A woman was walking down the street with her blouse openand her right breast hanging out. A cop was approachingfrom about a block away, thinking to himself, Boy, myeyes must be going. It looks like that woman is hangingout of her blouse. But, as he g...
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being judged by God, who was undecided whether to admit Gates to Heaven or send him to Hell. Bill, God says, I don't know if I should reward you for all the good you did for society by...
German scientists dug 50 meters down and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone net. Naturally, the Russian government wa...
A young man was walking through a super market to pick upa few things when he noticed an old lady following him. Pardon me, she said. I'm sorry if my staring at youhas made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you lookjust like my son, who died rec...
A woman went into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She told the director that she wanted her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit. He asked, Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?...
Employee: The stress my boss puts me under is killing me. I have migraines(偏头疼）, my blood pressure is going through the roof, I can't sleep at night, I just found out that I have an ulcer（溃疡）, and as long as I stay in this job, the on...
A teacher asked one of her pupils, What'sthe nation's capital?The reply was, Washington DCOn being asked what the DC stood for,the pupil added, Dot com!...
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove thatthey are the best at apprehending criminals. The Presidentdecides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into aforest and has each of them try to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place anim...
Harry had a bit of a drinking problem. Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local watering hole. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home, well inebriated, around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the...
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut but the barber refused saying, You do God's work. The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a hair...
When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. When you make a mistake, you're an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he's on...
A women complained to a friend,She told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her.Well, replied her friend in a hurt tone, I told her not to tell you I told her.Oh dear! sighed the first women. Well, don't tell her I told you that sh...
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression. Bartender: What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?The man: We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month.Bartender: That should make you hap...
A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie (妖怪）appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, For your kindness I will grant you a wish,but only one -...
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it,looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later she came out of...
