有“性趣”的英语（2）

把套套放在自己的车里是多么的重要啊

always keep your condoms in your car

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a
year, and so we decided¹ to get married. My parents helped us in every way,
my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and
that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective² sister-in-law was
twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would
regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view
of her underwear³. It had to be deliberate⁴. She never did it when she
was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to
check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She
whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and
desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to vercome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't
say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go
ahead just come up and get me." I was stunned⁵. I was frozen⁶ in
shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she
pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood
there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I
opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards
my car.

My future father-in-law was standing⁷ outside. With tears in his eyes he
hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is:


always keep your condoms in your car.

译文：

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我就要和相处一年的女友结婚了，毫无疑问，我很happy。

现在为一困挠我的是，我未来的小姨子，一个20岁的ppmm。她喜欢穿紧身的低胸t_shirt以及迷你短裙。她经常在我的跟前有意无意的弯下腰，更要命的是在别的男人面前她从不这么做。要说她没有诱惑到我，向毛主席保证，那是我在撒谎。

直到哪一天，我未来的小姨子call我，让我去看看请柬的准备情况。当我到时，她家只有她一个人，迎接我的是她无尽幽怨的眼神：我爱的人结婚了，新娘不是我，我现在唯一想做的即使在你结婚之前，把我献给你。她在楼梯上对我说：我在卧室里等你，如果你决定了，就上楼来找我。当她走到楼梯的尽头，和她睡衣一起滑落洒向我的是她眼中的期待。

我呆立了一分钟，然后做了我当时唯一能做的事：拉开大门，走向我的汽车。

门外，我未来的岳父大人浊泪横流，给了我一个恶狠狠的hug：good boy，我们家的测试你已经pass了，welcome你加入到我们的大家庭中。

这个故事告诉我们的是：把套套放在自己的车里是多么的重要啊

1 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

2 prospective   

adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的

参考例句：

• The story should act as a warning to other prospective buyers.这篇报道应该对其他潜在的购买者起到警示作用。
• They have all these great activities for prospective freshmen.这会举办各种各样的活动来招待未来的新人。

3 underwear   

n.衫衣，内衣，贴身衣

参考例句：

• He had removed his underwear.他已脱去了内衣。
• They left off their woollen underwear when the weather got warm.天气转暖的时候，他们不再穿羊毛内衣。

4 deliberate   

adj.故意的，深思熟虑的；v.仔细考虑

参考例句：

• You should deliberate over the question before you respond to it.回答问题之前你应该慎重考虑。
• His actions were clearly the result of deliberate calculation.他的行动显然是精心策划过的。

5 stunned   

adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• The fall stunned me for a moment. 那一下摔得我昏迷了片刻。
• The leaders of the Kopper Company were then stunned speechless. 科伯公司的领导们当时被惊得目瞪口呆。

6 frozen   

adj.冻结的，冰冻的

参考例句：

• He was frozen to death on a snowing night.在一个风雪的晚上，他被冻死了。
• The weather is cold and the ground is frozen.天寒地冻。

7 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。