英文笑话【6】

TWO HEARTS BEATING

Nurse: How do you feel after your operation?

Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.

Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now. 

两颗心脏在跳动

护士：手术后你感觉怎样？

病人：十分好，只是我能感觉到我体内有两颗心脏在跳动。

护士：怪不得给你做手术的大夫刚才在到处寻找他的手表。 

AN ANGRY WIFE'S PRAYER

A man is so addicted¹ to gambling² that he often comes home late. His wife never stops railing at him. Once he is detained³ at his office and comes home late. His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. "I pray to God that you are speaking the truth", his wife says.

"May God strike me dead if I am lying."

"Then I pray to God that you are lying", his wife said hopefully.

一个发怒妻子的祈祷

一个男人因嗜赌而经常回家很晚，为此他妻子从没停止过骂他。一次他因工作很晚回到家后，他妻子指责他又去赌博了，可他发誓说这次是因为工作。"我祈祷上帝你说的是实话，"妻子说。

"如果我说谎上帝便赐我于死。"

"那我祈祷上帝你是在说谎。"他妻子充满希望地说。 

SHE'D RATHER BUY A GIFT

While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday. "That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey." Mom pondered⁴ that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."

她宁愿买一件礼物

旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。"没关系，"他说，"我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺。"妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，"我宁愿给你买一件礼物。"

1 addicted   

adj.沉溺于....的，对...上瘾的

参考例句：

• He was addicted to heroin at the age of 17.他17岁的时候对海洛因上了瘾。
• She's become addicted to love stories.她迷上了爱情小说。

2 gambling   

n.赌博；投机

参考例句：

• They have won a lot of money through gambling.他们赌博赢了很多钱。
• The men have been gambling away all night.那些人赌了整整一夜。

3 detained   

留住( detain的过去式和过去分词 )； 耽搁； 拘留； 扣留

参考例句：

• One man has been detained for questioning. 一个男人被拘留审问。
• He was kidnapped and briefly detained by a terrorist group. 他被一个恐怖组织绑架并短暂拘禁。

4 pondered   

考虑( ponder的过去式和过去分词 )； 深思熟虑； 沉思； 琢磨

参考例句：

• She pondered over his words. 她反复琢磨他的话。
• She pondered his marriage proposal for weeks. 几个星期以来她认真地考虑着他的求婚。