2016年CRI The Most Dreaded Spring Festival Question: Are You Married?

 

Recent surveys by a youth group show that more than 80 percent of single youths in China are constantly under pressure from their parents to get married.

As familial pressures are at an all-time high during big holiday gatherings¹ such as the Spring Festival, many young people in China have developed a "fear of going home."

"The most dreaded² Spring Festival question to me is 'When will you get married?' I've been asked like a thousand times and it's really … awkward. But the question is I don't even have a boyfriend now. How can they push me to get married soon while I don't have a boyfriend? I even fear of going home recent years. "

Once home, these young people are inundated³ with questions like "do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" and "when would you like to get married?"

According to the youth group's research, people aged⁴ between 25 and 35 are the group that suffers most of the pressure with 86 percent being pushed with such questions. Even 3 percent of youth who have not reached marriageable age are not immune from such pressure.

It seems like parents all over the country have the habit of asking such nagging⁵ questions but they just do it in different ways. Parents from Shanghai, for example, seem to be the most insistent⁶, as they persistently⁷ harp⁸ at their children.

Parents in southwest China's Sichuan province like to take advantage of relatives who are usually called "annoying aunties" to persuade their children. They tend to always complain the kids are not doing as brilliant as their peers of other families. Such annoyance⁹ has accompanied the kids even from their school days. Years ago, the statements would be like "other people's kids have higher grades, the neighbor's kids had a higher Gaokao score" etc. As the kids grow older, questions became "other people's kids got married a long time ago, what about you?" "Other women of my age already have grandchildren, why not me?" "The kid who grew up together with you is a parent already, look at you?"

Still, parents in some other area choose to take action instead of relying on nagging alone. Parents from Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous¹⁰ Region do it in a simple and direct way. They are "excellent" in arranging blind dates for their children.

And parents from Jiangsu are "outstanding representatives" of pushy¹¹ parents. Nearly 20 percent of them push their children more than ten times a year, the highest frequency across the nation. As a result, the number of blind dates that young Jiangsu people participate in also ranks high in the nation. 19 percent of respondents participate more than ten times in a year.

There are reasons behind these efforts. According to data from Jiangsu civil affairs department, the average age of first marriage for locals is 32.4. In contrast, for the elder generation, their children were already in primary school when they reached 30.

But young people feel wronged, as they believe a narrow life circle and tight work routine are the biggest hurdle¹² for them to find a partner. More than three quarters argue that they travel between home and work every day and barely have a chance to meet members of the opposite sex.

Even if they have a girlfriend or boyfriend, it is not easy to get married. 68 percent of people think their "partner or partner's family is overly demanding", which leads to breakups.

Most respondents say they understand their parents but only a few choose to talk over the issue. More than 70 percent keep silent or escape the topic.

"Actually I understand my parents. I'm the only child in my family and all their attentions are focused on me. As I am growing up, they are getting older. They just worry about me like they always do. I will keep as patient as I can when they talk about the marriage issue since it is almost like the once-a-year grill¹³."

Response strategies for the most dreaded "Spring Festival questions" have been a hit on China's social media platforms such as Sina Weibo and Wechat a few days before the holiday. Some even re-wrote a song to tease about the phenomenon.

But all joking aside, given the dramatic change of life style and living environment that most of the parents are unfamiliar¹⁴ with, there needs to be effective communication and real understanding of each other before the "fear of going home" can be overcome.

1 gatherings   

聚集( gathering的名词复数 )； 收集； 采集； 搜集

参考例句：

• His conduct at social gatherings created a lot of comment. 他在社交聚会上的表现引起许多闲话。
• During one of these gatherings a pupil caught stealing. 有一次，其中一名弟子偷窃被抓住。

2 dreaded   

adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The dreaded moment had finally arrived. 可怕的时刻终于来到了。
• He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital. 他害怕非得在医院过圣诞节不可。 来自《用法词典》

3 inundated   

v.淹没( inundate的过去式和过去分词 )；（洪水般地）涌来；充满；给予或交予（太多事物）使难以应付

参考例句：

• We have been inundated with offers of help. 主动援助多得使我们应接不暇。
• We have been inundated with every bit of information imaginable. 凡是想得到的各种各样的信息潮水般地向我们涌来。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 aged   

adj.年老的，陈年的

参考例句：

• He had put on weight and aged a little.他胖了，也老点了。
• He is aged,but his memory is still good.他已年老，然而记忆力还好。

5 nagging   

adj.唠叨的，挑剔的；使人不得安宁的v.不断地挑剔或批评（某人）( nag的现在分词 )；不断地烦扰或伤害（某人）；无休止地抱怨；不断指责

参考例句：

• Stop nagging—I'll do it as soon as I can. 别唠叨了—我会尽快做的。
• I've got a nagging pain in my lower back. 我后背下方老是疼。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 insistent   

adj.迫切的，坚持的

参考例句：

• There was an insistent knock on my door.我听到一阵急促的敲门声。
• He is most insistent on this point.他在这点上很坚持。

7 persistently   

ad.坚持地；固执地

参考例句：

• He persistently asserted his right to a share in the heritage. 他始终声称他有分享那笔遗产的权利。
• She persistently asserted her opinions. 她果断地说出了自己的意见。

8 harp   

n.竖琴；天琴座

参考例句：

• She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。
• He played an Irish melody on the harp.他用竖琴演奏了一首爱尔兰曲调。

9 annoyance   

n.恼怒，生气，烦恼

参考例句：

• Why do you always take your annoyance out on me?为什么你不高兴时总是对我出气？
• I felt annoyance at being teased.我恼恨别人取笑我。

10 autonomous   

adj.自治的；独立的

参考例句：

• They proudly declared themselves part of a new autonomous province.他们自豪地宣布成为新自治省的一部分。
• This is a matter that comes within the jurisdiction of the autonomous region.这件事是属于自治区权限以内的事务。

11 pushy   

adj.固执己见的，一意孤行的

参考例句：

• But she insisted and was very pushy.但她一直坚持,而且很急于求成。
• He made himself unpopular by being so pushy.他特别喜欢出风头，所以人缘不好。

12 hurdle   

n.跳栏，栏架；障碍，困难；vi.进行跨栏赛

参考例句：

• The weather will be the biggest hurdle so I have to be ready.天气将会是最大的障碍，所以我必须要作好准备。
• She clocked 11.6 seconds for the 80 metre hurdle.八十米跳栏赛跑她跑了十一秒六。

13 grill   

n.烤架，铁格子，烤肉；v.烧，烤，严加盘问

参考例句：

• Put it under the grill for a minute to brown the top.放在烤架下烤一分钟把上面烤成金黄色。
• I'll grill you some mutton.我来给你烤一些羊肉吃。

14 unfamiliar   

adj.陌生的，不熟悉的

参考例句：

• I am unfamiliar with the place and the people here.我在这儿人地生疏。
• The man seemed unfamiliar to me.这人很面生。