2-80

 

80.

People often speculated that I was clinging to my bachelor life because it was so glamorous¹. Manyevenings I’d think: If only they could see me now.

Then I’d go back to folding my underwear and watching “The One with Monica andChandler’s Wedding.”

Besides my own laundry (often laid out to dry on my radiators) I did my own chores, my owncooking, my own food shopping. There was a supermarket by the Palace and I went there,casually, at least once a week.

Of course I’d plan each trip as carefully as a patrol around Musa Qala. I’d arrive at differenttimes, randomly³, to throw off the press. I’d wear a disguise: low baseball cap, loose coat. I’d runalong the aisles⁴ at warp⁵ speed, grabbing the salmon⁶ fillets I liked, the brand of yogurt I liked. (I’dmemorized a map of the store.) Plus a few Granny Smith apples and bananas. And, of course,some crisps.

Then I’d sprint⁷ to the checkout⁸.

Just as I’d honed my preflight checks in the Apache, I now honed my grocery shopping timedown to ten minutes. But one night I got to the shop and began to run up and down the aisles andeverything…had moved.

I hurried over to an employee: What’s happened?

Excuse me?

Where is everything?

Where is—?

Why has everything moved?

Honestly?

Yes, honestly.

To keep people here longer. So they’ll buy more stuff.

I was gobsmacked. You can do that? By law?

A bit panicky, I resumed running up and down the aisles, filling my trolley⁹ as best I could,keeping an eye on the clock, then rushed to the checkout. That was always the trickiest¹⁰ part,because there was no honing the checkout: it all depended on others. More, the checkout counterstood right beside the news racks, which held every British tabloid¹¹ and magazine, and half thefront pages and magazine covers were photos of my family. Or my mum. Or me.

More than once I watched customers read about me, overheard them debating me. In 2015 Ioverheard them frequently discussing whether or not I’d ever marry. Whether or not I was happy.

Whether or not I might be gay. I was always tempted¹² to tap them on the shoulder…Ello.

One night, in disguise, watching some people discuss me and my life choices, I became awareof raised voices at the front of the queue. An older married couple, abusing the cashier. It wasunpleasant at first, then intolerable.

I stepped forward, showed my face, cleared my throat: Excuse me. Not sure what’s going onhere, but I don’t think you should be speaking to her like that.

The cashier was on the verge¹³ of tears. The couple abusing her turned and recognized me. Theyweren’t in the least surprised, however. Just offended to be called out on their abuse.

When they left, when it came my turn to pay, the cashier tried to thank me as she bagged myavocados. I wouldn’t hear of it. I told her to hang in there, scooped¹⁴ up my things and ran, like theGreen Hornet.

Shopping for clothes was so much less complicated.

As a rule I didn’t think about clothing. I didn’t fundamentally believe in fashion, and Icouldn’t understand why anybody would. I often got mocked on social media for my mismatchedoutfits, my ratty shoes. Writers would flag a photo of me and wonder why my trousers were solong, my shirts so crumpled¹⁶. (They didn’t dream that I’d dried them on the radiator².)Not very princely, they’d say.

Right you are, I’d think.

My father tried. He gave me an absolutely gorgeous pair of black brogues. Works of art.

Weighed as much as bowling¹⁷ balls. I wore them until the soles developed holes, and when I wasmocked for wearing holey shoes I finally got them fixed¹⁸.

Each year I received from Pa an official clothing allowance, but that was strictly¹⁹ for formalwear. Suits and ties, ceremonial outfits¹⁵. For my everyday casual clothes I’d go to T.K. Maxx, thediscount store. I was particularly fond of their once-a-year sale, when they’d be flush with itemsfrom Gap or J.Crew, items that had just gone out of season or were slightly damaged. If you timedit just right, got there on the first day of the sale, you could snag the same clothes that others werepaying top prices for down the high street! With two hundred quid you could look like a fashionplate.

Here, too, I had a system. Get to the shop fifteen minutes before closing time. Grab a redbucket. Hurry to the top floor. Begin systematically²⁰ working up one rack and down another.

If I found something promising²¹ I’d hold it up to my chest or legs, standing²² in front of a mirror.

I never dawdled²³ over color or style and certainly never went anywhere near a changing room. If itlooked nice, comfortable, into the bucket it went. If I was on the fence about it, I’d ask Billy theRock. He delighted in moonlighting as my stylist.

At closing time we’d run out with two giant shopping bags, feeling triumphant²⁴. Now thepapers wouldn’t call me a slob. At least for a little while.

Far better, I wouldn’t have to think about clothes again for another six months.

