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英语笑话听力+文本：Endearing terms 可爱的称呼
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, That is really nice, that after a
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英语笑话听力+文本：Honest？诚实吗?
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. My name is Billy. What's yours? asked the first boy. Tommy, replied the second. My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living? asked Billy
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英语笑话听力+文本：St Peter's question 圣彼德的问题
Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, There was a movie that was made about
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英语笑话听力+文本：Want a day off 想请一天假
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. Boss, he says, we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.We're short-handed, Smith the boss repli
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英语笑话听力+文本：Interruption 轻率的插话
The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s. Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s. I assured her we could help and sought the assista
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英语笑话听力+文本：Business just started 开张大吉
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come in to the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and start
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英语笑话听力+文本：班级、情人和蠢驴
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow. A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the not
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英语笑话听力+文本：你可以跟他们中任何一个结婚
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for a while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl star
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英语笑话听力+文本：他什么都没听到
He never heard a thing! Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, What's the trouble? I went out this morning, she began, and when I came home I f
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英语笑话听力+文本：Parking Expenses 停车费
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business
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英语笑话听力+文本：Talking clock 会说话的钟
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. What is the big brass gong and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work? Watch, the man said an
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英语笑话听力+文本：Photo我老婆的照片
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he
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英语笑话听力+文本：Poisonous snakes 毒蛇
A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither. The son asks, Dad，are we poisonous snakes? The father replies proudly, Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son? Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!! 一个阳光明媚的下午，
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英语笑话听力+文本：Problem with gas放屁的问题
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your
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英语笑话听力+文本：Psychiatrist 精神病医生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. Doc, he said, I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy! Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure you
