《柯南脱口秀》第123期:被迫进喜剧界

 It's a memory that I just had actually.My brother who just reminded me that my two front teeth didn't fall out until I was fifth grade. 实际上我最近回想起一件事 我住在芝加哥的兄弟提醒我 我的两颗门牙直到五年级才掉

And this is cool because at the same time,I got my period. 这很搞笑 因为在同一时段 我初潮了

So,yes.So I was just like this jack¹ O'lantern with tits. 所以 是的 所以我就像长着胸部的万圣节南瓜头一样

And my mom,I had oen of those really cool moms that told you,You don't have to shave above the knee. 而我妈妈非常酷 她告诉我 你不用刮膝盖以上的毛

So I was just like a werewolf from here,Kristoffer Robin² pants.This is horrible³.That's what happen,yeah. 所以我这里就跟狼人似的 就像一条克里斯托弗·罗宾的毛短裤 实在太糟糕了 就是这样 对

Kristoffer Robin pants of hair.Of hair.Oh my god. 克里斯托弗·罗宾的毛短裤 毛短裤 天呐

It was like I better get some charisma⁴ really quick. 我最好赶紧恢复女人魅力

We're all fored into comedy for different reasons.Never good.Never good. 我们都是因为不同原因被迫进喜剧界的 从没好事 从没好事

You were hosting the 2015 MTV movie awards.That's is this weekend,sunday.Sunday. 你将主持2015年MTV电影颁奖礼 在这周末 星期天 星期天

I hosted that thing last year.It is different than all of the other awards shows. 我去年主持了这个颁奖礼 它跟其他颁奖礼都不一样

It is?they asked me.They said they wanted to make it funny again.Oh,no. 是吗 他们问我了  他们让我给这个颁奖礼带回幽默感 哦不

but any advice?I've never done this.What I found was different about it is you go out,other awards shows you come out and it's very,people in tuxes.Right 你有什么建议吗 我从没做过这种事 我觉得很不同的是 当你出场以后 在其它颁奖礼 下面的人都穿着燕尾服 没错

That show you come out and there is all this sugar energy.I remember looking into the audience and the first person and I'm not making this up sitting in the audience that I made eye contact with was a grumpy cat. 但在那个颁奖礼 你出来后下面五颜六色的 我还记得我在观众席看到的第一个观众 我没有瞎编 第一个和我目光接触的观众是不爽猫

 

1 jack   

n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克

参考例句：

• I am looking for the headphone jack.我正在找寻头戴式耳机插孔。
• He lifted the car with a jack to change the flat tyre.他用千斤顶把车顶起来换下瘪轮胎。

2 robin   

n.知更鸟，红襟鸟

参考例句：

• The robin is the messenger of spring.知更鸟是报春的使者。
• We knew spring was coming as we had seen a robin.我们看见了一只知更鸟，知道春天要到了。

3 horrible   

adj.可怕的，极可憎的，极可厌的

参考例句：

• This is a horrible monster.这是一个可怕的怪物。
• That is a horrible accident.那是一次可怕的事故。

4 charisma   

n.(大众爱戴的)领袖气质，魅力

参考例句：

• He has enormous charisma. He is a giant of a man.他有超凡的个人魅力，是个伟人。
• I don't have the charisma to pull a crowd this size.我没有那么大的魅力，能吸引这么多人。