 

1 glamorous   

adj.富有魅力的；美丽动人的；令人向往的

参考例句：

• The south coast is less glamorous but full of clean and attractive hotels.南海岸魅力稍逊，但却有很多干净漂亮的宾馆。
• It is hard work and not a glamorous job as portrayed by the media.这是份苦差，并非像媒体描绘的那般令人向往。

2 radiator   

n.暖气片，散热器

参考例句：

• The two ends of the pipeline are connected with the radiator.管道的两端与暖气片相连接。
• Top up the radiator before making a long journey.在长途旅行前加满散热器。

3 randomly   

adv.随便地，未加计划地

参考例句：

• Within the hot gas chamber, molecules are moving randomly in all directions. 在灼热的气体燃烧室内，分子在各个方向上作无规运动。 来自辞典例句
• Transformed cells are loosely attached, rounded and randomly oriented. 转化细胞则不大贴壁、圆缩并呈杂乱分布。 来自辞典例句

4 aisles   

n. (席位间的)通道, 侧廊

参考例句：

• Aisles were added to the original Saxon building in the Norman period. 在诺曼时期，原来的萨克森风格的建筑物都增添了走廊。
• They walked about the Abbey aisles, and presently sat down. 他们走到大教堂的走廊附近，并且很快就坐了下来。

5 warp   

vt.弄歪，使翘曲，使不正常，歪曲，使有偏见

参考例句：

• The damp wood began to warp.这块潮湿的木材有些翘曲了。
• A steel girder may warp in a fire.钢梁遇火会变弯。

6 salmon   

n.鲑，大马哈鱼，橙红色的

参考例句：

• We saw a salmon jumping in the waterfall there.我们看见一条大马哈鱼在那边瀑布中跳跃。
• Do you have any fresh salmon in at the moment?现在有新鲜大马哈鱼卖吗？

7 sprint   

n.短距离赛跑；vi. 奋力而跑，冲刺；vt.全速跑过

参考例句：

• He put on a sprint to catch the bus.他全速奔跑以赶上公共汽车。
• The runner seemed to be rallied for a final sprint.这名赛跑者似乎在振作精神作最后的冲刺。

8 checkout   

n.（超市等）收银台，付款处

参考例句：

• Could you pay at the checkout.你能在结帐处付款吗。
• A man was wheeling his shopping trolley to the checkout.一个男人正推着购物车向付款台走去。

9 trolley   

n.手推车，台车；无轨电车；有轨电车

参考例句：

• The waiter had brought the sweet trolley.侍者已经推来了甜食推车。
• In a library,books are moved on a trolley.在图书馆，书籍是放在台车上搬动的。

10 trickiest   

adj.狡猾的( tricky的最高级 )；（形势、工作等）复杂的；机警的；微妙的

参考例句：

• Many believe this is the trickiest area to navigate. 很多人认为这是最难驾驭的领域。 来自时文部分
• Establishing confidence in a new monetary system was the trickiest part. 建立对新货币体系的信心是其最棘手的部分。 来自互联网

11 tabloid   

adj.轰动性的，庸俗的；n.小报，文摘

参考例句：

• He launched into a verbal assault on tabloid journalism.他口头对小报新闻进行了抨击。
• He believes that the tabloid press has behaved disgracefully.他认为小报媒体的行为不太光彩。

12 tempted   

v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词）

参考例句：

• I was sorely tempted to complain, but I didn't. 我极想发牢骚，但还是没开口。
• I was tempted by the dessert menu. 甜食菜单馋得我垂涎欲滴。

13 verge   

n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临

参考例句：

• The country's economy is on the verge of collapse.国家的经济已到了崩溃的边缘。
• She was on the verge of bursting into tears.她快要哭出来了。

14 scooped   

v.抢先报道( scoop的过去式和过去分词 )；（敏捷地）抱起；抢先获得；用铲[勺]等挖（洞等）

参考例句：

• They scooped the other newspapers by revealing the matter. 他们抢先报道了这件事。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The wheels scooped up stones which hammered ominously under the car. 车轮搅起的石块，在车身下发出不吉祥的锤击声。 来自《简明英汉词典》

15 outfits   

n.全套装备( outfit的名词复数 )；一套服装；集体；组织v.装备，配置设备，供给服装( outfit的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• He jobbed out the contract to a number of small outfits. 他把承包工程分包给许多小单位。 来自辞典例句
• Some cyclists carry repair outfits because they may have a puncture. 有些骑自行车的人带修理工具，因为他们车胎可能小孔。 来自辞典例句

16 crumpled   

adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式

参考例句：

• She crumpled the letter up into a ball and threw it on the fire. 她把那封信揉成一团扔进了火里。
• She flattened out the crumpled letter on the desk. 她在写字台上把皱巴巴的信展平。

17 bowling   

n.保龄球运动

参考例句：

• Bowling is a popular sport with young and old.保龄球是老少都爱的运动。
• Which sport do you 1ike most,golf or bowling?你最喜欢什么运动，高尔夫还是保龄球？

18 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

19 strictly   

adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地

参考例句：

• His doctor is dieting him strictly.他的医生严格规定他的饮食。
• The guests were seated strictly in order of precedence.客人严格按照地位高低就座。

20 systematically   

adv.有系统地

参考例句：

• This government has systematically run down public services since it took office.这一屆政府自上台以来系统地削减了公共服务。
• The rainforest is being systematically destroyed.雨林正被系统地毀灭。

21 promising   

adj.有希望的，有前途的

参考例句：

• The results of the experiments are very promising.实验的结果充满了希望。
• We're trying to bring along one or two promising young swimmers.我们正设法培养出一两名有前途的年轻游泳选手。

22 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

23 dawdled   

v.混（时间）( dawdle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Billy dawdled behind her all morning. 比利整个上午都跟在她后面闲混。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He dawdled away his time. 他在混日子。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

24 triumphant   

adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的

参考例句：

• The army made a triumphant entry into the enemy's capital.部队胜利地进入了敌方首都。
• There was a positively triumphant note in her voice.她的声音里带有一种极为得意的语气。