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英语PK台 第1068期:幸福的家庭总是相似 幽默小说《金婚蜜月》

时间:2019-12-20 07:52来源:互联网 提供网友:nan   字体: [ ]


1. Mother says that when I start talking, I never know when to stop. But then, "Well, Mother," I say, "when people are like you and I, and married over fifty years, do you expect everything I say will be something you ain't heard me say before?” So she says: "You can bet they ain't, as nobody else can stand you that long." You can't get ahead of Mother. 


2. It would be our Golden Honeymoon1. We ended up in St. Petersburg, where we stayed at a cosy2 hotel. I asked Mother how she would like to travel around more after this trip and she said: "Fine, but not with an old rattle3 brain like you driving." You can't get ahead of Mother.

我们金婚蜜月之旅的最后一站来到了圣彼得堡,住进了一家舒适的酒店。我问孩他妈,这次旅行后她是否还想多走几个地方。她回答说:“想啊,但是我可不想和你这样愚蠢又多嘴的家伙一起开车去了。” 你不可能赢得了孩他妈。

3. On the third day it was Mother's birthday, so we ordered ourselves a real sirloin steak in the Peninsula Hotel restaurant, that was hardly big enough for one. I said to Mother: "Well, I guess it's a good thing every day ain't your birthday or we would be in the poorhouse." "No," says Mother, "because if every day was my birthday, I would be old enough by this time to of been in my grave long ago." You can't get ahead of Mother. 

还有三天就是孩他妈的生日了,于是我们在半岛酒店的餐厅订了一份真正的沙朗牛排,这玩意几乎都不够我俩一个人吃的。我对孩他妈说:“嗯,我觉得你不是每天都过生日还挺好的,不然我们就得搬进救济院了。” “确实,”孩他妈说,“如果每天都是我的生日,我早就老到入土了。” 你不可能赢得了孩他妈。

4. But I want to tell you about the Park. While I was playing checkers with a random4 passer-by who was also keen on a game of checkers or two, Mother sat down on a bench. The woman next to her started a conversation. She was a woman about Mother's own age, seventy or seventy-one, and finally she asked Mother's name. Mother told her her name and where she was from, and Mother asked her the same questions, and who do you think the woman was? 


5. Well, sir, it was the wife of Frank M. Hartsell, the man who was engaged to Mother till I stepped in, fifty-two years ago! Yes, sir! You can imagine Mother's surprise! And Mrs. Hartsell was surprised, too, when Mother told her she had once been friends with her husband, though Mother didn't say how close friends they had been. Mother asked if Frank was still living and Mrs. Hartsell simply pointed5 over her shoulder. 


6. There was old Frank! And he knew Mother as soon as he saw her, though it was over fifty years ago she left him. He said he saw it in her eyes. "Why, it's Lucy Frost!" he said. Him and I are the same age, but he seems to show it more. He is balder for one thing. And his beard is all white, where mine has still got a streak6 of brown in it. 


7. Well, I excused myself from the checker game and it was pretty close to noon, so we decided7 to all have lunch together. After, we invited them to our place. We began talking over old times and Mother said she was scared Mrs. Hartsell would find it tiresome8 listening to we three talk over old times, but as it turned out Mrs Hartsell talked more than anyone I ever met. 


8. She bragged10 on and on about her son, and Mother made me shut up. Well, I thought they wouldn't never go home and I and Mother were in misery11 trying to keep awake, as the both of us always take a nap after lunch. Finally, they left after Mrs. Hartsell invited us to come to their place the next night and play cards. Now I don't mind playing cards, but how can a woman like Hartsell's wife play cards when they have got to stop every couple seconds and brag9 about their son? So Mother said: "You are getting too cranky. Maybe she does talk a little too much but she is good hearted. And Frank is always good company." So I said: "I suppose if he is such good company you wished you had of married him." Mother laughed and said I sounded like I was jealous. 


9. Maybe I forgot myself, but anyway, when we were about done playing cards that following evening, Hartsell made the remark that he wouldn't ever lose a game of cards if he could always have Mother for a partner in his team of card players. So I said: "Well, you had a chance fifty years ago to always have her for a partner, but you weren’t a man enough to keep her." I was sorry the minute I had said it. Hartsell didn't know what to say and for once his wife couldn't say a word. Mother tried to smooth things over by making the remark that I must of had something stronger than tea or I wouldn't talk so silly. But Mrs. Hartsell had frozen like an iceberg12 and hardly said good night to us. I bet her and Frank put in a pleasant hour after we were gone. 


10. I tried to keep quiet, but as soon as we were out of the house she started scolding me. Well, I wasn't in the mood to be scolded. So I said: "I guess he is such a wonderful card player that you wished you had married him." "Well," she said, "at least he ain't a baby." "Well," I said, "why didn't you marry him?" "Well," said Mother, "I almost wished I had!" "And I wished so, too!" I said. "I'll remember that!" said Mother, and that's the last word she said to me for two days. We saw the Hartsells the next day in the Park and I was willing to apologize, but they just nodded to us. 

