成长的烦恼第七季:The Five Fingers of Ben

Public Announcement: Attention people; those interested in testifying at Nurse Downer's parole hearing should report to the office. Have a nice day.
Luke: All right, there she is. The time to strike is now.
Ben: Nothing weird¹ hanging out of my nose?
Luke: Just the usual.
Ben: What? That's it! I'm not going!
Luke: Just get over there and talk to her.
Ben: Hi, Becka.
Becka: Hi, Ben.
Ben: Listen…
Razor: Hey! Four eyes! Did I say that you could talk to Becka?
Ben: Actually, my name's Ben.
Razor: Shut up! You know, I don't like your attitude. I don't like the way you talk. I don't even like the way you breath.
Ben: Less nasal? More nasal? A little more through the mouth?
Razor: In fact, the only thing I do like about you is your cap.
Ben: Thanks, I just got it.
Razor: Give it to me.
Ben: What?
Razor: Take it off your head, and put it in my hand by the time I count to three. One! Two...Chicken. Why don't you cluck?
Ben: Look, Razor, I know you're a tough guy, but there are certain things I will not do. Uh, so what are we talking here? Like, Rhode Island red, which is kind of a…(clucking)? Like a Jersey² giant, which is kind of ….(clucking)?
Maggie: Chrissy, I told you to get in the bath.
Chrissy: I don't want to.
Jason: (clearing throat)
Chrissy: Okay, daddy! Whatever you say!
Maggie: Wait a minute. She ignores me totally, and you just clear your throat? What is this, some kind of psychological minimalist type of thing?
Jason: No, no. Just kind of a, you know, choking on a Chik-let kind of thing.
Ben: That's it! I've made my decision, and you're not talking me out of it. I want a gun.
Jason: (gasping) Forget it!
Ben: Okay, you talked me out of it. Here's plan B; I want to take karate³ lessons.
Jason: Karate?
Maggie: Why?
Ben: You guys remember my brand-new $27 cap? Well, this punk at school named Razor made me give it to him in front of Becka and everybody.
Jason: Come on, Ben, you've had to deal with bullies⁴ before…$27 cap?
Ben: This kid is dangerous. He is certified⁵ USDA mean.
Jason: Well, I think you should report this to the vice-principal.
Ben: Yeah? A kid tried that last year. Now he's living in Nevada under an assumed name.
Jason: There's gotta be a better way to handle this, Ben. Why don't you just go…?
Ben: What's so about karate? I mean, it's philosophical⁶, it's graceful⁷, and it teaches you how to put your foot through somebody's brain.
Maggie: Oh! Ben, if that's why you want to learn karate, you can forget it.
Ben: Fine! Then let me go look in my closet to see if I have anything else in Razor's size.
Jason: Ben! Wait a minute, Ben. Maggie, maybe it's not such a bad idea to let him take a few karate lessons.
Maggie: No way.
Jason: Well, you don't know what it's like. You've never had somebody bully⁸ you around at school.
Maggie: Well, as a matter of fact, Didi Ribozo tried to keep me from using the girl's bathroom the entire junior year.
Jason: So what did you do?
Maggie: I gave up liquids during school hours.
Jason: See, you gave in. That's not the way you want Ben to solve this.
Maggie: Well, I know that, Jason. But I also don't want him putting his foot through someone's brain.
Jason: Well, right now, someone's brain is inside Ben's cap. I don't like violence any more than you do, but we're both gonna feel better if he knows how to protect himself.
Maggie: Yeah, but I just wish there was some way he could reason with this boy.
Jason: Maggie, it is my experience there are two kinds of people; those you reason with, and those named Razor.
Dwight: Mike, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me sell my car.
Mike: Oh, how could I not help? And Dwight, you could be the man that marries Carol, and takes her far, far away. I'm just thanking you in advance.
Car buyer1: Excuse me. I'm her about the car.
Mike: Oh, yes! I'm telling you, they broke the mold when they made this baby.
Dwight: Oh, I sure hope so. It's got a faulty heater hose, the fan belt's worn out, it doesn't start in the rain, the starter kinda goes ruhn-ruhn, and when you turn the radio on the lights go off.
Car buyer1: Good luck!
Mike: Dwight! What are you doing?
Dwight: Telling the truth.
Mike: To sell a used car?
Dwight: Mike, you aren't suggesting that I lie, are you?
Mike: No! I'm ordering you to lie.
Dwight: Mike, I've only lied once in my whole life. I told my mother that I'd washed my hands before dinner when I hadn't. The words were barely out of my mouth, when a very large piece of Skylab came crashing down through our roof. It was an omen⁹, Mike.
Mike: Okay, Chicken Little. Well, then we won't call it lying. We'll just call it accentuating¹⁰ the positive. You know, try to think of the good things you can say about the car with a clear conscience.
Dwight: If you get hit from behind, there's a pretty good chance it won't explode.
Mike: Great! You see, that's not so hard, is it?
Dwight: No.
Mike: Okay.
Dwight: But I will not lie.
Mike: Dwight, I'm with you 110 percent. Okay, let's talk about it while we roll back the odometer.
Maggie: Okay, Ben, we have to go in back to get your uniform.
Ben: Oh, I'll be right there.
[Dream sequence: The Five Fingers of Ben]
