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(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Profits of Praise
赞美的益处
Janet Graham(珍妮特·格雷厄姆)
Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet,
while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow
reluctant to give our fellows the warm sunshine of praise.
It's strange how chary1 we are about praising. Perhaps it's because few of us know how to
accept compliments gracefully2. Instead, we are embarrassed and shrug3 off the words we are
really so glad to hear. Because of this defensive4 reaction, direct compliments are surprisingly
difficult to give. That is why some of the most valued pats on the back are those which come to
us indirectly5, in a letter or passed on by a friend. When one thinks of the speed with which spiteful
注 remarks are conveyed, it seems a pity that there isn't more effort to relay pleasing and
flattering comments.
It's especially rewarding to give praise in areas in which effort generally goes unnoticed or
unmentioned. An artist gets complimented for a glorious picture, a cook for a perfect meal. But do
you ever tell your laundry manager how pleased you are when the shirts are done just right?
Do you ever praise your paper boy for getting the paper to you on time 365 days a year?
Praise is particularly appreciated by those doing routine jobs: gas station attendants,
waitresses — even housewives.
Comment is often made about activities which are relatively6 easy and satisfying, like
arranging flowers; but not about jobs which are hard and dirty, like scrubbing floors. Shakespeare
said, “Our praise are our wages.” Since so often praise is the only wage a housewife receives,
surely she of all people should get her measure.
Mothers know instinctively7 that for children an ounce of praise is worth a pound of scolding.
Still, we're not always as perceptive8 as we might be about applying the rule. Teachers agree
about the value of praise. One teacher writes that instead of drowning students' compositions in
critical red ink, the teacher will get far more constructive9 results by finding one or two things
which have been done better than last time, and commenting favorably on them.
Behavioral scientists have done countless10 experiments to prove that any human being tends to
repeat an act which has been immediately followed by a pleasant result. In one such experiment, a
number of schoolchildren were divided into three groups and given arithmetic tests daily for five
days. One group was consistently praised for its previous performance; another group was
criticized; the third was ignored.
Not surprisingly, those who were praised improved dramatically . Those who were
criticized improved also, but not so much. And the scores of the children who were ignored hardly
improved at all. Interestingly the brightest children were helped just as much by criticism as by
praise, but the less able children reacted badly to criticism, needed praise the most. Yet the latter
are the very youngsters who, in most schools, fail to get the pat on the back.
To give praise costs the giver nothing but a moment's thought and a moment's effort —
perhaps a quick phone call to pass on a compliment, or five minutes spent writing an appreciative11
letter. It is such a small investment — and yet consider the results it may produce. “I can live for
two months on a good compliment,” said Mark Twain.
So, let's be alert to the small excellences12 around us — and comment on them. We will not
only bring joy into other people's lives, but also, very often, add happiness into our own.
赞扬犹如阳光，使人精神振奋。没有赞扬，我们便不能开花、生长。然而，我们大多
数人动辄就向别人吹去批评的冷风，却不愿意为人们撒下赞扬的温暖阳光。
奇怪的是，对于给人赞扬我们是多么吝啬。也许是因为我们很少有人知道如何优雅地
接受赞扬。相反，对于我们乐意听的那些话，我们觉得难为情，满不在乎。由于这种防御
性反应，直接进行赞美非常不易。那就是为什么大多数赞美的话是向我们间接说出的，用
信件或由朋友之口传递。不以为然的话会脱口而出，传达褒扬之词时人们却不愿费工夫，
这不能说不是憾事。
在那些付出努力却通常不受关注的领域，尤其值得给予赞扬。一位艺术家因为一幅精
美的画作而大受赞美，一位厨师因为烧了一桌好菜而褒扬有加。但是，当你的衬衫洗得干
净、熨得齐整时，你可曾对洗衣店的老板说你是多么欣喜？报童一年365天把报纸准时送到
你手中，你可曾表扬过他？
赞扬特别为那些做枯燥乏味工作的人所看重：加油站的员工，女服务员——甚至家庭
妇女。
相对容易、使人满意的活动往往易受到赞扬，如布置花卉；而又苦又脏的工作却不易
得到赞美，如擦地板。莎士比亚说：“我们的赞扬就是我们发的薪酬。”既然赞扬时常就是
一位家庭主妇所领到的唯一酬金，在所有人中她当然最应该受到赞扬。
母亲们凭本能知道，对于孩子，一盎司的赞扬抵得上一英镑的责备。然而对于贯彻使
用这条准则，我们的反应还不够灵敏。教师们承认赞扬的价值。一位老师说，不用批评的
红墨水淹没学生的作文，而是找出一两处比上次写得好的地方，给予表扬，就能取得更多
的建设性效果。
行为科学家做过无数的实验，结果证明，任何人都倾向于重复一项立即见到好结果的
行为。在一次这样的实验中，一些小学生被分成三个小组，一连五天每天都对他们进行算
术测验。一个小组总是为上次的测验成绩而受到表扬，另一个小组受到批评，第三个小组
不予理睬。
毫不奇怪，那些受到表扬的学生成绩大幅提高。那些受到批评的学生也有所提高，但
并不大。那几十个不予理睬的孩子几乎没有任何长进。有趣的是，最聪明的孩子，批评和
赞扬对他们同样有帮助，但是智力较差的学生对批评反应很糟，最需要表扬。然而，后者
正是大多数学校中得不到表扬的那部分青少年。
赞美不花费给予者什么——只需要一点点关心和努力——或者打一个简短电话，说句
赞美的话，或花五分钟写一封表扬信。这投资很少——可是考虑一下所能产生的结果
吧。“一句赞美的话，能让我两个月快活如神仙。”马克·吐温说。
所以，让我们留意他人的点滴优点、善行，及时送上我们的赞扬，这将给他人的生活
送去快乐，也会使自己倍感舒畅。
收听单词发音 |
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chary
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| adj.谨慎的，细心的 | |
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gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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defensive
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| adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的 | |
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indirectly
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| adv.间接地，不直接了当地 | |
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relatively
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| adv.比较...地，相对地 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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perceptive
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| adj.知觉的，有洞察力的，感知的 | |
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constructive
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| adj.建设的，建设性的 | |
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countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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appreciative
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| adj.有鉴赏力的，有眼力的；感激的 | |
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excellences
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| n.卓越( excellence的名词复数 )；（只用于所修饰的名词后）杰出的；卓越的；出类拔萃的 | |
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