1-31

 

31.

I’d often say it to myself first thing in the morning: Maybe this is the day.

I’d say it after breakfast: Maybe she’s going to reappear this morning.

I’d say it after lunch: Maybe she’s going to reappear this afternoon.

It had been four years, after all. Surely she’d established herself by now, forged a new life, anew identity. Maybe, at long last, she’s going to emerge today, hold a press conference—shockthe world. After answering the shouted questions from the astonished reporters, she’d lean into themicrophone: William! Harry¹! If you can hear me, come to me!

At night I had the most elaborate dreams. They were essentially² the same, though the scenariosand costumes were slightly different. Sometimes she’d orchestrate a triumphant³ return; other timesI’d simply bump into her somewhere. A street corner. A shop. She was always wearing a disguise—a big blond wig⁴. Or big black sunglasses. And yet I’d always recognize her.

I’d step forward, whisper: Mummy? Is it you?

Before she could answer, before I could find out where she’d been, why she hadn’t come back,I’d snap awake.

I’d look around the room, feeling the crushing disappointment.

Only a dream. Again.

But then I’d tell myself: Maybe that means…today’s the day?

I was like those religious fanatics⁵ who believe the world will end on such and such a date. Andwhen the date passes uneventfully, their faith remains⁶ undaunted.

I must’ve misread the signs. Or the calendar.

I suppose I knew the truth deep in my heart. The illusion of Mummy hiding, preparing toreturn, was never so real that it could blot⁷ out reality entirely⁸. But it blotted⁹ it out enough that Iwas able to postpone¹⁰ the bulk of my grief. I still hadn’t mourned, still hadn’t cried, except that onetime at her grave, still hadn’t processed the bare facts. Part of my brain knew, but part of it waswholly insulated, and the division between those two parts kept the parliament of myconsciousness divided, polarized, gridlocked. Just as I wanted it.

Sometimes I’d have a stern talk with myself. Everyone else seems to believe that Mummy isdead, full stop, so maybe you should get on board.

But then I’d think: I’ll believe it when I have proof.

With solid proof, I thought, I could properly mourn and cry and move on.

 

1 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

2 essentially   

adv.本质上，实质上，基本上

参考例句：

• Really great men are essentially modest.真正的伟人大都很谦虚。
• She is an essentially selfish person.她本质上是个自私自利的人。

3 triumphant   

adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的

参考例句：

• The army made a triumphant entry into the enemy's capital.部队胜利地进入了敌方首都。
• There was a positively triumphant note in her voice.她的声音里带有一种极为得意的语气。

4 wig   

n.假发

参考例句：

• The actress wore a black wig over her blond hair.那个女演员戴一顶黑色假发罩住自己的金黄色头发。
• He disguised himself with a wig and false beard.他用假发和假胡须来乔装。

5 fanatics   

狂热者，入迷者( fanatic的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The heathen temple was torn down by a crowd of religions fanatics. 异教徒的神殿被一群宗教狂热分子拆除了。
• Placing nukes in the hands of baby-faced fanatics? 把核弹交给一些宗教狂热者手里？

6 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。

7 blot   

vt.弄脏（用吸墨纸）吸干；n.污点，污渍

参考例句：

• That new factory is a blot on the landscape.那新建的工厂破坏了此地的景色。
• The crime he committed is a blot on his record.他犯的罪是他的履历中的一个污点。

8 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

9 blotted   

涂污( blot的过去式和过去分词 )； （用吸墨纸）吸干

参考例句：

• She blotted water off the table with a towel. 她用毛巾擦干桌上的水。
• The blizzard blotted out the sky and the land. 暴风雪铺天盖地而来。

10 postpone   

v.延期，推迟

参考例句：

• I shall postpone making a decision till I learn full particulars.在未获悉详情之前我得从缓作出决定。
• She decided to postpone the converastion for that evening.她决定当天晚上把谈话搁一搁。