Villian leader: Hey, there, you! Blond boy! People say you are looking around to find me.
Ben: Correct! I hate you with great hatred¹¹.
[gang noises]
Villian leader: While you are looking for us, we have decimated your little town.
Villian: (laughing) And pistol-whipped your goldfish.
Ben: Prepare for a very painful death.
Villian leader: Silence! I am tired of this snappy patter. Let us fight and make snappy patter.
[fighters yelling]
Ben: You fight like my aunt Bertha.
Ben: It's a pity there are only five of you. I was hoping to break a sweat. Swamp-dwelling insects.
Villian leader: Destroy him.
[fighting sounds]
Ben: (laughing)
Villian leader: Blond boy! You are not bad, but you must fight with greater dexterity¹², if you want to challenge me.
[fighting sounds]
Villian leader: And now, I shall laugh in your face. (laughing)
Ben: Nobody laughs in my face. It is I who shall laugh in yours. (laughing) And now, prepare yourself to taste my fist.
Ben: Ai-yah!
Maggie: Ben, are you okay?
Ben: Oh, yeah!
Sim: Faster! Again! One, two, three, four!
Maggie: Uh, uh, excuse me, excuse me, uh, Master Sim, Master Sim…
Sim: Tell me, Ben. Have you ever seen a fight between cobra and mongoose?
Ben: Uh, just Mike and my dad when the rent's due.
Sim: Same principal; attack, counter-attack. Get ready! We're gonna go faster now. Go! One, two, three…
Maggie: No! No! Master Sim, please! You might hurt him.
Ben: Aw, mom.
Sim: Ben, take a break.
Maggie: I'm sorry, Master Sim, but this is all much too violent.
Sim: Karate is not about violence, Mrs. Seaver. Karate is about control. Control of yourself first, and then control of someone who may be trying to hurt you.
Ben: Look, mom, no one's getting hurt. Come on, I'll show you.
Maggie: No, the only hand-to-hand combat I do is at the Macy's white sale.
Ben: No, mom. I'll just be showing you how I'm learning to defend myself. Is that all right Master Sim?
Sim: Yes, but remember your mother has had no lessons, so block her blows, but don't counter-punch.
Ben: Okay, mom. Just try and punch me.
Maggie: Ah! Oh!
Ben: Mom, a punch, not a slap. Come on.
Sim: Good footwork, Ben.
Ben: Okay, mom. Now really let me have it this time.
Maggie: Okay, Ben. If you're sure.
Ben: Ai-yah!
Maggie: (hitting Ben) Oh! Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, Ben! Are you all right, sweetheart? Oh! Oh, honey!
Mike: Hey, you know, Ben, I've been thinking about your problem. And I really think that if you keep up this karate, and you study real hard for the next three years, you could take mom. After that, who knows; grandma, Carol, probably most of the girls at school.
Ben: My mother clocks me. My brother makes fun of me. How much worse can this get?
[Dream sequence: Enter The Wimp]
Maggie: Hey, you, little blond boy. I see you are depressed¹³ and humiliated¹⁴.
Ben: Oh, please, mom. Don't make fun of me.
Maggie: Don't be silly, little blond boy. I would never do such a thing. Unless I had help of course, from family and friends.
Jason: You are so very weak. I have replaced your CD's with….Perry Como records.
Mike: And painted your guitar.
Luke: And stolen your girlfriends.
Jason: And put new sheets on your bed decorated with tiny hearts and flowers.
Ben: Come on, you guys.
Entire family: (karate sounds)
Maggie: I grow weary of these attacks. Let his friends at school attack him.
Ben: No, please, mom, don't make me go to school.
Maggie: Have no fear, little blond boy. We shall send you to school with a fearsome bodyguard¹⁵.
Chrissy: Ai-yah! I will protect you, little blond boy. And then I shall laugh in your face. (laughing)
Maggie: Hey, Ben. You didn't finish your breakfast.
Ben: Mom, I made my decision. I'm quitting karate.
Maggie: You want to quit?
Ben: Yeah. I'd quit school but it's illegal. I'd quit the family but I'd starve. Look, you mind if I stay home from school today? I'm not feeling so good.
Maggie: I guess it's all right.
Ben: Thanks.
Car buyer2: Well, it certainly looks fine. I'll take it!
Dwight: Oh, there are a couple of problems that you should probably….
Mike: Uh, say, Dwight, uh. Do you happen to have the same craving¹⁶ for some port wine cheese balls as I do?
Dwight: Why, yes I do. I thought it was just me.
Mike: Boy, I say, why don't you go whip us up some, and I'll, uh, close the deal.
Dwight: Sure.
Car buyer2: What are these problems he's talking about?
Mike: Oh, oh, nothing ma'am. That's just Dwight. He, he happens to think that we're not charging enough. But since when is selling a car about making money? It's about people helping¹⁷ people, right?
Car buyer2: (sighing) Isn't that sweet! (gasping) Say, what's that black puddle¹⁸ under there?
Mike: Oh, uh, th-that's perfectly¹⁹ normal. Uh, it's, well, just the same way that your body sweats, uh, a car releases moisture. It's, uh, a sign of health.
Car buyer2: Well, my friends say I should have it checked by a mechanic, but you have such an honest face. Shall I make the check out to you?
Mike: Yes. No! Uh, yes. No, no! Ma'am, it's a rolling death trap. Quick! Get out of here before I sell it to you again.
Dwight: Well, well, well. You told the truth.
