美国文化脱口秀 第364期:中美恋爱顺序是相反的?

 　　最近好多听众让我们聊聊霉霉抖森。“美国人恋爱翻篇那么快吗？”、“美国人恋爱见家长也那么快吗？”......今天，我们就说说这个话题吧！

　　关键词：

　　the “it” couple: 最火情侣

　　"It" can be used to describe what's current and trendy: "It"这个词可以用来形容很火爆的人事物

　　例如 ：

　　The It girl: 很火的女明星

　　The It bag: 爆款包包

　　Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston are the “it” couple right now: 霉霉抖森的恋情可谓是全球瞩目

　　Today, we're going to talk about the sequences of dating in American culture, e.g. when it's appropriate to meet the parents and things of that nature: 今天我们要聊聊恋爱的顺序，比如何时见父母，诸如此类的问题

　　Dating vs. Relationship: 恋爱的不同阶段

　　美国人谈恋爱，层次分明。有好感就是有好感，约会就是约会，恋爱就是恋爱。而“I love you”对美国人来说是一个慎重的承诺，不会轻易说出口。

　　What's the difference between dating and being in a relationship? : 约会和谈恋爱有什么区别？

　　Dating is one of the early stages of a relationship: 约会(dating)是谈恋爱的早期阶段

　　Being in a relationship means a full-on relationship: 而恋爱(being in a relationship)则是关系已经确定下来了

　　随着关系不断发展，你可以说:

　　We're going out: 我们看对眼 (表示双方都有好感)

　　We're seeing each other: 我们开始出去约会

　　We're dating: 我们在约会

　　I'm in a relationship with someone: 我们现在是正式恋爱关系

　　We're exclusive: 我们是专一的关系，不能约会其他人

　　Meet the parents: 美国人觉得见父母是大事吗？

　　虽然才约会一两个月，但是抖森已经带霉霉见妈妈了。见父母对美国人来说也是恋爱的一大里程碑吗？是否也意味着谈婚论嫁？

　　The word “relationship” implies a degree of seriousness and commitment:"Relationship"在英语里意味着一种认真的态度和承诺

　　They're dating with the intent of marriage: 是以结婚为目的在谈恋爱

　　The day after they announced they were dating, Taylor Swift was snapped by paparazzi as she visited Tom Hiddleston's mom: 刚宣布两人在拍拖，第二天狗仔队就拍到抖森带霉霉见他妈

　　Is meeting each other's parents a big deal in America?: 在美国见父母算恋爱过程中的大事吗？

　　It's not as big of a deal as it is in China: 跟中国比起来，美国人没有把谈恋爱见父母看的这么重

　　They can meet their dates' parents in a more casual way: 美国人恋爱见父母可以是比较轻松的一件事

　　It means you're relatively¹ serious, but it doesn't necessarily imply marriage: 当然，见父母也证明了两人关系比较认真，但不一定代表以婚姻为目的

　　中美恋爱顺序是相反的?

　　美国人恋爱何时见父母?

　　在美国，谈恋爱见父母并没有在中国那么慎重，可能在约会初期来家里接人就恰巧碰到了。但不管怎么说，见了父母的总是比没见父母的更进了一步。

　　At what stage in a relationship would people meet each other's parents?: 谈到哪个阶段才会见父母？

　　In an exclusive relationship: 两人各为唯一的约会对象

　　Many Americans believe, at early stages of dating, it's okay to date a few people: 很多美国人觉得约会一开始可以跟几个人同时进行

　　It depends on the person:因人而异

　　Let's say you just happen to be at your parents' house and the person you're dating comes and picks you up there: 一种情况是你在你爸妈家，刚好你的男／女朋友来接你

　　Generally speaking, in America, if you parents meet the person you're dating, it shows there's a heightened level of interest: 美国人如果带去见父母，多少是表示恋情已经发展到一定阶段了

　　However, it doesn't mean you're definitely thinking about getting married: 但不一定表示是奔结婚去的

　　Moving on: 美国人的翻篇速度

　　众说周知，霉霉的恋爱史已经够出书了。不仅够量，速度也是飞快。刚跟前任分手，火速就跟抖森谈恋爱了。其实，美国人对于这样的翻篇速度也颇有微词。

　　She's had a lot of high-profile relationships: 她谈恋爱满高调的

　　She's a high-profile person: 她本身就是名人

　　A player: 花心的人

　　In America, if a girl is going from boyfriend to boyfriend, she won't be welcomed by guys: 在美国，如果一个女生男朋友一个接着一个，那她在男生心里形象肯定不好

　　The stigma² still exists: 对于翻篇速度，还是有偏见的

　　Whether it's a guy or a girl, people who go from relationship to relationship are generally not very stable: 不管男女，恋情一段接一段，估计这个人不太靠得住

　　single phase/time between relationships: 空窗期

　　Maybe you just don't like being by yourself: 可能你不喜欢一个人

　　Jennifer Lopez once said, “I'm not good at being alone”: Jennifer Lopez曾说过，“我不太擅长一个人过”

　　It's definitely nice to have someone to share your life with: 有人陪伴当然是好事

　　Some people are just needy/clingy: 有些人很粘人，一直要人陪

　　You don't really look at the relationship you're in as that serious: 你对现在的感情不太重视

　　Easily end one relationship and start another one: 挥手告别上一段恋情，就大步走向下一个人的怀抱

　　Not getting married: 不婚族

　　欧洲许多国家，很多人共同生活很久、有孩子，却维持不婚状态。但美国的结婚率比欧洲还是高很多。美国人普遍还是比较重视婚姻的。

　　civil partnership: 民事伴侣关系，只缺一纸婚书

　　de facto marriage: 事实婚姻，同上

　　I don't want to get married: 我是个不婚族

　　Americans, for the most part, still regard marriage as an important institution: 大多美国人依然很看重婚姻这一传统

　　I've realized how conservative I am in some regards: 我发现某些方便我还是蛮保守的

　　I'm not super traditional or conservative, especially compared to a lot of Chinese people: 跟大多数中国人比，我不算太传统、太保守

　　But when compared to certain Europeans I've encountered, I realized that I'm a little more conservative: 但跟我认识的一些欧洲人比，我还是比较保守的

　　I think of marriage as a big formality: 我觉得婚姻是一个重要的规矩

　　What I mean by formality is that it's just something that you do: 我说婚姻像一个”规矩”，意思是说你就得这么做

　　I could see myself getting married one day: 我想以后我还是会结婚的

　　A lot of people get married for tax and legal purposes: 很多人结婚就是为了税务、法律方面的优惠

　　If two people have lived together for ten years, they might as well make it marriage and get some money back: 如果两人都已经同居10年了，不如就结婚算了，还能拿点钱

　　Let's end the show on a more romantic note: 我们说点浪漫的事来结束今天的节目

　　I totally believe in love, even love at first sight: 我当然相信爱情，我还相信一见钟情

1 relatively   

adv.比较...地，相对地

参考例句：

• The rabbit is a relatively recent introduction in Australia.兔子是相对较新引入澳大利亚的物种。
• The operation was relatively painless.手术相对来说不痛。

2 stigma   

n.耻辱，污名；(花的)柱头

参考例句：

• Being an unmarried mother used to carry a social stigma.做未婚母亲在社会上曾是不光彩的事。
• The stigma of losing weighed heavily on the team.失败的耻辱让整个队伍压力沉重。