My husband ordered home delivery of our local newspaper. Because we live in rural area where no street numbers are used, I was concerned that the carrier would have trouble finding us. Sure enough, we missed delivery several days despite frequent cal...
The mechanic was very busy when I took my car in for repairs, so I settled down in the waiting room with a book I'd brought along. The mechanic was in and out answering calls, and at one point he stopped and looked at me . Would you do me a favor and...
While I was talking to a parent of one of my third-grade students, another teacher walked by. The mother, remarking how beautiful the woman was, said, If my son had her for a teacher, he wouldn't be able to concentrate. Then she paused and added, Goo...
When I was approaching 50, I announced to my three grown children that I no longer wanted to celebrate my birthday and that they could phone me instead of sending a gift. At first they protested, but finally they agreed to go along with my wish. So w...
I accompanied my eight-month-pregnant wife to her monthly checkup . We boarded the hospital's elevator to go to the appropriate floor. The only other passenger was an elderly man who studied intently and then said, Boy.Without another word, he got of...
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you . The frog says, This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?No, says the psychic. Next semester in her...
One day Mel Martin stopped by the chambers of a judge with whom he had lunch appointment. As his friend changed from robe jacket, Martin noticed a shiny black pistol bolstered to the judge's shoulder. The judge was not a firearms enthusiast, so Marti...
A bureaucrat was hiking when he came upon a shepherd tending a large flock. The bureaucrat took a fancy to the sheep and asked the shepherd, If I can guess how many there are, may I have one? The shepherd thought it unlikely the man would guess the e...
Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual the...
Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with his little son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck. After a time, he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: Have you seen my child?One of his...
A man handed a pair of slacks to the department-store clerk. I'd like these altered, please, he said. The clerk asked for the sales receipt, but after searching his pockets, the man replied he had lost it. The clerk informed him that it was store pol...
A married couple, both avid golfers, were discussing the future one night. Honey, the wife said, if I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?I suppose so-it's paid for.How about our car? continued the woman. Would the t...
I bought some pears at my local supermarket. At the checkout counter the cashier commented, Oh, dear, I've charged you for plums instead of pears.What's the difference? I asked. Well, she said, plums are smaller and round.Notes: (1) pear n.梨(2) sup...
You'll have to take care of the baby today, a woman told her husband . I'm not feeling well.Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear. her husband said. I'll be pleased to look after our baby. Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better....
The woman ahead of me in a long line at the department of motor vehicles was reading a paperback romance novel. I inched along behind her and when her turn finally came, she stepped aside, saying You go on ahead. I can't stop now. He's just carried h...
