Graveyard Scare 墓地惊魂 One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery. When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving. There was this terrify...
Fat free 油是免费的 I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat Free French Fries. I decided to give them a try. I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer which were drip...
E-mail 电子邮件 A man left for a vacation to Jamaica. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message. Unable to find the scrap of pape...
Einstein and God 爱因斯坦与上帝 Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord...God, what does a million years mean to you? The Lord replies, A minute. Einstein asks, And what does a m...
Waiting Room 候诊室 There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born. The first nurse comes out and tells the first father, Congratulations you're the father of twins! He says, Great! I am the manager...
Turn Off Your Cell Phone 关掉你的手机 We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and starte...
Turkey and football 火鸡与足球 The pro football team had just finished their daily practice when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Ev...
That's the difference 这就是区别所在 A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. yKV中国英语学习网 After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside a...
Open-book exam 开卷考试 ON THE DAY of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks. Before class, several of us dashed over...
DUI violation 酒后驾车 Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he f...
Don't sell that cow 别卖那头牛 The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed, trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen....
Psychiatrist 精神病医生 Jerry went to a psychiatrist. Doc, he said, I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy! Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come to me three ti...
Pa won't like it 爸爸会不高兴的 It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. Hey Willis!! the farmer yelled, Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the...
I would prefer the traditional service 我还是喜欢传统的仪式 A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary....
If Life Were Like A Computer 假如生活是一台电脑 You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel. You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it! You could improve your appearance by adjust...
