向前一步:第159期 让你的另一半成为你真正的人生搭档(17)

 The reverse is true for men, who are expected to put their careers first. 对男性来说，恰恰相反，因为人们相信男人应该把事业放在第一位。

We judge men primarily by their professional success and send them a clear message that personal achievements are insufficient¹ for them to be valued or feel fulfilled. 通常我们在评价一位男性时，首先是看他们的事业成就，随后又明显地表现出家庭成就对他们来说不那么重要，或者说并非主要成就感的来源。

This mind-set leads to a grown man bragging² on the soccer field that he left his postpartum wife and newborn at the hospital to go kick a ball. 正是这种思维定势促使一个成年男人在球场上夸口，说自己可以照常踢球，而不用去管产房里的老婆和刚出生的孩子。

Making gender³ matters even worse, men's success is viewed not just in absolute terms, but often in comparison to their wives'. 制造性别差异化甚至会带来更糟的结果。男性的成功不仅会被用绝对的数字来衡量，而且还常被拿来和他们的妻子作比较。

The image of a happy couple still includes a husband who is more professionally successful than the wife. 在对幸福婚姻形象的描述中，丈夫的事业常常比妻子的更成功。

If the reverse occurs, it's perceived as threatening to the marriage. 如果情况刚好相反，他们的婚姻就会被认为受到了威胁。

People frequently pull me aside to ask sympathetically, "How is Dave? Is he okay with, you know, all your success?" 人们常常把我拉到一旁同情地问：“戴夫怎么样了？你知道，他会不会介意你的……成功？”

Dave is far more self-confident than I am, and given his own professional success, these comments are easy for him to brush off. 实际上，戴夫远比我自信多了，而且他自己在事业上也很成功，他丝毫不去理会这些评论。

More and more men will have to do the same, since almost 30 percent of U.S. working wives now outearn their husbands. 像戴夫这样的男性会越来越多，因为在美国近乎30%的职场女性比自己的丈夫收入要高。

As that number continues to grow, I hope the whispering stops. 这些数字还在增长，我希望未来人们跟某位丈夫提到他妻子的成功时不再小声低语。

Dave and I can laugh off concerns about his supposedly fragile ego⁴, but for many women, this is no laughing matter. 有些人会替戴夫脆弱的自我担心，我们俩对此都一笑了之。但在很多女人看来，这并不好笑。

1 insufficient   

adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的

参考例句：

• There was insufficient evidence to convict him.没有足够证据给他定罪。
• In their day scientific knowledge was insufficient to settle the matter.在他们的时代，科学知识还不能足以解决这些问题。

2 bragging   

v.自夸，吹嘘( brag的现在分词 )；大话

参考例句：

• He's always bragging about his prowess as a cricketer. 他总是吹嘘自己板球水平高超。 来自辞典例句
• Now you're bragging, darling. You know you don't need to brag. 这就是夸口，亲爱的。你明知道你不必吹。 来自辞典例句

3 gender   

n.（生理上的）性，（名词、代词等的）性

参考例句：

• French differs from English in having gender for all nouns.法语不同于英语，所有的名词都有性。
• Women are sometimes denied opportunities solely because of their gender.妇女有时仅仅因为性别而无法获得种种机会。

4 ego   

n.自我，自己，自尊

参考例句：

• He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
• She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。