1-20

 

20.

I forget who used the word first. Someone in the press, probably. Or one of my teachers. Whoever—it took hold and circulated. I’d been cast in my role in the Rolling Royal Melodrama¹. Longbefore I was old enough to drink a beer (legally) it became dogma.

Harry²? Yeah, he’s the naughty one.

Naughty became the tide I swam against, the headwind I flew against, the daily expectation Icould never hope to shake.

I didn’t want to be naughty. I wanted to be noble. I wanted to be good, work hard, grow up anddo something meaningful with my days. But every sin, every misstep, every setback³ triggered thesame tired label, and the same public condemnations, and thereby⁴ reinforced the conventionalwisdom that I was innately⁵ naughty.

Things might have been different if I’d achieved good grades. But I didn’t and everyone knewit. My reports were in the public domain⁶. The whole Commonwealth⁷ was aware of my academicstruggles, which were largely due to being overmatched at Eton.

But no one ever discussed the other probable cause.

Mummy.

Study, concentration, requires an alliance with the mind, and in my teen years I was wagingall-out war with mine. I was forever fending⁸ off its darkest thoughts, its basest fears—its fondestmemories. (The fonder the memory, the deeper the ache.) I’d found strategies for doing this, somehealthy, some not, but all quite effective, and whenever they were unavailable—for instance, whenI was forced to sit quietly with a book—I freaked out. Naturally, I avoided such situations.

At all costs, I avoided sitting quietly with a book.

It struck me at some point that the whole basis of education was memory. A list of names, acolumn of numbers, a mathematical formula, a beautiful poem—to learn it you had to upload it tothe part of the brain that stored stuff, but that was the same part of my brain I was resisting. Mymemory had been spotty since Mummy disappeared, by design, and I didn’t want to fix it, becausememory equaled grief.

Not remembering was balm.

It’s also possible that I’m misremembering my own struggles with memory from back then,because I do recall being very good at memorizing some things, like long passages from AceVentura and The Lion King. I’d recite them often, to mates, to myself. Also, there’s a photo of me,sitting in my room, at my pull-out desk, and there amid the cubbyholes and chaotic⁹ papers sits asilver-framed photo of Mummy. So. Despite my clear memory of not wanting to remember her, Iwas also trying gamely not to forget her.

Difficult as it was for me to be the naughty one, and the stupid one, it was anguish¹⁰ for Pa,because it meant I was his opposite.

What troubled him most was how I went out of my way to avoid books. Pa didn’t merelyenjoy books, he exalted¹¹ them. Especially Shakespeare. He adored Henry V. He compared himselfto Prince Hal. There were multiple Falstaffs in his life, like Lord Mountbatten, his beloved great-uncle, and Laurens van der Post, the irascible intellectual acolyte¹² of Carl Jung.

When I was about six or seven, Pa went to Stratford and delivered a fiery¹³ public defense¹⁴ ofShakespeare. Standing¹⁵ in the place where Britain’s greatest writer was born and died, Pa decriedthe neglect of Shakespeare’s plays in schools, the fading of Shakespeare from British classrooms,and from the nation’s collective consciousness. Pa peppered this fiery oration¹⁶ with quotations¹⁷ fromHamlet, Macbeth, Othello, The Tempest, The Merchant of Venice—he plucked the lines from thinair, like petals¹⁸ from one of his homegrown roses, and tossed them into the audience. It wasshowmanship, but not in an empty way. He was making the point: You should all be able to dothis. You should all know these lines. They’re our shared heritage, we should be cherishing them,safeguarding them, and instead we’re letting them die.

I never doubted how much it upset Pa that I was part of the Shakespeare-less hordes¹⁹. And Itried to change. I opened Hamlet. Hmm: Lonely prince, obsessed²⁰ with dead parent, watchesremaining parent fall in love with dead parent’s usurper…?

I slammed it shut. No, thank you.

Pa never stopped fighting the good fight. He was spending more time at Highgrove, his 350-acre estate in Gloucestershire, and it was just down the road from Stratford, so he made a point oftaking me now and then. We’d turn up unannounced, watch whatever play they were putting on, itdidn’t matter to Pa. Didn’t matter to me either, though for different reasons.

It was all torture.

