【断背山】10

 “Hell yes, I been. Where’s the fuckin problem?” Braced¹ for it all these yearsand here it came, late and unexpected. 

   “I got a say this to you one time, Jack², and I ain’t foolin. What I don’t know,”said Ennis, 

   “all them things I don’t know could get you killed if I shouldcome to know them.”        “Try this one,” said Jack, 

   “and I’ll say it just one time. Tell you what, wecould a had a good life together, a fuckin real good life. You wouldn’t do it,Ennis, so what we got now is Brokeback Mountain. Everthing built on that.It’s all we got, boy, fuckin all, so I hope you know that if you don’t neverknow the rest. Count the damn few times we been together in twenty years.Measure the fuckin short leash³ you keep me on, then ask me about Mexicoand then tell me you’ll kill me for needin it and not hardly never gettin it. Yougot no fuckin idea how bad it gets. I’m not you. I can’t make it on a couple ahigh-altitude fucks once or twice a year. You’re too much for me, Ennis, youson of a whoreson bitch. I wish I knew how to quit you.”Like vast clouds of steam from thermal⁴ springs in winter the years of thingsunsaid and now unsayable -- admissions, declarations, shames, guilts, fears-- rose around them. Ennis stood as if heart-shot, face grey and deep-lined,grimacing, eyes screwed shut, fists clenched⁶, legs caving, hit the ground onhis knees. 

   “Jesus,” said Jack. 

   “Ennis?” But before he was out of the truck, trying to guessif it was heart attack or the overflow⁷ of an incendiary rage, Ennis was back onhis feet and somehow, as a coat hanger⁸ is straightened to open a locked carand then bent⁹ again to its original shape, they torqued things almost to wherethey had been, for what they’d said was no news. Nothing ended, nothingbegun, nothing resolved. 

   What Jack remembered and craved¹⁰ in a way he could neither help norunderstand was the time that distant summer on Brokeback when Ennis hadcome up behind him and pulled him close, the silent embrace satisfying someshared and sexless hunger.They had stood that way for a long time in front of the fire, its burning tossingruddy chunks¹¹ of light, the shadow of their bodies a single column against therock. The minutes ticked by from the round watch in Ennis’s pocket, from thesticks in the fire settling into coals. Stars bit through the wavy¹² heat layersabove the fire.(在交相辉映的星光与火光中)  Ennis’s breath came slow and quiet, he hummed, rocked a littlein the sparklight and Jack leaned against the steady heartbeat, the vibrationsof the humming like faint electricity and, standing¹³, he fell into sleep that wasnot sleep but something else drowsy¹⁴ and tranced until Ennis, dredging up arusty but still useable phrase from the childhood time before his mother died,said,  “Time to hit the hay, cowboy. I got a go. Come on, you’re sleepin on yourfeet like a horse,” and gave Jack a shake, a push, and went off in the darkness.Jack heard his spurs tremble as he mounted, the words “see you tomorrow,”and the horse’s shuddering¹⁵ snort, grind of hoof¹⁶ on stone. (他们在篝火前静立良久，红彤彤的火焰摇曳着，把他俩的影子投在石头上，浑然一体，宛如石柱。只听得埃尼斯口袋里的怀表滴答作响，只见火堆里的木头渐渐燃成木炭。在交相辉映的星光与火光中，埃尼斯的呼吸平静而绵长，嘴里轻轻哼着什么。杰克靠在他的怀里，听着那稳定有力的心跳。这心跳仿佛一道微弱的电流，令他似梦非梦，如痴如醉。直到埃尼斯用从前母亲对自己说话时常用的那种轻柔语调叫醒了他：“我得走了，牛仔。你站着睡觉的样子好像一匹马。”说着摇了摇他，便消失在黑暗之中。杰克只听到他颤抖着说了声“明儿见”，然后就听到了马儿打响鼻的声音和马蹄得得远去之声。) 

   Later, that dozy¹⁷ embrace solidified¹⁸ in his memory as the single moment ofartless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives. Nothing marred¹⁹ it, even the knowledge that Ennis would not then embrace him face toface because he did not want to see nor feel that it was Jack he held. Andmaybe, he thought, they’d never got much farther than that. Let be, let be .