我试图保持安静,但我们一出门,她就开始责骂我。嗯,我现在可没心情被骂。于是,我说:“我猜,他纸牌玩得那么好,你肯定后悔了当时没嫁给他。” “好吧,”她说,“至少他不是个‘巨婴’。” “嗯,”我说,“那你为什么没嫁给他?”“好吧,”孩他妈说,“我有点儿希望当时嫁给的是他!”“我也希望如此!”我说。“我会记住你说的话的!”孩他妈说。这是两天内她对我说的最后一句话。第二天我们在公园里看到了哈特赛尔夫妇,我想要为前一天的事情道歉,但他们只是向我们点了点头。

11. Mother and I made it up setting on a bench. "Listen, Charley," she said. "This is our Golden Honeymoon and we don't want the whole thing spoilt with a silly old quarrel." "Well," I said, "did you mean that about wishing you had married Hartsell?" "Of course not," she said, "that is, if you didn't mean that you wished I had, too." So I said: "I was just tired and all wrought13 up. I thank God you chose me instead of him as there is no other woman in the world who I could have lived with for all these years." "How about Mrs. Hartsell?" says Mother. "Good gracious!" I said. "Imagine being married to a woman that plays cards like she does!” So I put my arm around her shoulder and she stroked my hand. The next day we took our train for home and arrived safe and sound, having been gone just one month and a day. Here comes Mother, so I guess I better shut up. 

然后,孩他妈和我坐在长凳上把这件事聊透了。“听着,查理,”她说,“这是我们的金婚蜜月,我们都不希望它被愚蠢的翻旧账式的争吵给毁了。” “好吧,”我说,“你的意思是后悔当时没嫁给哈特赛尔吗?”“当然不是,”她说,“我是说,如果你也并不是真的希望我那样想的话。” 于是,我说:“我只是累了,哪哪都不对劲。我感谢上帝,你选择了我而不是他,要不这些年来还有哪个女人愿意和我住在一起。” “哈特赛尔太太怎么样?” 孩他妈说。“天呐!” 我说,“设想一下娶了一个像她那样打牌的女人!”于是,我伸出手臂搂在她的肩膀上,她轻抚着我的手。第二天,我们乘火车回家,经过了一个月零一天的旅程,终于平安到家了。孩他妈向我走了过来,所以我最好先闭嘴。


1 honeymoon ucnxc     
  • While on honeymoon in Bali,she learned to scuba dive.她在巴厘岛度蜜月时学会了带水肺潜水。
  • The happy pair are leaving for their honeymoon.这幸福的一对就要去度蜜月了。
2 cosy dvnzc5     
  • We spent a cosy evening chatting by the fire.我们在炉火旁聊天度过了一个舒适的晚上。
  • It was so warm and cosy in bed that Simon didn't want to get out.床上温暖而又舒适,西蒙简直不想下床了。
3 rattle 5Alzb     
  • The baby only shook the rattle and laughed and crowed.孩子只是摇着拨浪鼓,笑着叫着。
  • She could hear the rattle of the teacups.她听见茶具叮当响。
4 random HT9xd     
  • The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
  • On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查,发现肉变质了。
5 pointed Il8zB4     
  • He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
  • She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。
6 streak UGgzL     
  • The Indians used to streak their faces with paint.印第安人过去常用颜料在脸上涂条纹。
  • Why did you streak the tree?你为什么在树上刻条纹?
7 decided lvqzZd     
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
8 tiresome Kgty9     
  • His doubts and hesitations were tiresome.他的疑惑和犹豫令人厌烦。
  • He was tiresome in contending for the value of his own labors.他老为他自己劳动的价值而争强斗胜,令人生厌。
9 brag brag     
  • He made brag of his skill.他夸耀自己技术高明。
  • His wealth is his brag.他夸张他的财富。
10 bragged 56622ccac3ec221e2570115463345651     
v.自夸,吹嘘( brag的过去式和过去分词 )
  • He bragged to his friends about the crime. 他向朋友炫耀他的罪行。
  • Mary bragged that she could run faster than Jack. 玛丽夸口说她比杰克跑得快。 来自《简明英汉词典》
11 misery G10yi     
  • Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
  • He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。
12 iceberg CbKx0     
  • The ship hit an iceberg and went under.船撞上一座冰山而沉没了。
  • The glacier calved a large iceberg.冰河崩解而形成一个大冰山。
13 wrought EoZyr     
  • Events in Paris wrought a change in British opinion towards France and Germany.巴黎发生的事件改变了英国对法国和德国的看法。
  • It's a walking stick with a gold head wrought in the form of a flower.那是一个金质花形包头的拐杖。
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