3-1

 

part 3 captain of my soul

1.

I was sitting around Nott Cott, scrolling¹ through Instagram. In my feed I saw a video: My friendViolet. And a young woman.

They were playing with a new app that put silly filters on your photos. Violet and the womanhad dog ears, dog noses, long red dog tongues hanging out.

Despite the canine² cartoon overlay, I sat up straighter.

This woman with Violet…my God.

I watched the video several times, then forced myself to put down the phone.

Then picked it up again, watched the video again.

I’d traveled the world, from top to bottom, literally³. I’d hopscotched the continents. I’d methundreds of thousands of people, I’d crossed paths with a ludicrously large cross-section of theplanet’s seven billion residents. For thirty-two years I’d watched a conveyor-belt of faces pass byand only a handful ever made me look twice. This woman stopped the conveyor-belt. This womansmashed the conveyor-belt to bits.

I’d never seen anyone so beautiful.

Why should beauty feel like a punch in the throat? Does it have something to do with ourinnate human longing⁴ for order? Isn’t that what scientists say? And artists? That beauty issymmetry and therefore represents a relief from the chaos⁵? Certainly my life to that point had beenchaotic. I can’t deny hungering for order, can’t deny seeking a bit of beauty. I’d just come backfrom a trip with Pa, Willy and Kate to France, where we’d marked the anniversary of the Battle ofthe Somme, honored the British dead, and I’d read a haunting poem, “Before Action.” It waspublished by a soldier two days before he’d died in action. It ended: Help me to die, O Lord.

Reading it out, I realized I didn’t want to die. I wanted to live.

A fairly staggering revelation for me just then.

But this woman’s beauty, and my response to it, wasn’t based merely on symmetry. There wasan energy about her, a wild joy and playfulness. There was something in the way she smiled, theway she interacted with Violet, the way she gazed into the camera. Confident. Free. She believedlife was one grand adventure, I could see that. What a privilege it would be, I thought, to join heron that journey.

I got all of that from her face. Her luminous⁶, angelic face. I’d never had a firm opinion on thatburning question: Is there just one person on this earth for each of us? But in that moment I feltthere might be only one face for me.

This one.

I sent Violet a message. Who…is…this…woman?

She answered straightaway. Yeah, I’ve had six other guys ask me.

Great, I thought.

Who is she, Violet?

Actress. She’s in a TV show called Suits.

It was a drama about lawyers; the woman played a young paralegal.

American?

Yeah.

What’s she doing in London?

Here for the tennis.

What’s she doing at Ralph Lauren?

Violet worked for Ralph Lauren.

She’s doing a fitting. I can connect you guys, if you like.

Um, yes. Please?

Violet asked if it would be all right to give the young woman, the American, my Instagramhandle.

Of course.

It was Friday, July 1. I was due to leave London the next morning, heading to the home of SirKeith Mills. I was to take part in a sailing race on Sir Keith’s yacht, around the Isle⁷ of Wight. Justas I was stuffing the last few things into my overnight bag I glanced at my phone.

A message on Instagram.

From the woman.

The American.

Hello!

She said she’d got my info from Violet. She complimented my Instagram page. Beautifulphotographs.

Thank you.

It was mostly photos of Africa. I knew she’d been there, because I’d studied her Instagrampage too; I’d seen photos of her hanging out with gorillas⁸ in Rwanda.

She said she’d done some aid work there as well. With children. We shared thoughts aboutAfrica, photography, travel.

Eventually we exchanged phone numbers, and migrated the conversation over to text, goinglate into the night. In the morning I moved from Nott Cott to the car, without a pause in thetexting. I texted with her throughout the long drive to Sir Keith’s place, continued through SirKeith’s hall—How you doing, Sir Keith?—and up the stairs and into his guestroom, where Ilocked the door and remained holed up, texting. I sat on the bed texting like a teenager until it wastime to have dinner with Sir Keith and his family. Then, after dessert, I quickly returned to theguestroom and resumed texting.

I couldn’t type fast enough. My thumbs were cramping⁹. There was so much to say, we had somuch in common, though we came from such different worlds. She was American, I was British.

She was well-educated, I was decidedly not. She was free as a bird, I was in a gilded¹⁰ cage. And yetnone of these differences felt disqualifying or even important. On the contrary, they felt organic,energizing. The contradictions created a sense of:

Hey…I know you.

But also: I need to know you.

Hey, I’ve known you forever.

But also: I’ve been searching for you forever.

Hey, thank God you’ve arrived.

But also: What took you so long?

Sir Keith’s guestroom looked out onto an estuary¹¹. Many times, mid-text, I’d walk over to thewindow and gaze out. The view made me think of the Okavango. It made me think also of destiny,and serendipity¹². That convergence of river and sea, land and sky reinforced a vague sense of bigthings coming together.

