How to Really get Happy

 　　It would be tough to argue that anything occupies a larger portion of our conscious “think time” than an endless quest for happiness. And yet, despite this being the ostensible¹ end goal for just about everything we do, we sure spend a lot of time … well … not feeling terribly happy.

　　Are we bad at happiness? Actually? Yes. We sort of are. But it’s more complicated than that, of course.There are two big fallacies about happiness, and letting go of both of them will allow

　　you to embrace your sunnier nature—and enjoy life a little. What do you have to lose besides that whole “misery” thing?

　　It’s not always that we’re “bad” at being happy. It’s that we’re frequently bad at accurately² predicting what will make us happy.

　　I’ve read numerous happiness studies which support this point (including, but not limited to the book, Stumbling Upon Happiness) some of which cite statistics and anecdotes³ about lottery⁴ winners, models and movie stars, and others who should theoretically be so hopped⁵ up on natural beauty/money/fame bliss⁶ that they walk around in a perpetual cloud of joy that mere⁷ mortals can’t even wrap their sad, delight-deprived minds around.

　　Except … that’s not the case. Rich people, beautiful people, and famous people may have lives that “stand out” more on E! True Hollywood Story, but they aren’t happier than the rest of us. In fact, if you’ve ever watched such a program, you’ve probably thought, “Dear God, thank you for not making me rich, gorgeous, and well-known.”

　　Or maybe you haven’t. And it’s certainly a cliché that cash, looks, and constant paparazzi doesn’t lead you to the temple of contentment. But the extreme examples serve to highlight that we really do place a disproportionate importance on those three, in slightly less dramatic forms—our jobs, our sex appeal, or popularity. So we mindlessly toil⁸ away without thinking, or worse, strive toward goals which we confuse with happiness. After all, many of us forget—

　　or never learned in the first place—what really makes us content.

　　As my friend, Tim Ferriss, writes in his bestselling business book, The 4 Hour Work Week, we’re all too quick to “postpone the intense self-examination and decision-making necessary to create a life of enjoyment⁹.” What do we do instead? Distract ourselves with the idea that more money (or losing weight, or getting married) will make us happy.

　　Health Top Tips Nutrition Love Lifestyle Happiness Weight Loss

　　So what’s the fastest way to really—really—figure out what makes you a happy camper?

　　Start a list. (Groan) I know, I know. Another list, just what you need. But seriously. You make excruciatingly detailed¹⁰ lists for the grocery store, the IRS, and your wedding. The least you could do is write down a few things that led directly to joy on your part. None of this “the end justifies¹¹ the means” stuff (you’re not allowed to write anything that “might one day” make you happy. It has to create contentment right then and there.)

　　And stop with the big things. “My apartment” is too … vague. “My boyfriend” is too general. What about your apartment makes you happy? The way the light streams through the windows at 7:30 a.m.? The fact that you can’t hear your neighbors—ever? Your tiny little balcony, on which you fell asleep last Saturday night, on a blanket, because no chairs fit out there? That’s the sort of thing you should write down.

　　If you get stuck, think of this very cheesy reminder—Maria in The Sound of Music, singing about “her favorite things.” It seems a bit juvenile¹², but I promise, as you write down the silly little pieces of life that truly make you happy, I bet you’ll realize you’re happier than you think. And as you do, you’ll begin to notice that happiness is a choice—and it’s a positive feedback loop. As you choose to see the little things that bring you joy, you’ll start to see more of them, which will in turn, make you happier.

　　I remember reading somewhere that “happiness requires cultivation¹³.” Take the time to cultivate your happiness. After all, what could be more important than that?

1 ostensible   

adj.(指理由)表面的，假装的

参考例句：

• The ostensible reason wasn't the real reason.表面上的理由并不是真正的理由。
• He resigned secretaryship on the ostensible ground of health.他借口身体不好，辞去书记的职务。

2 accurately   

adv.准确地，精确地

参考例句：

• It is hard to hit the ball accurately.准确地击中球很难。
• Now scientists can forecast the weather accurately.现在科学家们能准确地预报天气。

3 anecdotes   

n.掌故，趣闻，轶事( anecdote的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• amusing anecdotes about his brief career as an actor 关于他短暂演员生涯的趣闻逸事
• He related several anecdotes about his first years as a congressman. 他讲述自己初任议员那几年的几则轶事。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 lottery   

n.抽彩；碰运气的事，难于算计的事

参考例句：

• He won no less than ￡5000 in the lottery.他居然中了5000英镑的奖券。
• They thought themselves lucky in the lottery of life.他们认为自己是变幻莫测的人生中的幸运者。

5 hopped   

跳上[下]( hop的过去式和过去分词 )； 单足蹦跳； 齐足（或双足）跳行； 摘葎草花

参考例句：

• He hopped onto a car and wanted to drive to town. 他跳上汽车想开向市区。
• He hopped into a car and drove to town. 他跳进汽车，向市区开去。

6 bliss   

n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福

参考例句：

• It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
• He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴，因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。

7 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

8 toil   

vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事

参考例句：

• The wealth comes from the toil of the masses.财富来自大众的辛勤劳动。
• Every single grain is the result of toil.每一粒粮食都来之不易。

9 enjoyment   

n.乐趣；享有；享用

参考例句：

• Your company adds to the enjoyment of our visit. 有您的陪同，我们这次访问更加愉快了。
• After each joke the old man cackled his enjoyment.每逢讲完一个笑话，这老人就呵呵笑着表示他的高兴。

10 detailed   

adj.详细的，详尽的，极注意细节的，完全的

参考例句：

• He had made a detailed study of the terrain.他对地形作了缜密的研究。
• A detailed list of our publications is available on request.我们的出版物有一份详细的目录备索。

11 justifies   

证明…有理( justify的第三人称单数 )； 为…辩护； 对…作出解释； 为…辩解（或辩护）

参考例句：

• Their frequency of use both justifies and requires the memorization. 频繁的使用需要记忆，也促进了记忆。 来自About Face 3交互设计精髓
• In my judgement the present end justifies the means. 照我的意见，只要目的正当，手段是可以不计较的。

12 juvenile   

n.青少年，少年读物；adj.青少年的，幼稚的

参考例句：

• For a grown man he acted in a very juvenile manner.身为成年人，他的行为举止显得十分幼稚。
• Juvenile crime is increasing at a terrifying rate.青少年犯罪正在以惊人的速度增长。

13 cultivation   

n.耕作，培养，栽培（法），养成

参考例句：

• The cultivation in good taste is our main objective.培养高雅情趣是我们的主要目标。
• The land is not fertile enough to repay cultivation.这块土地不够肥沃，不值得耕种。