个敏感问题

I guess you talked to your mom, huh? 看来你告诉你妈妈了

I was upset. My mom can be a pretty good shoulder to cry on,if the smell of Bengay doesn't burn your eyes. 我当时很伤心嘛 我妈强壮的臂弯还是挺适合靠着哭泣的 忽略她灼伤人眼的镇痛剂味道就行了

Look, it's obvious having kids is really important to you,and I think I came up with a solution. 显然  要孩子这事对你很重要 我想出了一个办法

Really? That's great. What? 真的吗 太好了  是什么

Well, seeing as how I make way more money than you anyway, what if I work and you stay home with the kids? 既然我赚的钱比你多得多 让我工作而你在家照顾孩子怎样

Me? 我

Yeah.You know, you'll watch Barneyand pull Cheerios out of their noses and go on play dates,and I'll work and have conversations with people my own age and enjoy my life. 对啊 陪孩子看儿童节目《小恐龙巴尼》 帮他们把卡鼻子里的麦片抠出来 然后带他们去跟其他孩子玩耍 而我出去工作  跟我们的同龄人 一起聊天  享受我的人生

Yeah... 好啊

Yay, so we're good. 太好了  问题解决了

Yeah, we're good. 对  没问题了

You know, I don't know if this counted as a fight,but how about some makeup²⁰ sex? 我不知道这次算不算吵架 不过想要来个吵后滚床单吗

I would love that. 我喜欢

But what is that behind your ear? Oh, look, it's a condom. 不过你耳朵后面是什么啊 哇  是个安全套

 

1 miraculous   

adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的

参考例句：

• The wounded man made a miraculous recovery.伤员奇迹般地痊愈了。
• They won a miraculous victory over much stronger enemy.他们战胜了远比自己强大的敌人，赢得了非凡的胜利。

2 thoroughly   

adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地

参考例句：

• The soil must be thoroughly turned over before planting.一定要先把土地深翻一遍再下种。
• The soldiers have been thoroughly instructed in the care of their weapons.士兵们都系统地接受过保护武器的训练。

3 pitcher   

n.(有嘴和柄的)大水罐；(棒球)投手

参考例句：

• He poured the milk out of the pitcher.他从大罐中倒出牛奶。
• Any pitcher is liable to crack during a tight game.任何投手在紧张的比赛中都可能会失常。

4 behold   

v.看，注视，看到

参考例句：

• The industry of these little ants is wonderful to behold.这些小蚂蚁辛勤劳动的样子看上去真令人惊叹。
• The sunrise at the seaside was quite a sight to behold.海滨日出真是个奇景。

5 curdle   

v.使凝结，变稠

参考例句：

• The sauce should not boil or the egg yolk will curdle.调味汁不能煮沸，不然蛋黄会凝结的。
• The sight made my blood curdle.那景象使我不寒而栗。

6 jewelry   

n.（jewllery）（总称）珠宝

参考例句：

• The burglars walked off with all my jewelry.夜盗偷走了我的全部珠宝。
• Jewelry and lace are mostly feminine belongings.珠宝和花边多数是女性用品。

7 bracelets   

n.手镯，臂镯( bracelet的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The lamplight struck a gleam from her bracelets. 她的手镯在灯光的照射下闪闪发亮。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• On display are earrings, necklaces and bracelets made from jade, amber and amethyst. 展出的有用玉石、琥珀和紫水晶做的耳环、项链和手镯。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 allergic   

adj.过敏的，变态的

参考例句：

• Alice is allergic to the fur of cats.艾丽斯对猫的皮毛过敏。
• Many people are allergic to airborne pollutants such as pollen.许多人对空气传播的污染物过敏，比如花粉。

9 penicillin   

n.青霉素，盘尼西林

参考例句：

• I should have asked him for a shot of penicillin.我应当让他给我打一针青霉素的。
• Penicillin was an extremely significant medical discovery.青霉素是极其重要的医学发现。

10 derisively   

adv. 嘲笑地，嘲弄地

参考例句：

• This answer came derisively from several places at the same instant. 好几个人都不约而同地以讥讽的口吻作出回答。
• The others laughed derisively. 其余的人不以为然地笑了起来。

11 remarkable   

adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的

参考例句：

• She has made remarkable headway in her writing skills.她在写作技巧方面有了长足进步。
• These cars are remarkable for the quietness of their engines.这些汽车因发动机没有噪音而不同凡响。

12 charcoal   

n.炭，木炭，生物炭

参考例句：

• We need to get some more charcoal for the barbecue.我们烧烤需要更多的碳。
• Charcoal is used to filter water.木炭是用来过滤水的。

13 mutual   

adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的

参考例句：

• We must pull together for mutual interest.我们必须为相互的利益而通力合作。
• Mutual interests tied us together.相互的利害关系把我们联系在一起。

14 plumbers   

n.管子工，水暖工( plumber的名词复数 )；[美][口]（防止泄密的）堵漏人员

参考例句：

• Plumbers charge by the hour for their work. 水管工人的工作是以小时收费的。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Plumbers, carpenters, and other workmen finished the new house quickly. 管道工、木工及其他工匠很快完成了这幢新房子。 来自辞典例句

15 dangle   

v.(使)悬荡，(使)悬垂

参考例句：

• At Christmas,we dangle colored lights around the room.圣诞节时，我们在房间里挂上彩灯。
• He sits on the edge of the table and dangles his legs.他坐在桌子边上，摆动著双腿。

16 pretext   

n.借口，托词

参考例句：

• He used his headache as a pretext for not going to school.他借口头疼而不去上学。
• He didn't attend that meeting under the pretext of sickness.他以生病为借口，没参加那个会议。

17 lure   

n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引

参考例句：

• Life in big cities is a lure for many country boys.大城市的生活吸引着许多乡下小伙子。
• He couldn't resist the lure of money.他不能抵制金钱的诱惑。

18 accomplishment   

n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能

参考例句：

• The series of paintings is quite an accomplishment.这一系列的绘画真是了不起的成就。
• Money will be crucial to the accomplishment of our objectives.要实现我们的目标，钱是至关重要的。

19 transparently   

明亮地，显然地，易觉察地

参考例句：

• "Clearly plots,'said Jacques Three. "Transparently!" “显然是搞阴谋，”雅克三号说，“再清楚不过了。” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
• All design transparently, convenient for the file identification inside the bag. 全透明设计，方便袋内文件识别。

20 makeup   

n.组织；性格；化装品

参考例句：

• Those who failed the exam take a makeup exam.这次考试不及格的人必须参加补考。
• Do you think her beauty could makeup for her stupidity?你认为她的美丽能弥补她的愚蠢吗？