When his wife was expecting their third child, a father decided to tell his two sons, ages seven and nine, the facts of life. He checked out several books from the library on how parents should approach the subject. After stumbling through an explana...
I asked a colleague of mine how he liked the shirt his daughter had given him as a gift. The color and the design are nice, he said. But the sleeves are three inches too long.I suggested that perhaps it was made for a much taller man. I don't think s...
The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistanc...
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately. The next day she noticed...
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. All right, you two, I said sternly. No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting...
After I took office as mayor of a small Kentucky city, an unfortunate incident precipitated some hateful phone calls to my home. One night while I was conducting a city-council meeting, my wife answered the phone. Is this the home of Bert May, the ma...
Donald was not very good at math. He could not understand the teacher's explanations. Even when the teacher explained something a second time, Donald still could not understand it. Never mind, Donald told himself. I'm quite good at other subjects. I'...
A salesman was chatting with the owner of a motel.Business is terrible, said the motel owner. 'Really bad.But every time I drive by here you have the 'no vacancy' sign on. said the salesman. That's true, replied the motel owner. But I used to turn aw...
Then there was the preacher who decided to sell his horse. A prospective buyer was impressed with the animal, but the preacher said, I must warn you-he only responds to 'church talk'. Go is 'Praise the Lord', and stop is 'Hallelujah'. I've worked wit...
There was once a farmer who lived near a road. It was not a busy road, but from time to time, cars passed the farm. Near the farm gate, there was a large hole in the road. This hole was always full of water, and the drivers of the cars could not see...
The morning following the birth of our first child, my husband was mistakenly directed to the room of another new mother on the maternity floor. As he walked into the room, he bent over the nap- ping mother, whose back was turned to him, and gave her...
While sitting on the bleachers during my youngest son's baseball game, I overheard another mother talking about her three-year-old daughter, who was playing with a neighbor's boy. The little girl kept saying to the boy, Marry me. Marry me. The little...
One of my fellow midshipmen at the U. S. Naval Academy was performing poorly in class and reported to his company officer for counseling., Your marks are deplorable! the officer scolded. Is there a problem-that has kept you from studies?No, sir, the...
Kathy and Polly were friends but they liked playing tricks on each otherOne day Kathy met Polly in the street. She said, Hi, Polly. It's good to see you.How can you see me when I'm not here? Polly asked. What do you mean, you' re not here? Kathy aske...
When a snail crossed the road, he was run over by a turtle. Regaining consciousness in the emergency room, he was asked what caused the accident. I really can't remember, the snail replied. You see, it all happened so fast.Notes: (1) snail n.蜗牛(2...
