《柯南脱口秀》第127期:家里最丑的人

 All right,let's talk about meet the Smiths.You've got a reality show. 我们聊聊《史密斯一家》吧 你有一部真人秀

You've got your family involved.Do your daughters,you know,I think of you as a very cool guy. 你的家人参演了 你的女儿们 我觉得你是个很酷的人

But your kids aren't having it.are they?They don't think of you as cool. 但是你孩子们并不这样认为 对吧 她们觉得你不酷

No,I'm not the jet¹ at home.You know,by far. 是啊 我在家里不是喷气机 到目前为止不是

My daughters,one is super sarcastic,Monique.She is the most sacrastic. 我女儿莫妮克超级毒舌 她最毒舌了

Kayla is an artist.She has a single out called "Honest" on ITunes and going out.She's touring the world,whatever. 凯拉是个艺术家 她在iTunes上有一首单曲叫《诚实》 她喜欢出门 她在环游世界

But they come home and they're like,you're not cool,daddy.Listen,first of all,I'm the coolest person in my circle.Start here. 但她们回家就说 你不酷 爸爸 我说首先 我是我们圈子里最酷的 先说这个

The people you think are cool,they think I'm cool.Ask Drake.Jay-Z.They watch me on TV.I got to be cool. 然后我说 你们觉得酷的人 他们觉得我很酷 去问德雷克 杰斯 他们在电视上看着我呢 我必须很酷

But they don't have it.You can hang out with Drake and Jay-Z and you kids idolize them but they look at you and think you're a dork.I'm not cool,you are a idiot².Doesn't make any sense. 但她们不觉得 真疯狂 你可以跟德雷克和杰斯一起玩 你的孩子们崇拜他们 但她们看着你觉得 我不酷 你是个呆子 这讲不通

Two years ago,at the final four Jay-Z is walking through,hey kenny.I'm like,this is my son and my daughter.They're like you know Jay-Z? 两年前 决赛四强时 杰斯走了过来 他说 你好啊 肯尼 我说 这是我的儿子和女儿 他们说 你认识杰斯吗

What does he do on a tour bus?He watches sports.They know us.Don't you think it's a kind of 他在旅游车上干什么 他看球赛啊 他们认识我们 但你不觉得这有点

I like it.Like my kids,nothing I do is cool to them.They just think I'm a complete ass³ and they don't,they do. 我喜欢 跟我的孩子一样 他们觉得我做的一切事都不酷 他们觉得我是个大混蛋 真的

They're like,oh,that guy.When is he leaving?I think that's the way it is supposed to be. 他们说那个人啊 他什么时候走啊 我觉得就该是这样

I think we're supposed to be uncool.This is the worst part about now having an unscripted reality show.Even my wife. 我觉得我们应该不酷 但这是现在我在拍无剧本的真人秀 这是最糟糕的部分 甚至我妻子也是

She works⁴ for "price is right."I know I'm the ugliest guy in the house.oh,no,no.Not even close.No.Just doing it because Andy did it. 她是《价格竞猜》的工作人员 我知道我是家里最丑的人 不 不 不 差远了 不 我这样做只是因为安迪这样做了

 

1 jet   

n.喷气发动机，喷气式飞机；v.喷出，喷射

参考例句：

• Put a match to the jet to light the gas.将火柴放在煤气喷嘴上点燃煤气。
• I don't see the jet of your plan.我不明白你的计划的要点。

2 idiot   

n.白痴，傻子，笨蛋

参考例句：

• Only an idiot would make such a thoughtless remark.只有草包才会说出这样没有头脑的话来。
• You are behaving like a perfect idiot.你表现得像个十足的白痴。

3 ass   

n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人

参考例句：

• He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
• An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。

4 works   

n.作品，著作；工厂，活动部件，机件

参考例句：

• We expect writers to produce more and better works.我们期望作家们写出更多更好的作品。
• The novel is regarded as one of the classic works.这篇小说被公认为是最优秀的作品之一。