搞笑英文短信

Not every flower symbolize¹ for love, but rose can do it; not every tree can stand thirst, but alamo can do it, not every pig can read short message, but you can do it. Congratulations! 不是每一朵花都能代表爱情，但是玫瑰做到了；不是每一种树都能耐住干渴，但是白杨做到了；不是每一头猪都能看短消息，但是你做到了。恭喜你！ This msg. will refresh² your brain in 5 seconds. 5...4...3...2...1... >Error: No Brain Detected³!!! 这条消息将会让你的头脑清醒5秒。5…4…3…2…1… >错误提示：未侦测到大脑！！！ Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...Sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain. 你好，我是病毒！并且现在正逐渐进入你的大脑……对不起，我要走了，因为我根本找不到你的大脑！ Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you wake up today? 1) Pray-so that u may live...2)Take a bath-so that others may live too! 早上好……你今早醒来的时候有没有做这两件最重要的事呢？ 1）祈祷- 好让你可以活下去……2）洗澡-好让别人也可以活下去！ Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! FLATTERED⁴? Don't Be! It was sent to me. I just wanted you to read it. 漂亮的脸蛋能吸引眼球但是好的人品能吸引人心。你很幸运的同时拥有这两方面！被恭维了？ 少来了！这个短消息是送给我的。我只不过想让你看看罢了。 Don't be mad, don't be blue, Einstein was ugly too! 不要激动，不要忧郁，爱因斯坦长相也难看！ 1 day u'll B surprised 2C ME beside U. U & Me laughing, U&Me crying, U & Me dreaming, U & Me holding on, U & Me...just U & Me sitting in a MENTAL & ME CHECKING U. 一天你会很惊讶的发现我出现在你身边。你我一起欢笑，一起哭泣，一起梦想，依偎在一起，一起……只不过是你我一起坐在精神病院里并且我（医生）给你（精神病人）做检查。 You may fall from mountain, you may fall from tree, but the best way to fall, is fall to my love. 你可能会从山上掉下来，也可能会从树上掉下来，但是，最好的方式，是你会爱上我。 Once god came up 2 me & granted⁵ me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said. 有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。 Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, "Let me try world peace". 然后我请让你变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。” Every morning I pray 2 God that everybody should get a friend like u,... 每天早晨我都向上帝祷告：希望每个人都能够拥有像你这样的朋友…… Why should I be the only to suffer...?? 为什么只有我要忍受有你这样的朋友？ If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u. 如果你躲起来，我会去找你。如果你不见了，我会寻觅你。如果你离开了，我会等你。如果日子会把你带走，我会为你战斗。 But, if u stop sending msgs, I'll kill you. 但是，如果你停止发短信息，我会宰了你。 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z oops! i miss "U" A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z 哎呀！我居然丢了“U” 注：U代表 “You”你。miss除有“遗漏”的意思，还有“思念”之意。这里i miss "U"，实为"I miss you." 我想你。 If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money... wait for your salary. 如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱……等着发工资吧！ Can u pronounce good English? Read along: woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, poof, woof, woof, hoof⁶, loof, roof, shoof, Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking. 你的英语发音很标准？读下去：woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, poof, woof, woof, hoof, loof, roof, shoof, 测试结果：你是一条好狗。现在可以停下别叫了。

1 symbolize   

vt.作为...的象征，用符号代表

参考例句：

• Easter eggs symbolize the renewal of life.复活蛋象征新生。
• Dolphins symbolize the breath of life.海豚象征着生命的气息。

2 refresh   

v.使...生气蓬勃，提起精神，恢复精神

参考例句：

• I looked at the map to refresh my memory of the road.我看看地图以唤起对这条路的回忆。
• I think I'll just refresh myself with a cup of tea before I go to meet the children.我想在见孩子们之前先喝杯茶来恢复一下精神。

3 detected   

vt.[无]对…检波v.发现，发觉，查明( detect的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• I detected a suggestion of malice in his remarks. 我觉察出他说的话略带恶意。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I detected a faint note of weariness in his voice. 我从他的声音中察觉出一丝倦意。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 flattered   

过份夸奖的； 高兴的，感到荣幸的

参考例句：

• At the testimonial dinner everyone flattered him shamelessly. 在纪念筵席上大家都厚颜无耻地奉承他。
• They flattered themselves that they would win. 他们自信一定会赢。

5 granted   

conj.假定，就算v.（退一步）承认( grant的过去式和过去分词 )；（尤指正式地或法律上）同意；准许；让渡

参考例句：

• The president granted a general amnesty for all political prisoners. 总统大赦了所有的政治犯。
• She feared she would not be granted re-entry into Britain. 她担心不会获准再次踏足英伦。

6 hoof   

n.(马，牛等的)蹄

参考例句：

• Suddenly he heard the quick,short click of a horse's hoof behind him.突然间，他听见背后响起一阵急骤的马蹄的得得声。
• I was kicked by a hoof.我被一只蹄子踢到了。