Morris and Becky were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation... On the way home from the adopti...
There was a Mirror of Truth that if you stood in front of it and told a lie it would suck you into it never to be seen again. A very ugly man stood in front of it at declared.. Mirror of Truth.. I think I'm the handsomest man alive and...Swoooop! he...
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in the classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside? Tommy: Yes. Teacher: Tommy, do you see the grass outside? Tommy: Ye...
A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner. Look, he said, let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink. If yo...
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks the young man wants. Well, he said, I've been seeing this girl for awhile and she's really hot. I want condoms because I think ton...
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this for awhile and then told her husband th...
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothedcold cream on her face. Why do you do that mommy? he asked. To make myself beautiful, said his mother, who then beganremoving the cream with a tissue. What's the matter? asked Little Johnny. Gi...
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each ot...
Jim let his dog out to relieve himself late one night. He watched some TV, and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog's mouth was his neighbor's cat, dead! Bad dog! BAD DOG! said the...
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that if I made ugly faces, my face would free...
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terriblepassion for baked beans. He loved them, but they alwayshad an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day, he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry,...
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was the more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat,...
Three pregnant women are knitting sweaters for their babies when one of them takes a pill. The second one says, What was that?The first one says, Vitamin C, to make my baby's bones healthy.The second one takes a pill, and the third one says, What was...
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, Lord, I have a problem!What's the problem, Eve?Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm ju...
A guy phones a law office and says: I want to speakto my lawyer. The receptionist replies, I'm sorrybut he died last week.The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, I told you yesterday, he diedlast week.The ne...
