TED演讲 :生命中最惨痛的时刻如何造就我们(2)

 and you need to fold the worst events of your life  你必须把生命中最糟糕的时间，

into a narrative¹ of triumph,  揉搓成胜利的故事，

evincing a better self  用更好的自己

in response to things that hurt.  来还击能伤害你的事物。

One of the other mothers I interviewed  我在写我的书时，

when I was working on my book  访问了一位母亲，

had been raped³ as an adolescent,  她年少时被强奸，

and had a child following that rape²,  而在那之后她怀了孩子，

which had thrown away her career plans  这摧毁了她的事业计划

and damaged all of her emotional relationships.  也使她的情感关系受创。

But when I met her, she was 50,  当我遇见她时，她已经50岁了，

and I said to her,  我问她，

"Do you often think about the man who raped you?"  “你常想起那个强奸你的男人吗？”

And she said, "I used to think about him with anger,  而她回答道：“我曾经对他很气愤，

but now only with pity."  但现在只有怜悯。”

And I thought she meant pity because he was  我以为她所说的怜悯是因为

so unevolved as to have done this terrible thing.  只有粗鄙的男人才能做出如此不堪的事情。

And I said, "Pity?"  我问她：“怜悯？”

And she said, "Yes,  她回答到：“是的，

because he has a beautiful daughter  因为他有一个美丽的女儿

and two beautiful grandchildren  和两个美丽的孙子孙女

and he doesn't know that, and I do.  但他并不知道，而我知道。

So as it turns out, I'm the lucky one."  所以显然，我是幸运的。”

Some of our struggles are things we're born to:  有些挣扎是先天的：

our gender⁴, our sexuality, our race, our disability.  我们的性别，性倾向，种族，残疾。

And some are things that happen to us:  有些是后天发生的事情：

being a political prisoner, being a rape victim,  成为政治犯，成为强奸的受害者，

being a Katrina survivor⁵.  成为飓风卡特里娜的幸存者。

Identity involves entering a community  身份意味着进入一个社群

to draw strength from that community,  从社群中得到力量，

and to give strength there too.  并同时给予那社群力量。

It involves substituting "and" for "but" --  这需要把“但是”转换成“而且”

not "I am here but I have cancer,"  不是“我在这儿但是我有癌症”

but rather, "I have cancer and I am here."  而是，“我有癌症而且我在这里。”

When we're ashamed,  当我们对自己感到惭愧，

we can't tell our stories,  我们就无法阐述自己的故事，

and stories are the foundation of identity.  而故事是身份的基础。

Forge meaning, build identity,  铸造意义，建立身份，

forge meaning and build identity.  铸造意义并建立身份，

That became my mantra.  这变成了我的口头禅。

Forging meaning is about changing yourself.  铸造意义所需要的是改变自己。

Building identity is about changing the world.  建立身份所需要的是改变世界。

All of us with stigmatized⁶ identities  所有像我这样身份沾有污点的人

face this question daily:  每天都必须面对这个问题：

how much to accommodate society  我该多大限度地通过禁锢自己

by constraining⁷ ourselves,  来迁就社会

and how much to break the limits  我该多大限度地打破所谓

of what constitutes a valid⁸ life?  正确生活的底线？

Forging meaning and building identity  铸造意义和建立身份

does not make what was wrong right.  不会把错的变成对的。

It only makes what was wrong precious.  只会把错误的变得珍贵。

In January of this year,  今年一月，

I went to Myanmar to interview political prisoners,  我前往缅甸访问政治囚犯，

and I was surprised to find them less bitter  而我惊讶地发现他们

than I'd anticipated.  没有我想象中的那么怀恨。

Most of them had knowingly committed  他们大多在知情的情况下

the offenses⁹ that landed them in prison,  犯下了让他们入狱的罪行，

and they had walked in with their heads held high,  而他们昂首挺胸地走入监狱，

and they walked out with their heads  多年后，他们依然昂首

still held high, many years later.  地走出监狱。

1 narrative   

n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的

参考例句：

• He was a writer of great narrative power.他是一位颇有记述能力的作家。
• Neither author was very strong on narrative.两个作者都不是很善于讲故事。

2 rape   

n.抢夺，掠夺，强奸；vt.掠夺，抢夺，强奸

参考例句：

• The rape of the countryside had a profound ravage on them.对乡村的掠夺给他们造成严重创伤。
• He was brought to court and charged with rape.他被带到法庭并被指控犯有强奸罪。

3 raped   

v.以暴力夺取，强夺( rape的过去式和过去分词 )；强奸

参考例句：

• A young woman was brutally raped in her own home. 一名年轻女子在自己家中惨遭强暴。 来自辞典例句
• We got stick together, or we will be having our women raped. 我们得团结一致，不然我们的妻女就会遭到蹂躏。 来自辞典例句

4 gender   

n.（生理上的）性，（名词、代词等的）性

参考例句：

• French differs from English in having gender for all nouns.法语不同于英语，所有的名词都有性。
• Women are sometimes denied opportunities solely because of their gender.妇女有时仅仅因为性别而无法获得种种机会。

5 survivor   

n.生存者，残存者，幸存者

参考例句：

• The sole survivor of the crash was an infant.这次撞车的惟一幸存者是一个婴儿。
• There was only one survivor of the plane crash.这次飞机失事中只有一名幸存者。

6 stigmatized   

v.使受耻辱，指责，污辱( stigmatize的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He was stigmatized as an ex-convict. 他遭人污辱，说他给判过刑。 来自辞典例句
• Such a view has been stigmatized as mechanical jurisprudence. 蔑称这种观点为机械法学。 来自辞典例句

7 constraining   

强迫( constrain的现在分词 )； 强使； 限制； 约束

参考例句：

• He was constraining his mind not to wander from the task. 他克制着不让思想在工作时开小差。
• The most constraining resource in all of these cases is venture capital. 在所有这些情况下最受限制的资源便是投入资本。

8 valid   

adj.有确实根据的；有效的；正当的，合法的

参考例句：

• His claim to own the house is valid.他主张对此屋的所有权有效。
• Do you have valid reasons for your absence?你的缺席有正当理由吗？

9 offenses   

n.进攻( offense的名词复数 )；（球队的）前锋；进攻方法；攻势

参考例句：

• It's wrong of you to take the child to task for such trifling offenses. 因这类小毛病责备那孩子是你的不对。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Thus, Congress cannot remove an executive official except for impeachable offenses. 因此，除非有可弹劾的行为，否则国会不能罢免行政官员。 来自英汉非文学 - 行政法