Our supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up(备货，囤积）. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy （不足的, 吝啬的）prepackaged portions of the poultry, s...
One night, a husband and wife were having a conversation over dinner: WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why wouldn't y...
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, If any of you indulge in your vices (恶习）on...
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle (匆匆忙忙）of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now ther...
A Christmas survey showed that men spend more time looking for gifts for their bosses than for their wives, but women spend more time shopping for their pets than their spouses. This wouldn't happen if spouses remembered the truth. Your wife is the b...
A site foreman (工头，领班）had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you, he announced. Will the laziest man please...
Little Suzie was in her bedroom when her younger brother knocked on the door. Hey! Let me in, he shouted. I can't let you in because I'm in my nightgown(女睡衣） and mama says it isn't right for little boys to see little girls in their nightgowns...
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, I built a big house for our mother.The second said, I sent her a Mercedes with a d...
A man and his wife are watching a Mike Tyson boxing match on pay-per-view TV. The husband sighs and says, I'm so disappointed! It was all over in four minutes. What a fucking rip-off(索取高价，偷窃）!!The wife replies, Good! Now you know how...
A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for Christmas dinner and was surprised to find his young nephew, Timmy, helping them bake some cupcakes. After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Timmy to put the icing（糕点上的糖衣，...
Little Johnny says Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.Well, you've done the right thing, says MommyBut Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap(膝盖）....
At a small parish (教区）in rural New England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns wasnoticing that the rugs （地毯，小垫子）in the church were beginning to fray（磨损）. She went to the priest and tol...
A man walked into a dress shop and told the clerk he wanted to buy a surprise formal evening gown (礼服, 睡袍)for his wife. What size? asked the clerk. The man shrugged blankly. Trying to help, the clerk inquired, Well then, what are your wife's...
The California blonde was thinking of taking a vacation to Hawaii. She wondered how long the flight was, so she called Hawaiian Airlines for some information. The busy Hawaiian Airline reservation lady answered and the blonde said: Could you tell me...
A blonde walks into a New York City Bank and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says he will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands ove...