On many nights I didn’t understand most of what was taking place or being said onstage. Butwhen I did understand, worse for me. The words burned. They troubled. Why would I want to hearabout a grief-stricken kingdom “contracted in one brow of woe”? That just put me in mind ofAugust 1997. Why would I want to meditate²¹ upon the inalterable fact that “all that lives must die,passing through nature to eternity²²…”? I had no time to think about eternity.

The one piece of literature I remember enjoying, even savoring²³, was a slender American novel.

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. We were assigned it in our English divs.

Unlike Shakespeare, Steinbeck didn’t need a translator. He wrote in plain, simple vernacular²⁴.

Better yet, he kept it tight. Of Mice and Men: a brisk 150 pages.

Best of all, its plot was diverting. Two blokes, George and Lennie, gadding²⁵ about California,looking for a place to call their own, trying to overcome their limitations. Neither’s a genius, butLennie’s trouble seems to be more than low IQ. He keeps a dead mouse in his pocket, strokes itwith his thumb—for comfort. He also loves a puppy so much that he kills it.

A story about friendship, about brotherhood²⁶, about loyalty²⁷, it was filled with themes I foundrelatable. George and Lennie put me in mind of Willy and me. Two pals²⁸, two nomads²⁹, goingthrough the same things, watching each other’s back. As Steinbeck has one character say: “A guyneeds somebody—to be near him. A guy goes nuts if he ain’t got nobody.”

So true. I wanted to share it with Willy.

Too bad he was still pretending not to know me.

 

1 melodrama   

n.音乐剧；情节剧

参考例句：

• We really don't need all this ridiculous melodrama!别跟我们来这套荒唐的情节剧表演！
• White Haired Woman was a melodrama,but in certain spots it was deliberately funny.《白毛女》是一出悲剧性的歌剧，但也有不少插科打诨。

2 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

3 setback   

n.退步，挫折，挫败

参考例句：

• Since that time there has never been any setback in his career.从那时起他在事业上一直没有遇到周折。
• She views every minor setback as a disaster.她把每个较小的挫折都看成重大灾难。

4 thereby   

adv.因此，从而

参考例句：

• I have never been to that city,,ereby I don't know much about it.我从未去过那座城市，因此对它不怎么熟悉。
• He became a British citizen,thereby gaining the right to vote.他成了英国公民，因而得到了投票权。

5 innately   

adv.天赋地；内在地，固有地

参考例句：

• Innately conservative, Confucius was fascinated by the last of these disciplines. 由于生性保守，孔子特别推崇“礼”。 来自英汉非文学 - 文明史
• Different individuals are innately fitted for different kinds of employment. 不同的人适合不同的职业，这是天生的。 来自互联网

6 domain   

n.(活动等)领域，范围；领地，势力范围

参考例句：

• This information should be in the public domain.这一消息应该为公众所知。
• This question comes into the domain of philosophy.这一问题属于哲学范畴。

7 commonwealth   

n.共和国，联邦，共同体

参考例句：

• He is the chairman of the commonwealth of artists.他是艺术家协会的主席。
• Most of the members of the Commonwealth are nonwhite.英联邦的许多成员国不是白人国家。

8 fending   

v.独立生活，照料自己( fend的现在分词 )；挡开，避开

参考例句：

• He is always spending his time fending with the neighbors. 他总是与邻里们吵架。 来自互联网
• Fifth, it is to build safeguarding system and enhance the competence in fending off the risk. 五是建立政策保障体系，提高防范和抵御风险的能力。 来自互联网

9 chaotic   

adj.混沌的，一片混乱的，一团糟的

参考例句：

• Things have been getting chaotic in the office recently.最近办公室的情况越来越乱了。
• The traffic in the city was chaotic.这城市的交通糟透了。

10 anguish   

n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼

参考例句：

• She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时，她由于痛苦而失声大哭。
• The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。

11 exalted   

adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的

参考例句：

• Their loveliness and holiness in accordance with their exalted station.他们的美丽和圣洁也与他们的崇高地位相称。
• He received respect because he was a person of exalted rank.他因为是个地位崇高的人而受到尊敬。

12 acolyte   

n.助手，侍僧

参考例句：

• To his acolytes,he is known simply as "the Boss".他被手下人简称为“老板”。
• Richard Brome,an acolyte of Ben Jonson's,wrote "The Jovial Crew" in 1641.本•琼森的仆人理查德•布罗姆在1641年写了《一伙快活人》。

