生活大爆炸第八季 第169期:室友去哪了？

 So, where's your roommate tonight? 你的室友今晚去哪了？

Well, I thought it was a little unfair that she's always here, and you never get a chance to stay over, so...I killed her. 我觉得她总在这里碍事对你挺不公平，因为你从来没有机会在这里过夜，所以...我把她杀了。

But remember our agreement? You can joke about murdering people, but you have to say, "just kidding." 还记得我们的约定吗？你可以开你杀了人的玩笑，但是你后面得说"开玩笑的啦"。

And the more important thing to remember is that I'd never hurt you. 而更不该忘的一条重要约定是我永远不会伤害你。

Oh, crap. I have to run over to the hospital and check on a patient. 真倒霉。我得赶回医院一趟，察看一个病人。

That's okay. I can come back later. 没关系。我可以晚点再来。

No. No, don't be silly. I won't be gone long. Just stay here. 不用，别傻了。我不会去太久，就在这待着吧。

Okay, cool. Oh, and you're sure your roommate's not gonna come back while I'm here alone, right? 'Cause that'll be awkward. 好，没问题。你确定我一个人在这待着时，你的室友不会突然回来吧？因为这样会很尴尬。

Oh, don't worry. She's in Palm Springs. 不用担心，她在棕榈泉。

Oh, good. 那就好。

Well, her torso is. Just kidding. I put her in a wood chipper. 她的躯干在那里。开玩笑的啦。我把她扔进碎木机了。

Oh, dear Lord. Oh, dear Lord. 我的老天，我的老天啊。

It's okay. You made it. We're fine. 没事的。你撑过去了，没事啦。

That was a lot of puppies. 那也太多小狗了。

Let's forget about them, and...pick ourselves out a nice turtle. Oh, how about this one up on the log? 别管它们了，来给我们选只乌龟吧。你看这只在木头上的怎么样？

Oh, I don't know. He kind of looks like a jerk. How about this one? 我不知道。他看起来像个混蛋。你看这只如何？

Well, he's barely moving. He looks half dead. 那只不太动，感觉半死不活的。

I know. I like him, too. Hi, little guy. How'd you like to come home with us? You'll be living with me because we don't live in the same house. 对啊，我也喜欢他。小家伙。有兴趣跟我们一起回家吗？你会跟我一起住，因为我们不住在一个家里。

But that's not your fault. Like you, we're taking it ridiculously slow. You'll stay with me when he's at Comic-Con or away for work. 但这不是你的错。我们像你一样，用超龟速发展这段感情。他去动漫展或上班时，你会跟我待在一起。

Or if they accept Daddy's application to live on Mars. 如果爸比去火星住的申请通过了，你也跟她住。