It occurred to me how uncanny, how surreal, how bizarre, that this marathon conversationshould have begun on July 1, 2016.

My mother’s fifty-fifth birthday.

Late into the night, while waiting for her next text, I’d tap the American’s name into Google.

Hundreds of photos, each more dazzling. I wondered if she was googling me too. I hoped not.

Before turning out the light I asked how long she was going to be in London. Damn—she wasleaving soon. She had to get back to Canada to resume filming her show.

I asked if I could see her before she left.

I watched the phone, waiting for the answer, staring at the endlessly fluttering ellipsis¹³.

…

Then: Sure!

Great. Now: Where to meet?

I suggested my place.

Your place? On a first date! I don’t think so.

No, I didn’t mean it like that.

She didn’t realize that being royal meant being radioactive, that I was unable to just meet at acoffee shop or pub. Reluctant to give her a full explanation, I tried to explain obliquely¹⁴ about therisk of being seen. I didn’t do a good job.

She suggested an alternative. Soho House at 76 Dean Street. It was her headquarters whenevershe came to London. She’d reserve us a table in a quiet room.

No one else would be around.

The table would be under her name.

Meghan Markle.

 

1 scrolling   

n.卷[滚]动法，上下换行v.（电脑屏幕上）从上到下移动（资料等），卷页( scroll的现在分词 )；（似卷轴般）卷起；（像展开卷轴般地）将文字显示于屏幕

参考例句：

• Another important detail required by auto-scrolling is a time delay. 自动滚屏需要的另一个重要细节是时间延迟。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
• In 2D visualization and drawing applications, vertical and horizontal scrolling are common. 在二维的可视化及绘图应用中，垂直和水平滚动非常普遍。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓

2 canine   

adj.犬的，犬科的

参考例句：

• The fox is a canine animal.狐狸是犬科动物。
• Herbivorous animals have very small canine teeth,or none.食草动物的犬牙很小或者没有。

3 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

4 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

5 chaos   

n.混乱，无秩序

参考例句：

• After the failure of electricity supply the city was in chaos.停电后，城市一片混乱。
• The typhoon left chaos behind it.台风后一片混乱。

6 luminous   

adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的

参考例句：

• There are luminous knobs on all the doors in my house.我家所有门上都安有夜光把手。
• Most clocks and watches in this shop are in luminous paint.这家商店出售的大多数钟表都涂了发光漆。

7 isle   

n.小岛，岛

参考例句：

• He is from the Isle of Man in the Irish Sea.他来自爱尔兰海的马恩岛。
• The boat left for the paradise isle of Bali.小船驶向天堂一般的巴厘岛。

8 gorillas   

n.大猩猩( gorilla的名词复数 )；暴徒，打手

参考例句：

• the similitude between humans and gorillas 人类和大猩猩的相像
• Each family of gorillas is led by a great silverbacked patriarch. 每个大星星家族都由一个魁梧的、长着银色被毛的族长带领着。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 cramping   

图像压缩

参考例句：

• The bleeding may keep my left hand from cramping. 淌血会叫我的左手不抽筋。
• This loss of sodium can cause dehydration and cramping. 钠流失会造成脱水和抽筋。

10 gilded   

a.镀金的，富有的

参考例句：

• The golden light gilded the sea. 金色的阳光使大海如金子般闪闪发光。
• "Friends, they are only gilded disks of lead!" "朋友们，这只不过是些镀金的铅饼！ 来自英汉文学 - 败坏赫德莱堡

11 estuary   

n.河口，江口

参考例句：

• We live near the Thames estuary.我们的住处靠近泰晤士河入海口。
• The ship has touched bottom.The estuary must be shallower than we thought.船搁浅了。这河口的水比我们想像的要浅。

12 serendipity   

n.偶然发现物品之才能；意外新发现

参考例句：

• "It was serendipity all the way,"he says.用他的话说是“一直都很走运”。
• Some of the best effects in my garden have been the result of serendipity.我园子里最珍贵的几件物品是机缘巧合之下意外所得。

13 ellipsis   

n.省略符号，省略(语法结构上的)

参考例句：

• In this textbook we will tolerate a certain amount of ellipsis.在这本书中我们允许一些简化。
• There is an ellipsis of "that" in that sentence.那个句子省略了"that"。

14 obliquely   

adv.斜； 倾斜； 间接； 不光明正大

参考例句：

• From the gateway two paths led obliquely across the court. 从门口那儿，有两条小路斜越过院子。 来自辞典例句
• He was receding obliquely with a curious hurrying gait. 他歪着身子，古怪而急促地迈着步子，往后退去。 来自辞典例句