双语有声阅读：忘记并宽容(下)

The house was empty when I arrived and I looked for a note on the refrigerator that might explain my mother's absence, but found none. My chin quivered with a mixture of heartbreak and rage. For the first time in my life, my mother had let me down.

 

当我回到家，屋子里空无一人。我到冰箱上找有没有她留下的便条，她也许会解释没去的原因，可那儿什么也没有。失望和愤怒一头袭来，我气得下巴直抖。生平第一次，母亲让我失望了。

I was lying face-down on my bed upstairs when I heard her come through the front door.

我上楼去，在自己的床上趴着。这时楼下传来她进门的声音。

"Robbie," she called out a bit urgently. "Where are you?"

“罗比，”她略显焦急地唤我，“你在哪呢？”

I could then hear her darting¹ frantically² from room to room, wondering where I could be.=

我能听到她着魔似地逐个房间找我。我仍旧一声不吭。

I remained silent. In a moment, she mounted the steps. When she entered my room and sat beside me on my bed, I didn't move but instead stared blankly into my pillow refusing to acknowledge her presence.

很快，她上楼了。脚步声显得越来越快。她进到我的房间，挨着我在床上坐着。我茫然地盯着枕头一动不动，当她不存在一样。

"I'm so sorry, honey," she said. "I just forgot. I got busy and forgot—plain and simple."

“对不起，宝贝，”她说，“我忘掉了，我一忙就忘掉了，就是这样。”

I still didn't move. "Don't forgive her," I told myself. "She humiliated³ you. She forgot you. Make her pay."

我还是没动。“别原谅她，”我告诉自己，“她让你丢脸了，她把你给忘了。要给她点惩罚。”

Then my mother did something completely unexpected. She began to laugh. I could feel her shudder⁴ as the laughter shook her. It began quietly at first and then increased violently.

接下来母亲做了一件我怎么也想不到的事。她开始笑，我感觉得到她笑得浑身颤动。开始还悄无声息，接着越来越急促，越来越大声。

I was incredulous. How could she laugh at a time like this? I rolled over and faced her, ready to let her see the rage and disappointment in my eyes.

我简直不敢相信，这个时候她还笑得出来？我翻过身，面朝着她，让她看到我眼睛里的愤怒和失望。

But my mother wasn't laughing at all. She was crying. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed⁶. "I let you down. I let my little boy down."

但母亲根本没有笑，她是在哭。“对不起，”她轻轻地抽泣着，“我让你失望了，我让我的小家伙失望了。”

She sank down on the bed and began to weep like a little girl. I was dumbstruck. I had never seen my mother cry. To my understanding, mothers weren't supposed to.

她瘫倒在床上，开始像个小女孩一样地哭泣。我目瞪口呆。我从没看见母亲哭过。在我眼里，母亲是不会哭的。我想，我哭的时候在她眼里是不是也是这个样子。

I desperately⁷ tried to recall her own soothing⁸ words from times past when I'd skinned knees or stubbed toes, times when she knew just the right thing to say. But in this moment of tearful plight⁹, words of profundity¹⁰ abandoned me like a worn-out shoe.

我拼命回想过去当我蹭破膝盖、碰伤脚趾时她对我说的安慰话，那种时候她总是知道该说什么。可是在这个泪眼婆娑的时刻，我实在太没用，找不到一句情深意浓的话语。

"It's okay, Mom," I stammered¹¹ as I reached out and gently stroked her hair. "We didn't even need those cookies. There was plenty of stuff to eat. Don't cry. It's all right. Really."

“好了，妈妈，”我伸过手去轻轻抚摸她的头发，结结巴巴地说，“我们其实根本不需要那些小甜饼，那里有好多吃的东西。别哭了，没事，真的。”

My words, as inadequate¹² as they sounded to me, prompted my mother to sit up. She wiped her eyes, and a slight smile began to crease⁵ her tear-stained cheeks. I smiled back awkwardly, and she pulled me to her.

我的话尽管自己听来也觉得苍白无力，却让母亲坐了起来。她擦了擦双眼，一丝微笑在她满是泪痕的脸上绽开。我也不好意思地笑了笑，然后她就把我拉到怀里。

We didn't say another word. We just held each other in a long, silent embrace. When we came to the point where I would usually pull away, I decided¹³ that, this time, I could hold on, perhaps, just a little bit longer.

我们再没有说话，只是默默地拥抱了很久很久。通常我们拥抱一会儿就会松开，但这次，我决定，也许，我会多坚持那么一会儿。

1 darting   

v.投掷，投射( dart的现在分词 )；向前冲，飞奔

参考例句：

• Swallows were darting through the clouds. 燕子穿云急飞。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Swallows were darting through the air. 燕子在空中掠过。 来自辞典例句

2 frantically   

ad.发狂地, 发疯地

参考例句：

• He dashed frantically across the road. 他疯狂地跑过马路。
• She bid frantically for the old chair. 她发狂地喊出高价要买那把古老的椅子。

3 humiliated   

感到羞愧的

参考例句：

• Parents are humiliated if their children behave badly when guests are present. 子女在客人面前举止失当，父母也失体面。
• He was ashamed and bitterly humiliated. 他感到羞耻，丢尽了面子。

4 shudder   

v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动

参考例句：

• The sight of the coffin sent a shudder through him.看到那副棺材，他浑身一阵战栗。
• We all shudder at the thought of the dreadful dirty place.我们一想到那可怕的肮脏地方就浑身战惊。

5 crease   

n.折缝，褶痕，皱褶；v.(使)起皱

参考例句：

• Does artificial silk crease more easily than natural silk?人造丝比天然丝更易起皱吗？
• Please don't crease the blouse when you pack it.包装时请不要将衬衫弄皱了。

6 sobbed   

哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说

参考例句：

• She sobbed out the story of her son's death. 她哭诉着她儿子的死。
• She sobbed out the sad story of her son's death. 她哽咽着诉说她儿子死去的悲惨经过。

7 desperately   

adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地

参考例句：

• He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
• He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。

8 soothing   

adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的

参考例句：

• Put on some nice soothing music.播放一些柔和舒缓的音乐。
• His casual, relaxed manner was very soothing.他随意而放松的举动让人很快便平静下来。

9 plight   

n.困境，境况，誓约，艰难；vt.宣誓，保证，约定

参考例句：

• The leader was much concerned over the plight of the refugees.那位领袖对难民的困境很担忧。
• She was in a most helpless plight.她真不知如何是好。

10 profundity   

n.渊博；深奥，深刻

参考例句：

• He impressed his audience by the profundity of his knowledge.他知识渊博给听众留下了深刻的印象。
• He pretended profundity by eye-beamings at people.他用神采奕奕的眼光看着人们，故作深沉。

11 stammered   

v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He stammered most when he was nervous. 他一紧张往往口吃。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Barsad leaned back in his chair, and stammered, \"What do you mean?\" 巴萨往椅背上一靠，结结巴巴地说，“你是什么意思？” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

12 inadequate   

adj.(for,to)不充足的，不适当的

参考例句：

• The supply is inadequate to meet the demand.供不应求。
• She was inadequate to the demands that were made on her.她还无力满足对她提出的各项要求。

13 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。