【双语有声阅读】我真笨 I'm Stupid!(上)

I'm Stupid!

我真笨！

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't have to rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops... never mind, didn't see your sign."It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a big truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "No. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes." Here's your sign.

笨人本应该可以自我标签，对所有的人都说“我很笨”。听到这样的话，你就不会想依靠他们了，对吗？你不也会问他们一些事情，就好像你会说：“抱歉，哦……没事了。”心里会想我忘记他是个笨人了”。这就好比我和妻子之前搬东西一样。我们的房间里有很多盒子，车道上有辆大卡车。隔壁邻居常过来问：“嘿，你要搬家吗？”“不是的，我们只是每周打包一两次东西，然后看看能有多少个包裹。”这只是个习惯了。”

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy¹ of mine. We pulled his boat into the dock², I lifted up this big old bass³ and this idiot⁴ on the dock goes, "Hey, you all catch all those fish?" "No. Talked them into giving up." Here's your sign.

两个月前，我和我的一个哥们出门钓鱼。我把他的船拖到码头，举起那条大而老的鲈鱼在码头上走着。“嘿，这些鱼都是你钓到的吗？”“不是，是它们自愿上钩的。”这样调侃的说话也是一种习惯。

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

曾看过探索频道的这样一个动物表演秀。有个人发明了能经受住鲨鱼咬的套装。有唯一一种可以测试套装是否结实的方法。“吉米，你穿鲨鱼泳衣，看起来真不错……他们想让你跳进鲨鱼池，当鲨鱼咬你的时候告诉我们是否觉得疼痛。“嗯，好吧，但是记住我勇敢的品质。我不想失去它。”

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the road gas stations. The attendant⁵ walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire goes flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "No. I was driving around and those other three just swelled⁶ right up on me. Here's your sign."

上次我的轮胎瘪了，我把我的卡车推进马路边的加油站。服务员走出来，看着我的卡车，又看着我。我发誓当他说轮胎变平了的时候，我忍不住反驳：“没有。其他三只轮胎的气都是足的。”这是爱争辩的标志。

1 buddy   

n.（美口）密友，伙伴

参考例句：

• Calm down,buddy.What's the trouble?压压气，老兄。有什么麻烦吗？
• Get out of my way,buddy!别挡道了，你这家伙！

2 dock   

n.码头；被告席；vt.使(船)进港；扣；vi.进港

参考例句：

• We took the children to the dock to see the ships.我们带孩子们到码头去看轮船。
• The corrupt official stood in the dock.那贪官站在被告席上。

3 bass   

n.男低音(歌手)；低音乐器；低音大提琴

参考例句：

• He answered my question in a surprisingly deep bass.他用一种低得出奇的声音回答我的问题。
• The bass was to give a concert in the park.那位男低音歌唱家将在公园中举行音乐会。

4 idiot   

n.白痴，傻子，笨蛋

参考例句：

• Only an idiot would make such a thoughtless remark.只有草包才会说出这样没有头脑的话来。
• You are behaving like a perfect idiot.你表现得像个十足的白痴。

5 attendant   

n.随从，跟班，出席者，服务员；adj.伴随的，出席的，注意的，在场的

参考例句：

• She was interrupted by the entrance of an attendant.服务员进来，打断了她的话。
• We met the officer attendant on the general.我们见到了随从将军的副官。

6 swelled   

增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情）

参考例句：

• The infection swelled his hand. 由于感染，他的手肿了起来。
• After the heavy rain the river swelled. 大雨过后，河水猛涨。