TED演讲:为什么要跟别人一样?(3)

 Another world was opening up around this time: performance and dancing. 在这个时候，另一个世界出现了：那就是表演和舞蹈。

That nagging¹ dread² of self-hood didn't exist when I was dancing. 对于自我纠缠不清的恐惧，在我跳舞时并不存在。

I'd literally³ lose myself. And I was a really good dancer. 我像是失去了自己。我是一个好的舞蹈演员。

I would put all my emotional expression into my dancing. 我会把我所有的感情投入到舞蹈中去。

I could be in the movement in a way that I wasn't able to be in my real life, in myself. 在舞蹈中，我能完成我在现实中自己无法做到的动作。

And at 16, I stumbled across another opportunity, and I earned my first acting⁴ role in a film. 当我16岁时，我无意中遇到另一个机遇，得到了我的第一个电影角色。

I can hardly find the words to describe the peace I felt when I was acting. 我难以找到言语来形容在表演中。

My dysfunctional self could actually plug in to another self, not my own, and it felt so good. 我感受到的平静，我那残缺的自我，终于融入了不是我自己的另一个自我，这种感觉真好。

It was the first time that I existed inside a fully-functioning self 那是我第一次存在于一个正常运作的自我，

one that I controlled, that I steered⁵, that I gave life to.  一个我可以控制的、可以操纵的、可以赋予生命的自我。

But the shooting day would end, and I'd return to my gnarly, awkward self. 但是拍摄的日子终会结束，我也会回到我那扭曲尴尬的自我。

1 nagging   

adj.唠叨的，挑剔的；使人不得安宁的v.不断地挑剔或批评（某人）( nag的现在分词 )；不断地烦扰或伤害（某人）；无休止地抱怨；不断指责

参考例句：

• Stop nagging—I'll do it as soon as I can. 别唠叨了—我会尽快做的。
• I've got a nagging pain in my lower back. 我后背下方老是疼。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 dread   

vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧

参考例句：

• We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
• Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。

3 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

4 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

5 steered   

v.驾驶( steer的过去式和过去分词 )；操纵；控制；引导

参考例句：

• He steered the boat into the harbour. 他把船开进港。
• The freighter steered out of Santiago Bay that evening. 那天晚上货轮驶出了圣地亚哥湾。 来自《简明英汉词典》