Mike: Well, I didn't mean to. It just slipped out.
Dwight: Cheese ball?
Mike: Dufus! Oh, sorry.
Dwight: Well, Mike, I guess you're right. We'll never sell the car by telling the truth.
Mike: Oh, yeah? Well, I got an idea. Dwight, you pop the hood²⁰. I'm gonna get my tools. You and I are gonna fix this car.
Mike: Dwight, that's the trunk.
Dwight: Oh, my God! Where have I been putting the oil?
Jason: Okay. All right. We'll deal with Ben your way.
Maggie: Trust me, Jason, it'll work.
Jason: Last time you said that we had to get married.
Maggie: Oh! He's coming.
Jason: Hey, Ben. Your mom says you want to give up karate lessons.
Ben: Look, dad. I tried; I failed; my life is ruined.
Jason: C'mon, that eye's gonna be fine. But there's no reason why you can't go right back to karate class.
Maggie: Jason, what are you talking about? The next person he fights might not love him like I do.
Jason: Well, I don't want our son to give up just because he got hurt, Maggie.
Maggie: Jason, he wasn't just hurt. He was taken out, flattened²¹, destroyed! By his mommy! I'm sorry, pookie, does it still hurt?
Ben: No! I've made peace with being a four-eyed geek, whose butt²² was kicked by his mother.
Jason: Ben, I don't want you to quit, and I'm gonna tell you why.
Ben: Oh, please, dad. No pep talks.
Jason: Oh, come on. I mean, you've been down before, Ben, and every time you've been down before, you've reached down deeper for some of that "heck, I can do it" Seaver spirit, right?
Ben: And I thought you were gonna give me a pep talk.
Jason: And what about the cap thing?
Maggie: Oh, it's very simple. From now on, we dress him in plain, generic²³ clothes that no other kid would be caught dead in.
Ben: Wait a minute….
Maggie: Jason, let him quit.
Jason: Oh, we still gotta eat the cost of those karate lessons.
Maggie: Well, Chrissy can take them.
Jason: Ah.
Maggie: Honey, we should just face it. It's obvious that Ben doesn't have the talent, the drive, or the ability.
Jason: God knows, he's a klutz.
Ben: Okay, okay. I'm starting to feel that "heck, I can do it" Seaver spirit. Mom, dad, I'm going back to karate. And you know, you guys used to be much better at this "good cop, bad cop" thing.
Maggie: So, would you glad trust me?
Jason: Both times.
Sim: Let's go! Huh!
Sim: Recall your kicks.
Maggie: That's great! Great!
Car Buyer3: She's kinda old. How's she holding up?
Mike: Just like brand new, because I have, and may a satellite strike me if I'm lying, not only tuned²⁴ it up, but I have changed the brakes, I've checked the alignment²⁵, fixed²⁶ the fuel pump, I have replaced all the hoses, and preset all the radio stations.
Car buyer3: Sounds great! Will you accept a personal check?
Dwight: No!
Car buyer3: Even with two forms of ID?
Dwight: No!
Car buyer3: All right, I'll offer you cash.
Dwight: No! We're not selling.
Mike: Dwight! We're not what?
Dwight: Mike, I only wanted to sell it cause it went (car noises), and now that's gone! It's going vroom-vroom! And my heart's going thawagada-thawagada-thawagada.
Mike: Dwight, will you join me for a minute in this time zone?
Dwight: Mike, thanks to you I love my car again. And we're not selling!
Mike: Dwight! You cheese-eating, tangle-haired, medieval moron²⁷! I put over $500 of labor²⁸ into this hunk of junk!
Dwight: Thank you.
Luke: Woo! Hey, Ben! Looking fresh.
Ben: Thanks.
Ben: Well, it's Becka. Finally I'm ready to talk to her.
Luke: If Becka's around, so is Razor.
Ben: Don't worry about it. I know what to do.
Ben: Hi, Becka.
Becka: Hi, Ben.
Razor: Hi, geek.
Ben: The name's Ben.
Razor: Oh, that's right. You had it written inside my new hat.
Ben: Look, I don't want any trouble.
Razor: Oh, yeah? Well, you know what I want? I want that nice, new jacket you've got on.
Ben: Okay, he's facing me three-quarters to the left. That leaves him wide open for a fake jab, step in, back-kick to the ribs²⁹, and I can finish him off with a palm thrust to the nose.
Razor: What are you staring at, geek? Am I gonna have to bust³⁰ you one? I said give it to me now.
Luke: Somebody get the nurse, quick, this guys hurt.
Razor: What are you staring at, geek? Am I gonna have to bust you one? I said give it to me now.
Luke: No. I'm not giving you this jacket, or anything else ever again.
Razor: Whoa! Big man, huh? Big words. All right, geek, c'mon, let's throw. Show me what you've got, tough guy, huh! C'mon, let's go for it right here, right now! Go for it!
Luke: He's wide open. The dude will never see it coming. Control. Don't touch him unless you have to.
Razor: C'mon, geek, let's go for it. Huh! Huh! (clucking)
Ben: I'm not gonna fight you.
Razor: Did you hear that? He said he's not gonna fight me, huh. What am I supposed to do, huh? Stand on his feet, and use him like a punching bag? (laughing) Look at the dude, he's frozen. Come on, babe, let's get out of here.
Luke: Hey, man, you were amazing.
Ben: Thanks. I came real close to getting ugly.
Luke: Well, speaking of ugly, you can forget about Becka. She's not worth it.
Gail: Excuse, me. Ben?
Ben: Yeah?
Gail: I really like the way you handled that creep.
Ben: Thanks.
Gail: Save you a seat at lunch?
Ben: Sure. I'm always hungry.

