【双语有声阅读】青少年Adolescence

不管家长的人品有多么好，作为父母有多么合格，孩子们对家长幻想的破灭在某种程度上是不可避免的。除非父母自身不能令人满意，大多数孩子对父母估价过高，以致这种估价很难指望经受住现实的考验。

 

 

 

Parents are often upset when their children praise the homes of their friends and regard it as a slur¹ on their own cooking, or cleaning, or furniture, and often are foolish enough to let the adolescents see that they are annoyed. They may even accuse them of disloyalty, or make some spiteful remark about the friends' parents. Such loss of dignity and descent into childish behaviour on the part to their parents about the place or people they visit. Before very long the parents will be complaining that the child is so secretive and never tells them anything, but they seldom realize that they have brought this on themselves.

 

Disillusionment with the parents, however good and adequate they may be both as parents and as individuals, is to some degree inevitable². Most children have such a high ideal of their parents, unless the parents themselves have been unsatisfactory, that it can hardly hope to stand up to a realistic evaluation³. Parents would be greatly surprised and deeply touched if they hope to stand up to a realistic evaluation. Parents would be greatly surprised and deeply touched if they realized how much belief their children usually have in their character and infallibility, and how much this faith means to a child. If parents were prepared for this adolescent reaction, and realized that it was a sign that the child was growing up and developing valuable powers of observation and independent judgment⁴, they would not be so hurt, and therefore would not drive the child into opposition⁵ by resenting and resisting it.

 

The adolescent, with his passion for sincerity⁶, always respects a parent who admits that he is wrong, or ignorant, or even that he has been unfair or unjust. What the child cannot forgive is the parent's refusal to admit these charges if the child knows them to be true.

 

Victorian parents believed that they kept their dignity by retreating behind an unreasoning authoritarian⁷ attitude; in fact they did nothing of the kind, but children were then too cowed to let them know how they really felt. Today we tend to go to the other extreme, but on the whole this is a healthier attitude both for the child and the parent. It is always wiser and safer to face up to reality, however painful it may be at the moment.

 

当家长听到孩子赞扬自己朋友的家时，总感到不安，认为孩子在嫌弃自家的饭菜、卫生、或家具，而且愚蠢地让孩子看出自己的烦恼。他们甚至责备孩子不忠，或者讲些小朋友家长的坏话。家长这种有失身份和孩子气的作法使青春期的孩子大为震惊，决心以后不再向父母讲述去过的地方和见过的人。不要很久,家长就会抱怨孩子守口如瓶，什么事也不告诉他们，殊不知这是他们自找的。

 

不管家长的人品有多么好，作为父母有多么合格，孩子们对家长幻想的破灭在某种程度上是不可避免的。除非父母自身不能令人满意，大多数孩子对父母估价过高，以致这种估价很难指望经受住现实的考验。如果家长意识到孩子们通常是多么相信家长的品行和绝对正确，意识到孩子们的这种信念会对孩子产生多么大的影响，那么家长会大为吃惊和深受感动的。如果家长对青少年的这种反应有思想准备，并且意识到这象征着孩子们正在成熟和正在发展宝贵的观察力、独立判断力，那么他们就不会那样伤心，也就不会由于怨恨和抵触这种反应，而把孩子推到自己的对立面去。

 

青少年酷爱真诚，对于能够承认错误或无知、甚至承认自己做得不分平或不公正的父母，他们总是尊敬的，孩子们所不能原谅的是：父母错了，孩子们也看出来了，可是做父母的还不肯承认。

 

维多利亚时代的父母认为，他们可靠无理的权威气派来维护自己的尊严，实际上那是根本不行的。孩子们只不过被吓得不敢让父母知道自己的想法罢了。虽然现在我们倾向于走向另一个极端，但总地来看，孩子和家长双方态度都比较端正。遇事采取面对现实的态度总是比较明智和稳妥的，尽管会有暂时的痛苦。

1 slur   

v.含糊地说；诋毁；连唱；n.诋毁；含糊的发音

参考例句：

• He took the remarks as a slur on his reputation.他把这些话当作是对他的名誉的中伤。
• The drug made her speak with a slur.药物使她口齿不清。

2 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

3 evaluation   

n.估价，评价；赋值

参考例句：

• I attempted an honest evaluation of my own life.我试图如实地评价我自己的一生。
• The new scheme is still under evaluation.新方案还在评估阶段。

4 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

5 opposition   

n.反对，敌对

参考例句：

• The party leader is facing opposition in his own backyard.该党领袖在自己的党內遇到了反对。
• The police tried to break down the prisoner's opposition.警察设法制住了那个囚犯的反抗。

6 sincerity   

n.真诚，诚意；真实

参考例句：

• His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
• He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。

7 authoritarian   

n./adj.专制(的)，专制主义者，独裁主义者

参考例句：

• Foreign diplomats suspect him of authoritarian tendencies.各国外交官怀疑他有着独裁主义倾向。
• The authoritarian policy wasn't proved to be a success.独裁主义的政策证明并不成功。