A guy was dating a girl named Lorraine. He knew that Lorraine was the ONE. She had all the qualities that he wanted in a woman. She was smart, funny, and beautiful. Then one day in the video store, he met a girl named Clearly. Now Clearly was beautif...
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. The first one said, I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside them is numbered.I think librarians are the easiest, said the second. When you open them up,...
One day a rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded, he had everything; money, a big house in Beverly Hills, drugs, girls, cars, planes; anything he wanted. The guy was also a little eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles...
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks the young man wants. Well, he said, I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want condoms because I think to...
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation,screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. When I d...
Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, Did Godmake you, Grandpa?Yes, God made me, the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, Did God make me too?Yes, He did, the older man answered. For a few min...
This bloke (人，家伙）is lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his weeping wife and his four children. Three of the children are tall, good looking andathletic, but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt（矮子）. Darling, the husband whisper...
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured （自信的）princess happened upon （偶然碰见）a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch （巫婆） put a spell （符咒）on...
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, - both could barely see overthe dashboard (仪表盘）. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat...
An old man was sitting on his porch （门廊）, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand. What are you selling young man, the oldman asked. I'm not selling anything, the young man said. I'm the Census Taker(户口调查人员）...
A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale(秤）, sucking （往回吸，收腹）in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver（巧计，策略）, shecommented, I don't think that's going to help.Sure it w...
Two Americans laid a wreath (花圈）on a comrade's grave and saw, nearby, a Japanese laying rice on the grave of a countryman. One American asked, When do you expect your comrade to come and eat that rice?The Japanese replied, When your friend come...
Pete: The last time I was out hunting, I stepped off a high cliff, and would you believe it, while I was falling every fool deed I'd ever done came into my mind.Bob: Must have been a pretty high mountain you fell from....
One night, as a couple laid down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. The wife turned over and said, I'm sorry, honey, I've got a Gynecologist(妇科医生) appointment tomorrow.The husband, rejecte...
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming（涂上泡沫） him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. I have just the thing, says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby dra...