1 weird   

adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的

参考例句：

• From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。
• His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。

2 jersey   

n.运动衫

参考例句：

• He wears a cotton jersey when he plays football.他穿运动衫踢足球。
• They were dressed alike in blue jersey and knickers.他们穿着一致，都是蓝色的运动衫和灯笼短裤。

3 karate   

n.空手道(日本的一种徒手武术)

参考例句：

• Alice's boyfriend knew a little karate.艾丽斯的男朋友懂一点儿空手道。
• The black belt is the highest level in karate.黑腰带级是空手道的最高级别。

4 bullies   

n.欺凌弱小者, 开球 vt.恐吓, 威胁, 欺负

参考例句：

• Standing up to bullies takes plenty of backbone. 勇敢地对付暴徒需有大无畏精神。
• Bullies can make your life hell. 恃强欺弱者能让你的日子像活地狱。

5 certified   

a.经证明合格的；具有证明文件的

参考例句：

• Doctors certified him as insane. 医生证明他精神失常。
• The planes were certified airworthy. 飞机被证明适于航行。

6 philosophical   

adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的

参考例句：

• The teacher couldn't answer the philosophical problem.老师不能解答这个哲学问题。
• She is very philosophical about her bad luck.她对自己的不幸看得很开。

7 graceful   

adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的

参考例句：

• His movements on the parallel bars were very graceful.他的双杠动作可帅了!
• The ballet dancer is so graceful.芭蕾舞演员的姿态是如此的优美。

8 bully   

n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮

参考例句：

• A bully is always a coward.暴汉常是懦夫。
• The boy gave the bully a pelt on the back with a pebble.那男孩用石子掷击小流氓的背脊。

9 omen   

n.征兆，预兆；vt.预示

参考例句：

• The superstitious regard it as a bad omen.迷信的人认为那是一种恶兆。
• Could this at last be a good omen for peace?这是否终于可以视作和平的吉兆了？

