Joke English 第一期

YOU ARE GOING TO DIE

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup,the doctor called the wife into his
　　　　　健康检查
office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from
suffer from + disease¹/hardship表示患病／遭受苦难 　　　　　　
a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress.

If you don't do the following, your husband will surely
　　　　　　　the + adj 表示一类人／事物
die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try
　准备(e.g.Mon is fixing lunch/I'll fix you a drink=I'll fix a drink for you.)
to be pleasant in general, and make sure he stays in a
　　　　　　　　　总体上　　　　　　　确保，确定＋从句
good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious² meal. For
心情好　心情不好--not in mood/in a bad mood　　喜怒无常的人--- a man of moods
dinner prepare something nice and healthy again. Don't

burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day.
do some chores做家务　　　burden sb with sth 使某人承担某事　have a bad day这一天过得很糟糕
Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make

his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with

your husband several times a week and satisfy his every

whim³. "If you can do this for the next 1 to 2 months, I
这里指“性欲”
think your husband will regain⁴ his health completely.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did

the doctor say?" "You're going to die," she replied.

1 disease   

n.疾病，弊端

参考例句：

• The doctors are trying to stamp out the disease.医生正在尽力消灭这种疾病。
• He fought against the disease for a long time.他同疾病做了长时间的斗争。

2 nutritious   

adj.有营养的，营养价值高的

参考例句：

• Fresh vegetables are very nutritious.新鲜蔬菜富于营养。
• Hummingbirds have discovered that nectar and pollen are very nutritious.蜂鸟发现花蜜和花粉是很有营养的。

3 whim   

n.一时的兴致，突然的念头；奇想，幻想

参考例句：

• I bought the encyclopedia on a whim.我凭一时的兴致买了这本百科全书。
• He had a sudden whim to go sailing today.今天他突然想要去航海。

4 regain   

vt.重新获得，收复，恢复

参考例句：

• He is making a bid to regain his World No.1 ranking.他正为重登世界排名第一位而努力。
• The government is desperate to regain credibility with the public.政府急于重新获取公众的信任。