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英语笑话听力+文本：Parking Expenses停车费
Parking Expenses 停车费 A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security fo
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英语笑话听力+文本：Turn Off Your Cell Phone 关掉你的手机
We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started walking her way out. Excuse me, sorry, oop
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英语笑话听力+文本：Three wishes三个愿望
Three wishes 三个愿望 A federal office worker finds a lamp in an old file drawer, and as he examines it a genie pops out. For his first of three traditional wishes, he wants to be on a beautiful deserted Island. Poof! There he is. Next, of course
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英语笑话听力+文本：That's the difference这就是区别所在
That's the difference 这就是区别所在 A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, retu
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英语笑话听力+文本：他什么都没听到
He never heard a thing! 他什么都没听到 Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, What's the trouble? I went out this morning, she began, an
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英语笑话听力+文本：Poisonous snakes毒蛇
Poisonous snakes 毒蛇 A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither. The son asks, Dad，are we poisonous snakes? The father replies proudly, Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son? Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!! 一个
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英语笑话听力+文本：He loves chocolate chip cookies他爱吃巧克力块曲奇
He loves chocolate chip cookies 他爱吃巧克力块曲奇 An old man was laying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies. He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world. With
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英语笑话听力+文本：If Life Were Like A Computer假如生活是一台电脑
If Life Were Like A Computer 假如生活是一台电脑 You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel. You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it! You could improve your appearance by adjust
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英语笑话听力+文本：I would prefer the traditional service
I would prefer the traditional service 我还是喜欢传统的仪式 A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.
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英语笑话听力+文本：Pa won't like it爸爸会不高兴的
Pa won't like it 爸爸会不高兴的 It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. Hey Willis!! the farmer yelled, Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the
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英语笑话听力+文本：Fat free油是免费的
Fat free 油是免费的 I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat Free French Fries. I decided to give them a try. I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer which were drip
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英语笑话听力+文本：E-mail电子邮件
E-mail 电子邮件 A man left for a vacation to Jamaica. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message. Unable to find the scrap of pape
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英语笑话听力+文本：Einstein and God爱因斯坦与上帝
Einstein and God 爱因斯坦与上帝 Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord...God, what does a million years mean to you? The Lord replies, A minute. Einstein asks, And what does a m
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英语笑话听力+文本：DUI violation酒后驾车
DUI violation 酒后驾车 Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he f
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英语笑话听力+文本：Don't sell that cow别卖那头牛
Don't sell that cow 别卖那头牛 The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed, trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.