10 accentuating   

v.重读( accentuate的现在分词 )；使突出；使恶化；加重音符号于

参考例句：

• Elegant interior design accentuating the unique feeling of space. 优雅的室内设计突显了独特的空间感。 来自互联网
• Accentuating the positive is an article of faith here. 强调积极面在这里已变成一种信仰。 来自互联网

11 hatred   

n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨

参考例句：

• He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.他以憎恨的眼光望着我。
• The old man was seized with burning hatred for the fascists.老人对法西斯主义者充满了仇恨。

12 dexterity   

n.(手的)灵巧，灵活

参考例句：

• You need manual dexterity to be good at video games.玩好电子游戏手要灵巧。
• I'm your inferior in manual dexterity.论手巧，我不如你。

13 depressed   

adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的

参考例句：

• When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
• His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。

14 humiliated   

感到羞愧的

参考例句：

• Parents are humiliated if their children behave badly when guests are present. 子女在客人面前举止失当，父母也失体面。
• He was ashamed and bitterly humiliated. 他感到羞耻，丢尽了面子。

15 bodyguard   

n.护卫，保镖

参考例句：

• She has to have an armed bodyguard wherever she goes.她不管到哪儿都得有带武器的保镖跟从。
• The big guy standing at his side may be his bodyguard.站在他身旁的那个大个子可能是他的保镖。

16 craving   

n.渴望,热望

参考例句：

• a craving for chocolate 非常想吃巧克力
• She skipped normal meals to satisfy her craving for chocolate and crisps. 她不吃正餐，以便满足自己吃巧克力和炸薯片的渴望。

17 helping   

n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的

参考例句：

• The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
• By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。

18 puddle   

n.(雨)水坑，泥潭

参考例句：

• The boy hopped the mud puddle and ran down the walk.这个男孩跳过泥坑，沿着人行道跑了。
• She tripped over and landed in a puddle.她绊了一下，跌在水坑里。

19 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

20 hood   

n.头巾，兜帽，覆盖；v.罩上，以头巾覆盖

参考例句：

• She is wearing a red cloak with a hood.她穿着一件红色带兜帽的披风。
• The car hood was dented in.汽车的发动机罩已凹了进去。

21 flattened   

[医]（水）平扁的，弄平的

参考例句：

• She flattened her nose and lips against the window. 她把鼻子和嘴唇紧贴着窗户。
• I flattened myself against the wall to let them pass. 我身体紧靠着墙让他们通过。

22 butt   

n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶

参考例句：

• The water butt catches the overflow from this pipe.大水桶盛接管子里流出的东西。
• He was the butt of their jokes.他是他们的笑柄。

23 generic   

adj.一般的，普通的，共有的

参考例句：

• I usually buy generic clothes instead of name brands.我通常买普通的衣服，不买名牌。
• The generic woman appears to have an extraordinary faculty for swallowing the individual.一般妇女在婚后似乎有特别突出的抑制个性的能力。

24 tuned   

adj.调谐的，已调谐的v.调音( tune的过去式和过去分词 )；调整；（给收音机、电视等）调谐；使协调

参考例句：

• The resort is tuned in to the tastes of young and old alike. 这个度假胜地适合各种口味，老少皆宜。
• The instruments should be tuned up before each performance. 每次演出开始前都应将乐器调好音。 来自《简明英汉词典》

25 alignment   

n.队列；结盟，联合

参考例句：

• The church should have no political alignment.教会不应与政治结盟。
• Britain formed a close alignment with Egypt in the last century.英国在上个世纪与埃及结成了紧密的联盟。

26 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

27 moron   

n.极蠢之人，低能儿

参考例句：

• I used to think that Gordon was a moron.我曾以为戈登是个白痴。
• He's an absolute moron!他纯粹是个傻子！

28 labor   

n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦

参考例句：

• We are never late in satisfying him for his labor.我们从不延误付给他劳动报酬。
• He was completely spent after two weeks of hard labor.艰苦劳动两周后，他已经疲惫不堪了。

29 ribs   

n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 )；（船或屋顶等的）肋拱；肋骨状的东西；（织物的）凸条花纹

参考例句：

• He suffered cracked ribs and bruising. 他断了肋骨还有挫伤。
• Make a small incision below the ribs. 在肋骨下方切开一个小口。

30 bust   

vt.打破；vi.爆裂；n.半身像；胸部

参考例句：

• I dropped my camera on the pavement and bust it. 我把照相机掉在人行道上摔坏了。
• She has worked up a lump of clay into a bust.她把一块黏土精心制作成一个半身像。