福克斯新闻 如何减小离婚对孩子的伤害

Fox on Family. Divorce¹ is messy. Is there a way to make it less painful for the kids?

"When you first sit them down before any of the fighting starts, what really do you want to accomplish here? I want to get divorced² and I want what's best for my kids; they always say that."

But family lawyer and author Joryn Jenkins says the stress of divorce can make it easy to lose sight of that.

So at every meeting, she keeps goals and interests posted on a white board, pictures of the kids on a conference table and has parents take a break when they're getting upset.

To break the news to children, Jenkins always recommends doing it as a couple: "You know the big thing about getting divorced is you're sending your children the message that you can stop loving someone."

So kids need reassurance³ from a united front of support. "I think you often explain that it's that you can't live together anymore, but you reiterate-all the time-we will always love you; we will both always love you, you don't stop loving your children."

But she often recommends family counseling⁴, especially to make sure kids don't blame themselves.

With FOX on Family, I'm Lisa Brady.

欢迎收听《福克斯家庭新闻》。离婚是很难应付的一件事情。那有没有办法让离婚对孩子来说不那么痛苦呢？

“当你在每次争吵开始之前让孩子们坐下来的时候，想想你真正想要的是什么？我想离婚，我也想给我孩子最好的成长环境；大家总是这么说。”

但家庭律师兼作家约琳·詹金斯说，离婚的压力可能会让大家很容易忘掉这一点。

所以，每次见面的时候，她都会把各种目标和兴趣贴在小黑板上，还有孩子们坐在会议桌前的照片，会面的家长不开心她就让他们先停下来休息一下。

关于父母如何告诉孩子自己离婚的消息，詹金斯一直都建议父母们一起做这件事：“离婚很重要的一个问题是你在给孩子传递你会不再爱某个人这一信息。”

所以，父母需要表现得很团结，从而消除孩子的疑虑。

“我觉得，我们经常解释的一点就是，你要让孩子知道，爸爸妈妈虽然不能继续在一起生活了，但你要重申——不断地重申——你们还是会继续爱TA，你们俩个人都会永远爱TA，你们不会不爱自己的孩子。”

但她通常还会建议大家进行家庭辅导，尤其是要确保孩子不会因为父母离婚责怪自己。

感谢您收听《福克斯家庭新闻》，我是丽萨·布莱迪。

1 divorce   

n.离婚；分离；vi.离婚；vt.离婚；脱离

参考例句：

• Did he divorce his wife or did she divorce him?是他要和妻子离婚，还是妻子要和他离婚？
• None of us like the divorce of word and deed.我们都不喜欢言行不一。

2 divorced   

adj.离婚的；分开的；不相干的；脱离的v.与…离婚(divorce的过去式和过去分词)；分离；与某人离婚，判某人离婚

参考例句：

• Apparently they are getting divorced soon. 看样子，他们很快就要离婚。
• Many divorced men remarry and have second families. 许多离婚的男子再婚组成了新的家庭。

3 reassurance   

n.使放心，使消除疑虑

参考例句：

• He drew reassurance from the enthusiastic applause.热烈的掌声使他获得了信心。
• Reassurance is especially critical when it comes to military activities.消除疑虑在军事活动方面尤为关键。

4 counseling   

n.咨询服务

参考例句：

• A multimillionaire media magnate has shocked his employees with his candor by telling them all that he's putting his business affairs on hold to enter an alcoholism-counseling program. 一位身份数百万的媒体大亨，坦诚地告诉他全体员工他将暂时搁置他的事业以便参加戒酒班，令员工大为惊愕。
• She will need medical help and counseling to overcome the tragedy. 她将需要医疗帮助和心理咨询来平复这场悲剧。