13 fiery   

adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的

参考例句：

• She has fiery red hair.她有一头火红的头发。
• His fiery speech agitated the crowd.他热情洋溢的讲话激动了群众。

14 defense   

n.防御，保卫；[pl.]防务工事；辩护，答辩

参考例句：

• The accused has the right to defense.被告人有权获得辩护。
• The war has impacted the area with military and defense workers.战争使那个地区挤满了军队和防御工程人员。

15 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

16 oration   

n.演说，致辞，叙述法

参考例句：

• He delivered an oration on the decline of family values.他发表了有关家庭价值观的衰退的演说。
• He was asked to deliver an oration at the meeting.他被邀请在会议上发表演说。

17 quotations   

n.引用( quotation的名词复数 )；[商业]行情（报告）；（货物或股票的）市价；时价

参考例句：

• The insurance company requires three quotations for repairs to the car. 保险公司要修理这辆汽车的三家修理厂的报价单。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• These quotations cannot readily be traced to their sources. 这些引语很难查出出自何处。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

18 petals   

n.花瓣( petal的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• white petals tinged with blue 略带蓝色的白花瓣
• The petals of many flowers expand in the sunshine. 许多花瓣在阳光下开放。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

19 hordes   

n.移动着的一大群( horde的名词复数 )；部落

参考例句：

• There are always hordes of tourists here in the summer. 夏天这里总有成群结队的游客。
• Hordes of journalists jostled for position outside the conference hall. 大群记者在会堂外争抢位置。 来自《简明英汉词典》

20 obsessed   

adj.心神不宁的,鬼迷心窍的,沉迷的

参考例句：

• He's obsessed by computers. 他迷上了电脑。
• The fear of death obsessed him throughout his old life. 他晚年一直受着死亡恐惧的困扰。

21 meditate   

v.想，考虑，（尤指宗教上的）沉思，冥想

参考例句：

• It is important to meditate on the meaning of life.思考人生的意义很重要。
• I was meditating,and reached a higher state of consciousness.我在冥想，并进入了一个更高的意识境界。

22 eternity   

n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷

参考例句：

• The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。
• Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞，永世相随。

23 savoring   

v.意味，带有…的性质( savor的现在分词 )；给…加调味品；使有风味；品尝

参考例句：

• Cooking was fine but it was the savoring that he enjoyed most. 烹饪当然很好，但他最享受的是闻到的各种味道。 来自互联网
• She sat there for a moment, savoring the smell of the food. 她在那儿坐了一会儿，品尝这些食物的香味。 来自互联网

24 vernacular   

adj.地方的，用地方语写成的；n.白话；行话；本国语；动植物的俗名

参考例句：

• The house is built in a vernacular style.这房子按当地的风格建筑。
• The traditional Chinese vernacular architecture is an epitome of Chinese traditional culture.中国传统民居建筑可谓中国传统文化的缩影。

25 gadding   

n.叮搔症adj.蔓生的v.闲逛( gad的现在分词 )；游荡；找乐子；用铁棒刺

参考例句：

• She likes gadding about while the children are at school. 孩子们在学校里的时候，她喜欢到处逛逛。 来自辞典例句
• We spent the whole day gadding about Paris. 我们一整天都在巴黎游玩。 来自辞典例句

26 brotherhood   

n.兄弟般的关系，手中情谊

参考例句：

• They broke up the brotherhood.他们断绝了兄弟关系。
• They live and work together in complete equality and brotherhood.他们完全平等和兄弟般地在一起生活和工作。

27 loyalty   

n.忠诚，忠心

参考例句：

• She told him the truth from a sense of loyalty.她告诉他真相是出于忠诚。
• His loyalty to his friends was never in doubt.他对朋友的一片忠心从来没受到怀疑。

28 pals   

n.朋友( pal的名词复数 )；老兄；小子；（对男子的不友好的称呼）家伙

参考例句：

• We've been pals for years. 我们是多年的哥们儿了。
• CD 8 positive cells remarkably increased in PALS and RP(P CD8+细胞在再生脾PALS和RP内均明显增加(P 来自互联网

29 nomads   

n.游牧部落的一员( nomad的名词复数 )；流浪者；游牧生活；流浪生活

参考例句：

• For ten years she dwelled among the nomads of North America. 她在北美游牧民中生活了十年。
• Nomads have inhabited this region for thousands of years. 游牧民族在这地区居住已有数千年了。 来自《简明英汉词典》