   Ennis didn’t know about the accident for months until his postcard to Jacksaying that November still looked like the first chance came back stampedDECEASED. He called Jack’s number in Childress, something he had doneonly once before when Alma divorced him and Jack had misunderstood thereason for the call, had driven twelve hundred miles north for nothing. Thiswould be all right, Jack would answer, had to answer. But he did not. It wasLureen and she said who? who is this? and when he told her again she saidin a level voice yes, Jack was pumping up a flat on the truck out on a backroad when the tire blew up. The bead²⁰ was damaged somehow and the force ofthe explosion slammed the rim⁵ into his face, broke his nose and jaw²¹ andknocked him unconscious on his back. By the time someone came along hehad drowned in his own blood.No, he thought, they got him with the tire iron. 

   “Jack used to mention you,” she said. 

   “You’re the fishing buddy²² or thehunting buddy, I know that. Would have let you know,” she said, 

   “but Iwasn’t sure about your name and address. Jack kept most a his friends’addresses in his head. It was a terrible thing. He was only thirty-nine years old.”The huge sadness of the northern plains rolled down on him. He didn’t know which way it was, the tire iron or a real accident, blood choking down Jack’sthroat and nobody to turn him over. Under the wind drone he heard steel slamming off bone, the hollow chatter²³ of a settling tire rim. 

   “He buried down there?” He wanted to curse her for letting Jack die on thedirt road.The little Texas voice came slip-sliding down the wire. 

   “We put a stone up.He use to say he wanted to be cremated²⁴, ashes scattered²⁵ on Brokeback Mountain. I didn’t know where that was. So he was cremated, like he wanted,and like I say, half his ashes was interred²⁶ here, and the rest I sent up to hisfolks. I thought Brokeback Mountain was around where he grew up. But knowing Jack, it might be some pretend place where the bluebirds sing and there’s a whiskey spring.” 

1 braced   

adj.拉牢的v.支住( brace的过去式和过去分词 )；撑牢；使自己站稳；振作起来

参考例句：

• They braced up the old house with balks of timber. 他们用梁木加固旧房子。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The house has a wooden frame which is braced with brick. 这幢房子是木结构的砖瓦房。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 jack   

n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克

参考例句：

• I am looking for the headphone jack.我正在找寻头戴式耳机插孔。
• He lifted the car with a jack to change the flat tyre.他用千斤顶把车顶起来换下瘪轮胎。

3 leash   

n.牵狗的皮带，束缚；v.用皮带系住

参考例句：

• I reached for the leash,but the dog got in between.我伸手去拿系狗绳，但被狗挡住了路。
• The dog strains at the leash,eager to be off.狗拼命地扯拉皮带，想挣脱开去。

4 thermal   

adj.热的，由热造成的；保暖的

参考例句：

• They will build another thermal power station.他们要另外建一座热能发电站。
• Volcanic activity has created thermal springs and boiling mud pools.火山活动产生了温泉和沸腾的泥浆池。

5 rim   

n.(圆物的)边，轮缘；边界

参考例句：

• The water was even with the rim of the basin.盆里的水与盆边平齐了。
• She looked at him over the rim of her glass.她的目光越过玻璃杯的边沿看着他。

6 clenched   

v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He clenched his fists in anger. 他愤怒地攥紧了拳头。
• She clenched her hands in her lap to hide their trembling. 她攥紧双手放在腿上，以掩饰其颤抖。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 overflow   

v.(使)外溢，(使)溢出；溢出，流出，漫出

参考例句：

• The overflow from the bath ran on to the floor.浴缸里的水溢到了地板上。
• After a long period of rain,the river may overflow its banks.长时间的下雨天后，河水可能溢出岸来。

8 hanger   

n.吊架，吊轴承；挂钩

参考例句：

• I hung my coat up on a hanger.我把外衣挂在挂钩上。
• The ship is fitted with a large helicopter hanger and flight deck.这艘船配备有一个较大的直升飞机悬挂装置和飞行甲板。

9 bent   

n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的

参考例句：

• He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
• We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。

10 craved   

渴望，热望( crave的过去式 )； 恳求，请求

参考例句：

• She has always craved excitement. 她总渴望刺激。
• A spicy, sharp-tasting radish was exactly what her stomach craved. 她正馋着想吃一个香甜可口的红萝卜呢。

11 chunks   

厚厚的一块( chunk的名词复数 )； （某物）相当大的数量或部分

参考例句：

• a tin of pineapple chunks 一罐菠萝块
• Those chunks of meat are rather large—could you chop them up a bIt'smaller? 这些肉块相当大，还能再切小一点吗？

12 wavy   

adj.有波浪的，多浪的，波浪状的，波动的，不稳定的

参考例句：

• She drew a wavy line under the word.她在这个词的下面画了一条波纹线。
• His wavy hair was too long and flopped just beneath his brow.他的波浪式头发太长了，正好垂在他的眉毛下。

13 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

14 drowsy   

adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的

参考例句：

• Exhaust fumes made him drowsy and brought on a headache.废气把他熏得昏昏沉沉，还引起了头疼。
• I feel drowsy after lunch every day.每天午饭后我就想睡觉。

15 shuddering   

v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动

参考例句：

• 'I am afraid of it,'she answered, shuddering. “我害怕，”她发着抖，说。 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
• She drew a deep shuddering breath. 她不由得打了个寒噤，深深吸了口气。 来自飘（部分）

16 hoof   

n.(马，牛等的)蹄

参考例句：

• Suddenly he heard the quick,short click of a horse's hoof behind him.突然间，他听见背后响起一阵急骤的马蹄的得得声。
• I was kicked by a hoof.我被一只蹄子踢到了。

17 dozy   

adj.困倦的；愚笨的

参考例句：

• Maybe I eat too much and that's what makes me dozy.也许我吃得太多了，所以昏昏欲睡。
• I'm feeling a bit dozy this afternoon.今天下午我觉得有点困。

18 solidified   

（使）成为固体，（使）变硬，（使）变得坚固( solidify的过去式和过去分词 )； 使团结一致； 充实，巩固； 具体化

参考例句：

• Her attitudes solidified through privilege and habit. 由于特权和习惯使然，她的看法变得越来越难以改变。
• When threatened, he fires spheres of solidified air from his launcher! 当危险来临，他就会发射它的弹药！

19 marred   

adj. 被损毁, 污损的

参考例句：

• The game was marred by the behaviour of drunken fans. 喝醉了的球迷行为不轨，把比赛给搅了。
• Bad diction marred the effectiveness of his speech. 措词不当影响了他演说的效果。

20 bead   

n.念珠；(pl.)珠子项链；水珠

参考例句：

• She accidentally swallowed a glass bead.她不小心吞下了一颗玻璃珠。
• She has a beautiful glass bead and a bracelet in the box.盒子里有一颗美丽的玻璃珠和手镯。

21 jaw   

n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训

参考例句：

• He delivered a right hook to his opponent's jaw.他给了对方下巴一记右钩拳。
• A strong square jaw is a sign of firm character.强健的方下巴是刚毅性格的标志。

22 buddy   

n.（美口）密友，伙伴

参考例句：

• Calm down,buddy.What's the trouble?压压气，老兄。有什么麻烦吗？
• Get out of my way,buddy!别挡道了，你这家伙！

23 chatter   

vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战

参考例句：

• Her continuous chatter vexes me.她的喋喋不休使我烦透了。
• I've had enough of their continual chatter.我已厌烦了他们喋喋不休的闲谈。

24 cremated   

v.火葬，火化（尸体）( cremate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He wants to is cremated, not buried. 他要火葬，不要土葬。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The bodies were cremated on the shore. 他们的尸体在海边火化了。 来自辞典例句

25 scattered   

adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的

参考例句：

• Gathering up his scattered papers,he pushed them into his case.他把散乱的文件收拾起来，塞进文件夹里。

26 interred   

v.埋，葬( inter的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Marie Curie's remains were exhumed and interred in the Pantheon. 玛丽·居里的遗体被移出葬在先贤祠中。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The body was interred at the cemetery. 遗体埋葬在公墓里。 来自《简明英汉词典》